MWTN Supporting Language

Supportive Language

Suggestions for bedside staff when family is opposing First Person Authorization

Some of the statements below will feel better and more comfortable to you than others.

It is most important that you say things that feel right to you in this situation with this family.

“You are not alone. Many families have not discussed their wishes about donation with each other, even when they talk about many other things. It is difficult to talk about issues related to death.”

“I can imagine how hard this might be for you that _____ made this decision without sharing her wishes with you. Her actions seem to say how important it was to her to help others.”
“We are committed to doing everything we can to care for you and honor ____ at the same time.”
“I would like to slow down for a moment and take a breath. It might be helpful to focus on spending some quality time with ______. If you like, you can help me give him a bath.”

“I’m sorry that you didn’t know her wishes. It must be difficult to try to accept her decision when you would not have made the same choice.”
“We do not want to cause you more pain at this difficult time. Unfortunately, the jolt of this situation makes difficult the task to balance your son’s wish to help others through donation and the concerns you have. I believe we can figure this out…”
“I can only imagine how overwhelming this is. In a little bit our support team will meet with us. The information they share is extremely important. We want to make sure the needs you, ______, and the rest of the family have are met.”

“Life does not prepare us for all that you have gone through in the last few days. I do not know anyone who would have traveled this road any better. KU has a commitment to make sure the best staff is available to help everyone as we figure out how to move forward from here. They are on their way and will be here soon to help us all.”

“I hear what you are saying. Unfortunately, I do not have all of the answers right now. However I know if we keep talking we will come up with the answers together.”