Negotiation – Internationally, Locally, Inter-personally, Internally
By Verlaine Crawford
Author of Ending the Battle Within,
How to Create a Harmonious Life by Working with Our Sub-Personalities
On every level of negotiation, from the global to the personal, we are dealing with a variety of personalities, which have been created based on beliefs taught by our culture. The teachers of our beliefs have been our families, friends, church, school, books and magazines, the news, movies, television soap operas, the Internet, etc. Within each country, community, and family, and even within ourselves we find a variety of beliefs, some are in alignment, many beliefs are contradictory.
Our beliefs are the seeds out of which we create our reality.
Beliefs generate thoughts generate actions generate our lives.
If you want to know what you believe, look at your life.
Your life becomes a bio-feedback system, by which you can see your beliefs.
If you see a field of corn, you know that it came from kernels of corn. If you are struggling in your life, you can start to look at your beliefs about struggle and success. If you have difficulty with money, look at your beliefs about wealth. If you have no one to love, look at your beliefs about relationship.
What does this have to do with International negotiation? The answer is that no mater where you are in the world, you will always be negotiating with an individual, perhaps several individuals, but it always comes down to one person being able to say yes.
Therefore, when you are negotiating, you are a cluster of beliefs meeting with another cluster of beliefs trying to blend those beliefs so that you each receive what you want and/or can compromise effectively. The trick is to be able to put your beliefs aside and begin to understand the motivations, concepts, lifestyle, beliefs, and reason for entering into negotiation of the other.
Your job is to build a relationship. Pretend you are a reporter gathering information.
Who is this person sitting across from you?
What makes them get up in the morning?
Do they have a family? What do they do for fun?
What have they done to be the person they are today?
Why did they choose this profession, company, product?
Who can make the final decision?
When can the decision be final?
What is necessary to finalize the deal?
How can you make this a win-win situation?
Everything you think shows. Everything they think shows.
Be aware of what you are thinking. Make it positive…upbeat.
Pay attention to all that they do, their tone of voice, and their body language.
The air is full of information passing between you – no matter the language barriers
or difference in cultures. If you are aware, you will know what they are thinking.
Points of Negotiation:
- Always be clear about what you want the end result to be. Rehearse your desired outcome in your mind before the meeting. See it, feel it, become it.
- How many items do you wish to sell at what price?
- How much money do you want for your salary? Commission?
- Do you just want to date this person, or are you interested in a commitment?
- Where do you want to enjoy your holiday?
- Where would you like to live? What kind of car do you want to drive?
- Find out what they want the end result to be.
- What rules do they have to operate in?
- What will they receive for getting the best deal from you?
- What kind of desires do they have for their lives?
- Sit on the same side of the table. If you can’t do that in reality, do it in your mind.
- Put yourself in their place. If you were that person, what would you need? How can you fulfill those needs?
- If there are objections, confusion, and/or upset to overcome, find out the cause.
- We are all victims of our past memories. They stop us from enjoying and doing our best today.
- Your job is to solve the problems between you and the person across from you. Where is the common ground? What solution will please you both?
- Every negotiation is a psychological exercise, whether its for your first kiss with a
new date, buying a car or a house, selling a widget or a company, or negotiating
peace between countries.
- Whatever is happening across the table from you is either your desires or fears
manifesting for you to see. You are the writer, editor, set designer, star of the show, and creator of the cast of characters in your life. Look around, and you will see what is happening inside of you. Change your thoughts, your beliefs, your inner landscape, and your outer landscape will shift to match what is happening inside.