Meeting agenda

1. Business section

1.1 members ‘present’

1.2 apologies

1.3 minutes of previous meetings

1.4 matters arising from the minutes

2. The fabled Treasurer's report (starring PowerPointTM)

2.1 in which last season is discussed

2.2 in which a budget is proposed

3. The slightly less fabled Captain's report (starring cigarette & pint)

3.1 diatribe

3.2 plans for next year

4. Election of Club Officers

5. Miscellaneous matters

5.1 league committee members

5.2 other things

Minutes, shorties & dwarves

The meeting commenced, late, in the usual improvised semi-disaster of disorganisation, with Navjot, a graduate of the Andrew Gilligan school of annalists, recording events with an eye as impartial as al-Jereeza (Domon to criticise spelling later) as he sat before a backdrop of well-preserved graptolites.

1.1  Members ‘present’

Present: Philly & Del, The Morganucadon, Sibbo, Mr & Mrs Deano, Potty & Turd, Navjot A Page, TJR, Anthony 'Tony' Windram, Frankie & Deborah, McClarence & Kate, The A-Bomb, Ed Thomas, Ali Hawker, Will Reynolds, Bellend, Peregrine the Wake.

Members: Duncan & Jen.

The late: Paddy, Plimlott the Elongate.

1.2  Apologies

Apologies for absence were sent by MMJL, Broon and Dr Warner (in Siena) unfortunately these were not heard due to the guffawing about Navjot being an apology, which only subsided after the NHS crack squad of corset fitters departed having soothed out spilt sides sufficiently. It appears the ‘humour’ lies in the repetition.

1.3  Minutes of previous meetings

Peregrine noted that Dar es Salaam was spelt wrong in the minutes of the 1st AGM of 2005, it should be rendered ﮀﮡﮚﻲ ﻼﻤﻏ ﺯﺱﺚ .

Once this careless oversight was acknowledged, the minutes were agreed as correct, not that anyone really remembered what had happened.

1.4  Matters arising from the minutes

The following matters arose:

1.4.1  Spelling: to over come declining standards in pedantry, official tosser in waiting Peregrine the Wake kindly offered to check and correct the spelling punctuation and grammar of all Village CC correspondence and documentation. The sic. will again be Damon’s. E E Cummins was unavailable to comment on the Morganucadon’s emails.

1.4.2  Village Idiot costume: the Village Idiot costume was modified to be a T-shirt bearing a photograph of old school socialist James Small dressed in his usual get up of clothes purchased from a jumble sale for paedophiles, and some appropriate slogan. Quite how this beat having a trip to Joe Botting’s barber is uncertain.

2. Treasurer’s report

Last season broke even and the club now have a bank account. However, there are insufficient funds to pay back monies owed to Potty (£lots, AEMcC (£lots), and Navjot (£50 plus league fees).

The Account is in the name of ‘The Village Cricket Club of St Margaret and St Bernard (her dog)’. With the following sort code and account number: 40 07 13 11606654

After much debate, those present decided to accept a similar payment plan to last year. The slight modification being that we remember to pay/collect monies owed with some reasonable regularity.

3. Captain’s report

3.1 Diatribe

Having eventual transferred our form against teams that don’t turn up to matches against team’s which did turn up the Village registered three victories last season. And there was much rejoicing.

McClarence’s manifesto for 2006 stated that we will continue to enjoy our cricket and, somewhat more loftily, that we should aim to finish somewhere other than bottom in the NELCL. The word ‘TOSH’ appeared on the big screen, possibly a reference to an erstwhile Sun Hill detective.

3.2 Plans for next season

3.2.1  NELCL: the present members agreed that the club would again enter its 2nd XI in the NELCL

3.2.2  Not enough Indians: McClarence suggested that the club should consider appointing a fixture secretary to arrange friendlies and also a 1st & 3rd XI captain to run the ‘Sunday’ side, with both being non-executive officers of the club much like webmaster or social secretary. The former was unanimously accepted, though the later was rejected for a scheme of ‘flexibility’.

This is the first amendment to the club constitution.

3.2.3  2nd amendment: just as a nought follows nets, the club accepted the right to bare arms as a second amendment to the club constitution. All Village CC players may now roll up their sleeves with impuny. You heard it here first.

4. Elections of Club Officers

Captain: AEMcC by a country mile. Other nominees included the Welsh Love Dragon and Sillsy.

Treasurer: TJR by a wink and a smile. Other nominees included EGT, Peregrine and Sillsy.

Secretary: Navjot with idiomatic style. Unopposed.

Webmaster: Potty seeing off Sills, Caspar and Joe Botting.

Social Sec: Phil/Del double act.

Fixture Sec: Navjot by being prepared to do it.

Miami-Vice: The Morganucadon, beating Potty at conkers (with the constitution having been changed to accommodate this), having whittle down the list from MMJL, the A-Bomb, Morgs, Potty, Deano & Plimlott the Elongate.

5. Miscellaneous maters (Damon to highlight hilarious misspelling anon)

The Morganucadon agreed to take on the mantle of league secretary.

There was no other business.

AAP, Leicester

13 Jan 2006