My parents died while I was at university. First mum, then dad. An aunty came to help me pack up what I want to keep and get ready to sell the rest.
My aunt was clearing dad's sock drawn when I hear he say "Alan's belt". She was holding a military uniform belt. I asked 'who's Alan'. Your brother came the reply. I never knew I had a brother. It turns out he was in the army and died just as I was born. She won't tell me any more.
A year later I met up with a long-term childhood friend. When we went to different universities so lost touch. He asked how the folks were and I told him they'd died. It was a conversation stopper. We soon parted promising to keep in touch but knowing we wouldn't.
I went on to do a master's. I'd no job prospect and no home to go to.
I was about to graduate when Dave phoned. What was I doing where was I going to live?
He told me he'd gone into free lance engineering. He and a group of friends made custom computer controlled units doing whatever people wanted.
He'd wanted to have a place of his own but needed someone to share. So there I was.
Dave often wore army surplus - it was cheap and hardwearing and reasonably fashionable at the moment. He looked good in it - his job was reasonably physical when installing the gear and he did freelance rigging work to make ends meet.
He'd noticed me looking at him at bit too interested but I explained that I was thinking of getting gear because I had a crummy job and the stuff was cheap. Dave told me where the stores where and how to get the best deals but I never got round to it.
One night we'd been to the pub and then cracked a bottle of whisky at home. The TV was on, re-runs of Batman. I started to get down as I do when drinking over long periods.
He asked what was wrong and I told him I had become obsessed by death. I couldn't bare the thought of dieing after a long illness. He thought I meant to suicide but I explained I'd prefer to be executed. Quick and clean on the appointed day.
The episode of Batman was getting to the cliffhanger. Batman and robin where strapped into electric chairs. They where connected to a slot machine. If it came up three lemons then the power would turn on. First one lemon, then two then it was bat time same bat channel.
Dave noticed I'd been watching very careful and was aroused.
We talked and I said I thought that moment of waiting was the great thrill. We talked about movies with executions and which were realistic. I realized the more realistic the less of a turn on.
A few weeks later I was going through stuff to decide what to keep as a reminder and what to let go.
There was Alan's belt. Dave asked about it and I told him that I'd a brother who died while in the army. He thought that accounted for my interest in uniform gear. He tried the belt. I tried but it was miles too small. I'd put on a lot of weight comfort eating.
That night Dave suggested a deal. If I slimmed down so I could fit the belt he'd design and build a mock execution machine like the one in batman. We shock on it.
I lost a couple of pounds easily enough and told Dave. A couple of days later a pair of used combat boots were delivered.
I told Dave he said it was 'encouragement'. Every couple of pounds would be a new piece of kit. I liked those boots.
Dave suggested I try to find out about my brother from newspapers and the like.
The diet went slowly but the kit kept on coming as the scales allowed. The combat pants didn't fit not even close. Dave said he's measure the belt and these were the right size. I didn't get to go in the machine until I could wear the belt.
The weight loose got harder as time went by but I tried and made slow progress.
One day nearly a year later when Dave came home I was wearing all the combat gear and the belt around the outside of the jacket.
Dave looked smiled and said 'time to get serious'.
A month or so later I finished work early. When I got home there was a note from Dave. Machine ready in workshop we'll beta test when I get home.
I wasted no time getting into my kit. I spent time making it look good - the weight lose made all the difference. I couldn't wait I had to see. The house had a small extension that used to be a store. Dave used it as a workshop. I found the key and let myself in.
Dave knew I wouldn't wait. There was another sheet of paper it was instructions. Bondage gear was laid out on the bench. Straps and handcuffs and a black clothe bag.
I was to strap my boots together and then the knees. The bag and handcuffs must be within reach.
On the floor was a small rubber mat with a square painted on it. Inside the square it said stand within the square. I did.
A computer-generated voice said secure the victim's feet in the next thirty seconds.
Time counted down. A motor started and a noose descended from the roof and stooped just below my head. It didn't have a hangman's knot but a metal eyelet. Very official.
Secure wrists. Wait 15 seconds if playing alone.
Count down. 3. 2. 1.
Hood the victim and place the noose. I reach for the bag it was light proof. I fumbled for the noose. The eyelet let is slip freely. Count down.
Slid washer to give comfortable position. The eyelet had a also had a rubber washer to hold it in place .It made the noose snug and kept it in place the note behind my left ear rope slightly hanging down behind. It all feels very erotic.
Check handcuffs. I'd already put one on my left wrist. All I had to do was secure the other. Dare I do it behind. Well I had too. I wouldn't look right other wise. The key was in the back pocket and I'd careful put on the left bracelet so I knew where the keyhole was.
Now is your chance to leave. Step out of the square in the next 15 seconds to cancel. The machine counted down. I suppose I would have moved but I didn't want to. I was already aroused and my heart was pumping. Breathing fast and shallow
'Taking up the slack' the motor worked and a slight pressure as the rope was wound up. It stopped just right - there must be a pressure switch.
The victim will die at three lemons. Announced the voice.
'Lemon' it said
'Lemon' it said
Just like batman
'Cherry' it said - 'your safe'.
What now?
"I want another go" said the machine.
Lemon, Lemon, Strawberry "You're safe".
Dave must have set the first two lemons so only the last changed.
Lemon, Lemon, Cherry it said.
"If you want to bug out, move away". The rope motor slackened the tension so that I could have moved.
"Or stay for the next level".
I had to go on of it was going to be an anticlimax.
3. 2. 1.
"OK" said the voice "going up".
The motor started up and the slack was taken up. This time it continued going.
'On your toes boy' said the machine.
The odds now change.
The last barrel now only has one Cherry and all the rest are Lemons.
Tip toe was stressful but manageable.
Lemon, Lemon, Lemon.
The motor started to hoist very, very slowly.
Tighter and tighter got the noose. I got to the absolute tip of toes but on it went.
The noose continued to tighten. The bag was not bellowing in an out as I struggled to breath. The noose sealed the bag so I was re-breathing as well.
My heart went up a gear and my neck hurt badly. The lungs worked but nothing was getting through. Sweat was running down my face and my eyes stung. My eyes were starting to bulge and my tongue was blocking my mouth.
As more weight was support by my neck and not my feet I started to spin around. It must have been twists in the rope.
But the motor stepped on. My feet left the ground. This must have triggered something in the machine.
"Now you die you sick bastard" and the motor went fast and I was up to the top of the hoist and already unconscious.
Dave had been to the cutting library. He discovered that my brother had hung himself.
I suppose I was born to hang and I had. It must run in the family.