Looking for Love(Lesson 4 of 4)
Felt Need:Intimacy
Doctrine:Knowing God
The students will find intimacy by developing a real relationship with God.
John 10:10
What does God offer to those in a relationship with Him?
THE FELT NEED:Intimacy
- Social network challenge. The goal is to see who gets the most interactionof likes and/or comments by the end of the night on Facebook.
- We probably all have people on our Facebook friend list that we don’t really know. We want to be known and to know others with closeness and intimacy.
- Do you realize that the ultimate intimate relationship that we can have is with the Creator of the universe? He already knows all about you and loves you!
- Knowing that we cannot actually see God face to face, a relationship with Him can be better understood in the context of the friendships in our lives.
THE TRUTH: Knowing God
God Wants Your Friendship (John 10:10).
A.Jesus came to give us the full experience of a joy-filled life, one that is abundant or full of blessing.
- The sad fact is that we have become content with much less.
B.David wanted to know God as a friend. More than just a Facebook friendship. It was an uncontrollable desire that marked his life. (Psalm 42:1-2)
- David was friends with God in a way most of us would love to experience.
Friendships Grow Through Time Together (Psalm 46:10).
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- When people like each other, time together is not a chore, but a deep down heart desire. Time alone with God is necessary to know God intimately like a close friend. To really experience the power and reality of God, we must find times of stillness free from chaos and distractions.
Somewhere, somehow, we must find a way to make time with God. before that happens. Mark 6:30-32
- Take control of your technology.
While our technology is a standard part of our lives, it can also be one of our biggest obstacles to intimacy with God.
Student Interaction – Texting
In advance, plan to have one of your leader’s phone number on the screen. Tell the students that you need their input on solving a problem.
–Take a week off of Instagram, Vine, or Snapchat.
–Take a day off from all social media.
–For a week, do not use technology during meals.
–No social media in the morning until you have time with God.
- Prioritize your schedule.
Look for events that could be minimized or eliminated.
–Pick a show that you can replace with devotional time with God.
–No gaming until you have time with God each day.
–Don’t check the social apps until you have had prayer and reading time.
Friendships Thrive on Communication.
Prayer – me talking to God – Exodus 33:11
We cannot get to know someone if we don’t ever spend time talking.
We are told that God and Moses talked face to face like two close friends do.
- Max Lucado’s e-book: Pocket Prayers
Father, You are good.
I need help. Heal me and forgive me.
They need help.
Thank you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
- Bible Reading – God talking to me – Psalm 119:18
–The goal should be to read the Bible every day so God can give you direction, encouragement, and correction when you need it.
If time with God is something that you really want, you will find ways to make it a priority.
THE CONNECTION:We Can Sense Intimacy by Knowing and Being Known by Him.
- What makes friendships easy to develop?
- How do friendships best develop over time?
- What do you think makes having a friendship with God difficult?
THE DECISION:Will you make it a priority to develop a relationship with God?
A relationship with God takes some of the same commitments it does to develop friendship with people. Our closest friends are the people that we spend time with. We get to know their humor, their insecurities, their quirks, their strengths, and their dreams. Time with God reveals all of God’s great qualities to us. We will need to be dedicated to spending time in prayer and Bible reading. Are you willing to commit to that today?
Relationship: An emotional or other connection between two or more people and how they deal with each other.
- Have a leader prepared to receive text answers during the lesson.
- Make sufficient copies of the Commitment Card.
- A PowerPoint presentation for this module is available.
- Max Lucado’s e-book: Pocket Prayers
Charles R. Swindoll, Intimacy with the Almighty (Word Publishing, Inc. Dallas, Texas 1996), 26-35
Max Lucado, Pocket Prayers (Thomas Nelson Publishing, Nashville, TN 2014), 6-7
The Skinny on Prayer –
Most of us are relational junkies addicted to interaction through all our social apps. We love how easy it is to meet people from around the world while sitting on our couch playing a game. We have almost endless lists of followers and friends from all over the place. So we are going to begin today with a challenge.
Start the study with a social network challenge. The goal is to see who gets the most interactionof likes and/or comments by the end of the night on Facebook. They should post something like “I am trying to win a contest by getting the most likes to a post. Help me out!” Have them hashtag it with something that shows it’s from the meeting like maybe your ministry name (#summitteens). Give two minutes for them to post to their Facebook, then continue the lesson
At end of Lesson: It may also be easier to have the students bring their device to the front to show their “status” and the interactions they got. Be sure to announce who had the most.
In a few minutes we will find out who can get the most friends to respond to their request for attention. It can be amazing that from the room we find ourselves in, we can instantly connect with people around the globe in seconds. We have connected to people around our city, across the country, and even throughout the world. Before we get too excited about our long list of connections on social networks, we have to be honest. We probably all have people on our Facebook friend list that we don’t really know. Actually, they are not truly friends at all, they are just a friend of a friend somewhere, and we may not even remember what the connection is. These cyber friends are more like phantom friends that don’t know our biggest likes or darkest fears. We could stand next to them at Starbucks and never realize it.
There are times that we may actually feel like God is a phantom friend. We wonder if we are really connected, or if He is just a friend of one of our friends. You may feel so disconnected from Him that you have never even shared your biggest likes or darkest fears with Him. You have tried to figure it out before. You have gone to church, attended a Christian concert, and even tried to read the Bible for a full week. Nothing. Frustration sets in, and you stop trying. For some reason, knowing God remains a distant dream for some of us. Don’t give up. God wants to move you way beyond this type of phantom experience into the type of friendship your heart longs for. A relationship is an emotional or other connection between two or more people and how they deal with each other. The truth is that God wants a relationship with you.
We all want some real relationships. You know, the meaningful, intimate ones. The ones where the person knows what you like before you point it out in the store. They finish your sentences, and they know how you will respond in any situation. We want to be known and to know others with closeness and intimacy. We want that safety. We can’t have that type of relationship with everyone, but there are a select few in our lives that we can have that with. Do you realize that the ultimate intimate relationship that we can have is with the Creator of the universe? He already knows all about you and loves you! But now, it’s our turn to get to know Him and actually talk with Him. That’s how intimacy starts.
The social networks are great, but they don’t replace our need to be face to face with the people we like the most. Communicating through a mobile device is not as satisfying as being in the same room. Friendships can be living illustrations of how God longs for us to connect with Him. He created us for the opportunity to have that friendship with Him.
Knowing that we cannot actually see God face to face, a relationship with Him can be better understood in the context of the friendships in our lives. You can find true friendship with the Father because He is always inviting people to come to Him.
God Wants Your Friendship (John 10:10).
If we want to know what God offers for those in a friendship with Him, we only have to look to John 10:10. God has a plan for a great life for us. This is how John 10:10 explains it to us (read).
- Jesus came to give us the full experience of a joy-filled life, one that is abundant or full of blessing.
God so loved you that He sent His Son to pay for your sin and make a relationship with Him possible. The sad fact is that we have become content with much less. Just like Skyping or Facebooking once in a while is not as satisfying as being with someone, we should not be content with a superficial religious experience in talking about our relationship with God.
Listen to Psalm 42:1-2 (read). Those are the words of a person who was tired of superficial relationships.
- David wanted to know God as a friend—not just a celebrity from a distance.
In today’s world, we would say that he wanted more than just a Facebook friendship with God. He had a deep longing in his heart to know his Creator in the trueness of friendship. It was an uncontrollable desire that marked his life. David was friends with God in a way most of us would love to experience. Anyone who wants to can find true friendship with the Father.
Friendships Grow Through Time Together (Psalm 46:10).
Friendships need time together to be healthy. When people like each other, time together is not a chore, but a deep down heart desire. People will arrange their schedules, take a day off, and scheme creative ways just to make time to be with that person. It’s called relationship. In a similar way, we are all created with a desire in our heart for connection with God. There is a verse in which God declares His desire for us to know Him like this. (Read Psalm 46:10.) Time alone with God is necessary to know God intimately like a close friend. If you were in a dating relationship, and the other person never wanted to be together, you would have good reason to doubt whether they truly liked you or not. While relationships all need some moments of quietness, everything in our culture opposes these moments. To really experience the power and reality of God, we must find times of stillness free from chaos and distractions.
The story we find in Mark 6 gives us a peek into the importance of stillness in God’s presence. (Read Mark 6:30-32.) The day was crazy with the disciples moving from one event to the next with crowds of people all around. They wore themselves out with good activity, but it was getting so chaotic that there was no time for meaningful connections with Jesus. Watching out for the well-being of His men, Jesus brought them out to a secluded place to relax together. You probably understand what it’s like to get overly busy and soaked in social interactions. Sometimes it wears you out, and you get irritable. You just want quietness and to be left alone. When we get to this point, we are too tired and stressed for time in the presence of God. Somewhere, somehow, we must find a way to make time with God before that happens. To find true friendship with the Father you will need to do some practical things.
- Take control of your technology.
We are looking for some practical ideas of how we can minimize our consumption of technology in order to make more time to meet with God. There is nothing wrong with social media, but if we are so distracted by it that we don’t have time to do our quiet time to hear from God or spend time talking with Him, then it has grown to be a negative distraction in our life and not an asset.
The amount of time we spend looking at our phones, computers, game systems, or tablets might amaze us. While our technology is a standard part of our lives, it can also be one of our biggest obstacles to intimacy with God. There is so much time consumed with our faces glowing in the backlight of our phone that we may discover no time is left to read our Bible, pray, or reach out to someone that is hurting. We need to be in control of our technology rather than it controlling us and our time. We need to be flexible and creative in finding ways to keep this time in check.
Student Interaction – Texting
In advance plan to have one of your leader’s phone number on the screen. Tell the students that you need their input on solving a problem.
“I want to come up with a list of suggestions that you can give me of ways to keep technology under control so you can have more of a focus on your relationship with God. Send any suggestions you might have to the number on the screen.”
Use the following ideas to get started and have the leader whose phone is receiving the suggestions write them on a whiteboard or share them as they come in. You can use the following ideas to get things started.
These ideas don’t need to be permanent solutions, but ideas we can try to make more time in our day. Ideas could be something like:
–Take a week off of Instagram, Vine, or Snapchat.
–Take a day off from all social media.
–For a week, do not use technology during meals.
–Choose to not do social media in the morning until you have time with God.
When we long for time with God like David did, some changes seem less extreme to us. Listen to some of the ideas that you guys have for making this happen.
- Prioritize your schedule.
Consider your daily and weekly schedule. Even if you’re not super focused on how you use your time, look for events that could be minimized or eliminated. Just removing one thing out of your day could make more time for what should be the most important activities in your life.
–If you are a TV addict, pick a show that you can replace with devotional time with God.
–If you play games deep into the night, plan a time with God each night before gaming begins.
–Don’t allow yourself to check the social apps in the morning until you have had prayer and reading time.
While these decisions to de-clutter our busy lives are difficult and seemingly extreme in our current culture, they are essential considerations if we plan to grow close to God as a friend. If we don’t, we will continue to find closeness to God a frustrating wish. Remember, you can find true friendship with the Father, but it may mean making some of these tough choices.
Friendships Thrive on Communication (Exodus 33:11).
Prayer – me talking to God
In all friendships there is a desire to be together. Whether there is an event that has great meaning, or just taking a walk together, friends enjoy the company of one another. We cannot get to know someone if we don’t ever spend time talking. In the same way, God desires to spend time with us.
Prayer is how we talk to God and reading our Bible is how God clearly communicates to us. Moses is an example of a believer that understood the importance of this time of prayer. Moses had an interesting experience in praying to God. (Read Exodus 33:11.) We are told that God and Moses talked face to face, like two close friends do. God wants this with us more than we can imagine. It is true that God really wants to be your friend.
There are people that have a celebrity follow them on Twitter, and it’s like a badge of honor. The celebrity does not know them, and they follow back all the people that follow them. That was not the experience of Moses. Moses and God spent time chatting like we would with friends.
- In Max Lucado’s e-book: Pocket Prayers, he suggests that you consider spending four minutes in prayer each day covering these easy-to-remember elements:
Father, You are good.
I need help. Heal me and forgive me.
They need help.
Thank you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
- Bible Reading – God talking to me
The Bible is how God talks to us. In it we can find wisdom, counsel, guidance, protection, and the character of God. Everything we know about God is from the Word of God. If God never gave us His Word, we would know nothing about Him or His love for us.
–The goal should be to read the Bible every day so God can give us direction, encouragement, and correction when we need it. If there is little desire to read God’s Word, we should start asking God to put a passion to read it in our heart. The psalmist prayed this very thing in Psalm 119:18 (read). This prayer is so basic and so honest.