Marketing Materials

Marketing Materials

and

Forms

Section I: Marketing Materials

This section contains materials for you to use while promoting your Cooperative Parenting and Divorce groups. Note that some pages have been personalized with example information; be sure to read each form and put in your own information where necessary. Personalized information is marked in red type. Authors require that their copyright be included on each form created.

Program Overview...... 4

Outline of the Eight Sessions...... 5

Referral Overview...... 7

Promotional Letter...... 8

Questions & Answers...... 9

Press Release...... 11

Active Parenting Website Promotion...... 13

Section 2: Forms

This section contains forms, memos, and assessments for you to use while promoting your Cooperative Parenting and Divorce group. Note that some pages have beenpersonalized with example information; be sure to read each form and put in your own information where necessary. Authors require that their copyright be included on each form created.

Sample Court Order...... 15

Description of Program (for Parents)...... 16

Letter to Parent...... 17

Program Expectations...... 18

Intake Form...... 19

Pre-Assessment Form...... 21

Completion Verification Memos...... 23

Post-Assessment and Program Evaluation...... 24

© 1998 Boyan and Termini.
Published by Active Parenting Publishers, 810-B Franklin Ct., Marietta, GA 30067 (800-825-0060).

Marketing Materials

COOPERATIVE PARENTING AND DIVORCE

Program Overview

Cooperative Parenting and Divorce is a video-based psychoeducational approach focusing on the enhancement of the child(ren)’s functioning within their family. The program addresses the relationship between separate households created as a result of divorce or family separation. It is designed to improve the quality of the parental relationship. The program is suited for those parents exhibiting mild to moderate levels of conflict. This stimulating and compassionate program can be implemented in eight sessions lasting two hours each.

The Cooperative Parenting and Divorce program benefits divorcing or divorced parents by:

 Assisting parents in shifting their role from former spouses to co-parents

 Educating parents regarding the impact of parental conflict on their child’s development

Helping parents identify their contribution to conflict while increasing impulse control

 Teaching parents anger management, communication and conflict resolution skills, and children’s issues in divorce

The Cooperative Parenting and Divorce program benefits children by:

 Reducing the child’s symptoms of stress as parental conflict decreases
 Diminishing the child’s sense of loyalty binds
 Creating a more relaxed home atmosphere allowing the child to adjust more effectively
 Teaching effective communication and conflict resolution skills as modeled by their parents
 Increasing the likelihood of keeping two active parents in the child’s life
 Ensuring the child’s safety through open parental communication

 Enhancing the child’s confidence and self-esteem by creating an optimal environment for growth

 Diminishing the likelihood of future relationship difficulties and divorce in the child’s future

 Reducing the possibility of adolescent drug and alcohol problems, teenage pregnancy, school drop-out rates, and crime associated with children of divorce

Program Format
Cooperative Parenting and Divorce explores the issues associated with divorce through a program that incorporates skill development, small and large group discussions, role plays, application and homework assignments. It offers specific, proven-effective activities that can be implemented easily and safely, while creating a supportive group environment. The program components consist of a Leader’s Guide, Parent’s Guide and video. It is the most extensive interactive resource to date examining the complex realities of divorce.
This thoughtful and practical program can be facilitated by mental health professionals, mediators, special masters, parenting coordinators and parent educators employed by private institutions, universities, social services agencies, hospitals, churches, schools and the court system.
For Information Contact: Jane Doe, XYZ Counseling Center, 555-555-1212 or
© 1998 Boyan and Termini

COOPERATIVE PARENTING AND DIVORCE
Outline of the Eight Sessions

Session One - Making the Commitment to Caring (Child-Focused or Out of Focus). Parents learn to recognize parental hostility and discover how conflict impacts their child’s development. Factors which influence a child’s adjustment to divorce are presented. The notion of “child-focused” versus “self-focused” is proposed and stressed throughout the program. Parents complete a “Commitment to Caring” agreement and are introduced to the eight steps of effective co-parenting.
Session Two - Allowing My Child to Love Both Parents (Plan for Peace or Tug of War). For the sake of their child, parents learn to view their former spouse from their child’s perspective. Parents work to identify the positive and valuable qualities of the child’s other parent. They learn to create two homes, minimize stress at transitions, and make time sharing a positive experience for their child. Parents determine the obvious and not so obvious ways they put their child in the middle of their conflict. They discover the influence of loyalty and the ways their children struggle to avoid a loyalty bind. The importance of allowing children access to their extended family is also addressed.
Session Three - Changing My Long Term Role (Letting Go or Holding On). Parents examine their attachment to their former spouse. They discover that their anger and bitterness keep them emotionally attached to one another in much the same was as their love once did. They identify their level of attachment and learn ways to let go physically and emotionally from their marital relationship. The grief process, forgiveness and the value of rituals are reviewed.
Session Four - Choosing My Personal Path (Make it Better or Keep it Bitter). Parents clarify their personal choices and identify a personal path. The term “realignment” is introduced to assist parents in creating a new role as co-parents. Obstacles to realignment are examined and the notion of “secondary gains,” “boundaries” and the “non-interference principle” are presented. Characteristics of a business relationship are taught as they apply to a co-parenting relationship. The STP-A technique is demonstrated. Parents realize that they are separate but equal partners in their role as co-parents regardless of their custody arrangement.
Session Five - Managing My Own Anger (Neither Fight nor Take Flight). Parents explore the emotion of anger. They determine what anger is, the internal and external signals of anger, constructive versus destructive anger, anger triggers, and the consequences of harboring anger. Parents recognize their distorted beliefs and how their negative assumptions create negative feelings toward the other parent. The Anger Connection (cognitive restructuring) is presented to teach parents how their thoughts create their feelings. Parents are taught to take responsibility for their actions rather than wait for their co-parent to change. In addition, they are exposed to a variety of strategies to manage their anger as well as their child’s anger.
© 1998 Boyan and Termini

Session Six - Taking Control of Conflict (Defuse or Light the Fuse). Parents examine the cycle of conflict using concepts of “fire prevention.” Barriers to effective conflict resolution are highlighted and techniques to overcome these barriers are practiced. They identify ways to defuse conflict for themselves and their child. Parents learn effective communication and listening skills. The advantages of effective communication between co-parents are stressed. Parents identify their contribution to the communication pattern and identify obstacles to successful interaction. Tips for dealing with unreasonable expectations and limit-setting techniques are taught and practiced.
Session Seven - Negotiating Agreement (All a Winner or Winner Take All). Problem-solving techniques and business relationship skills are examined from a divorced parent position. A seven step negotiation method is demonstrated. Parents discover that negotiating on behalf of their child means that if their child “wins” then everyone is the “winner.” Parents learn how to prepare for and organize business meetings with their co-parent. They develop constructive ways to address many typical divorce situations.
Session Eight - Co-Parenting Is Forever (Cooperation or Conflict). Parents review their commitment to care, the notion of “child-focused” versus “self-focused” as well as communication and negotiation skills. Parents are introduced to techniques to determine the validity of their concerns, the seriousness of their concerns, and practice how to address these issues in a productive manner. Co-parents are given the tools necessary to create agreements based on their child’s best interest. To formalize their joint commitment to their child’s future, co-parents participate in a “Co-Parenting Is Forever” ceremony at the end of the program.
© 1998 Boyan and Termini

COOPERATIVE PARENTING AND DIVORCE

Referral Overview

Program Overview:

Cooperative Parenting and Divorce is a psychoeducational program that explores the issues associated with divorce through a program that incorporates skill development, role plays, large and small group discussions and weekly homework assignments. The program is designed for divorcing or divorced parents demonstrating mild to moderate levels of parental conflict. It consists of eight 2-hour weekly sessions.

The goals of the program include:

• Assisting parents in shifting their role from former spouses to co-parents.

• Educating parents regarding the impact of parental conflict on their child’s development.

• Helping parents identify their contribution to conflict while increasing impulse control.

• Teaching parents anger management, communication and conflict-resolution skills and children’s issues in divorce.

Referral Process:

Parents can be referred by the judge, custody masters, attorneys, guardians ad litem, mediators, mental health professionals, and custody evaluators. Once it has been identified that the parents would benefit from the Cooperative Parenting and Divorce program, the Court can stipulate the parents’ participation in the program by issuing the Court Order designed for the program. Parents may also participate voluntarily.

Referral Indicators:

Based on professional experience, make a subjective assessment of the degree of conflict exhibited between the parents. Listed below are behaviors typically exhibited by parents experiencing mild to moderate levels of parental conflict. However, these same behaviors may be characteristic of parents exhibiting severe levels of parental conflict. To some degree, the level of conflict is measured by the type, frequency and number of behaviors occurring simultaneously. Parents exhibiting any of these behaviors should be ordered to participate in the Cooperative Parenting and Divorce group program.

• Continued litigation

• Moderate levels of distrust and anger

• Hostility toward one another

• Intermittent verbal aggression

• Child caught in loyalty binds • History of abuse

• Refusal to speak to one another regarding child-rearing

• Poor communication skills

• Ineffective problem-solving regarding child-rearing matters

• Difficulty controlling impulses and anger

• Frequent power struggles and fights to “win” rather than address the child’s real needs

• Threats to withhold child support payments, visitation, etc.

• Attempts to alienate the child from the other parent

• Inability to separate parental needs from the needs of their child

• Belief that the other parent is a “bad” parent

• Attempts to control the other parent

• Plays manipulative games such as screening phone calls, misinterpretation of court order

• Shares adult information with their child and openly denigrates the other parent in front of the child

COOPERATIVE PARENTING AND DIVORCE

Promotional Letter

Cooperative Parenting and Divorce ______

Dear Honorable Judge______,

As you know, during the divorce process parents struggle to restructure their family. Parenting skills are compromised, children’s needs are overlooked, and the parents’ personal issues become blurred with their children’s. Effective parenting during and after divorce is a skill difficult for most divorcing parents to navigate on their own. Their struggle has become our mission.

While the current four-hour seminars are useful, they are limited in their ability to address the crippling tension, implicit and explicit differences of opinion, and impaired communication and conflict-resolution skills characteristic of divorcing parents. It is time to take the “next step” and offer families in transition a thoughtful, extensively researched and practical program. Cooperative Parenting and Divorce is the clearest model yet for assisting divorcing parents with communication and conflict-resolution skills necessary for a healthy adjustment to a binuclear family.

Cooperative Parenting and Divorce is a video-based, psychoeducational approach focusing on the enhancement of the child’s functioning within the family. It is designed to improve the quality of the parental relationship by reducing conflict. It explores the issues associated with divorce through two different formats.

The program is designed for those parents exhibiting mild to moderate conflict. As you review the enclosed information highlighting Cooperative Parenting and Divorce, you will discover that this innovative program strives to put children first while creating promising solutions that focus on intervention, prevention and the reduction of parental conflict.

Once it is recognized that divorcing parents are in conflict, professionals should strongly recommend a program that will meet the needs of family. Since 1994 the Cooperative Parenting and Divorce program has been receiving referrals from judges, attorneys, custody evaluators, physicians, guardians ad litem, and social service agencies, as well as from the parents themselves. Many judges have mandated the Cooperative Parenting and Divorce program via court order.

Enclosed you will find some program materials highlighting the Cooperative Parenting and Divorce program. Feel free to contact me to request additional information. It is my hope that you will join me in my efforts to provide the most extensive and promising solutions to divorcing families.

Sincerely,

COOPERATIVE PARENTING AND DIVORCE

Questions & Answers

1. What is the cost to participate in a Cooperative Parenting and Divorce group?

The 8-week group fee is $______per parent, plus $______for the Parent’s Guide. This fee includes the complete 16-hour program. Some sliding-scale fees may be available.

2. How many parents are in the groups? Will my co-parent be in the same group?

Groups range from 8-20 parents. Co-parents generally attend the same group. Special circumstances may warrant a different placement. However, co-parents do not sit together, nor do they speak directly to each other until the last session.

3. How long are the Cooperative Parenting and Divorce groups?

A Cooperative Parenting and Divorce group consists of eight 2-hour classes for a total of 16 hours.

4. Under what circumstances should a parent be referred to the Cooperative Parenting and Divorce program?

The following situations may indicate placement in this program or a more intensive form of training. However, the frequency and/or severity of these indicators are the primary factors in determining placement.

a. When there are signs of mild alienation from one parent or access to the parent has been blocked in some manner.

b. When a child is being caught in the middle of the parents’ conflict.

c. When children are caught in a loyalty bind.

d. When one or both parents have demonstrated poor impulse control (not including physical aggression) and/or poor communication skills.

e. When one or both parents have a pattern of litigating as part of their ongoing conflict.

f. When joint physical custody has been recommended for parents without the necessary skills to make a shared custody arrangement work effectively.

g. When one or both parents attempt to control the other while using their child as a pawn.

5. Under what circumstances would a referral into this program be inappropriate?

In situations of family violence, criminal allegations, current substance abuse, severe parental alienation, intense conflict and some protective orders, parents are generally referred to a more intensive form of intervention. When either parent has extremely poor impulse control and/or will not respect limits, they are usually placed in more intense intervention. Likewise, if the family situation requires monitoring of any kind (drinking and driving, blocked access, etc.), then this program alone will not be effective. In complicated situations, a Parent Coordinator may be necessary.

6. Are parents ordered to participate in Cooperative Parenting and Divorce?

Parents may volunteer, they may participate in the program as part of the settlement agreement, or they may be ordered by their judge or guardian.

7. When is the best time to participate in a group: during or after the divorce?

Parents may be referred at any point in the divorce process, including years after their divorce or in the early stages of a custody evaluation. Research indicates that early intervention positively influences the recovery of the family while interrupting patterns associated with high-conflict divorce.

8. What are the criteria for successful completion of Cooperative Parenting and Divorce?

Parents must attend all eight sessions, participate in the activities, complete homework assignments complete a pre- and post-assessment as well as meet their financial obligation.

9. What are the steps to begin a Cooperative Parenting and Divorce program?

Parents may volunteer to participate in a Cooperative Parenting and Divorce group. Some parents are referred into the Cooperative Parenting and Divorce program by a judge, attorney, custody evaluator, guardian or psychotherapist. When parents are court-ordered, they are generally expected to contact the service provider within a specified time frame.

Marketing Materials

CONTENTS

Section I: Marketing Materials

Section 2: Forms