US Administration Adds Mother Nature to Terrorism Watch List, Tells God to “Bring it On” While Declaring Victory in the War on the Poor


Washington, D.C., September 27/PRNEWSWIRE/ -- Juan Cantinflas del Flaco, known to be totally lacking a sense of humor, stood up and saluted as the Members of Congress and the Joint Chiefs of Staff were briefed this morning on the addition of Mother Nature to the U.S. Terrorism Watch List..

“I am moved with admiration,” Cantinflas said, “at the audacity, the imagination, the intellectual probity, of this Administration in recognizing that Mother Nature is a terrorist. Despite that fact that we still do not have an integrated terrorist watch list four years after 9/11, the fact that the Administration has downgraded Iran and its proven support for Khobar Towers and other suicidal bombings by Hamas and Hezbollah to ‘let’s ignore’ status, the White House has at least the got the big one right—Mother Nature (should we call her Mother of all Terrorists now?) is clearly the greatest threat to America.

“The Institute for Homeland Security is to be congratulated on bringing this threat to the attention of the White House. Despite fifty years of warning from both secret intelligence agencies and humanitarian organizations of ill-repute such as the United Nations and Doctors without Borders, despite the Millennium Report, the High-Level Threat Report, and many other independent studies, it was not until Mother Nature was recognized as a full-blown terrorist that she received proper respect in Washington.

“We all recognize the deep personal relationship that our President has with God, and the President knows best,” Cantinflas said while standing at attention, but I do wonder if telling God to ‘bring it on,’ might not have been a poor choice of words.

“It is a step forward when any U.S. Administration has an intellectual break-out of this magnitude. Certainly it is helpful for former Director of Central Intelligence George Tenet, to declare that this finding is a ‘slam dunk.’ History will prove him right in ignoring the need for Global Coverage in July 1997, saying ‘Who cares?’

“Today’s Presidential declaration to the effect that all poor people are illegal immigrants, and will be immediately deported, strikes just the right note as we turn our attention to the Mother of all Terrorists.”

SOURCE: Latino Humor

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10/18/2005

CONTACT: Juan Cantilflas del Flaco

Telephone: 202.456.2640

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