THE POWER OF CONFRONTATION

By Richard Flint

For years I have taught that anyone who works with people (at any level) needs to develop and strengthen 5 Skills:

Listening – learning to hear with your ears and your eyes

Communication – learning to ask the right question to gather the right information

Confrontation – Learning to bring issues to the table, resolve them before they take on a life of their own and hold people accountable for their behavior.

Delegation – Learning to develop others so you don’t have to be the only one capable of doing things.

Decision Making – Learning to close the door to the events of yesterday by establishing a pathway to a better tomorrow.

HEAR ME!! THERE IS POWER IN CONFRONTATION!!! IT IS THE SKILL THAT BRINGS ABOUT RESOLUTION.

What’s The Power I amtalkingabout?

Puts the emphasis on finding a resolution

Opens up dialogue

Won’t give confusion control

Extracts all the facts

Refuses to let things just hang on

The Power of Confrontation is finding a resolution so you are free to move forward.

Term to Understand:

Confrontation:

The process of finding a common pathway of mental and emotional agreement that allows people to work together with a common purpose, common agenda and common commitment.

Criticism:

The eruption of anger toward another you can’t contain, so you lash out at them through talking to others about your anger toward them.

OR

Beating you down with a message about what you have done wrong without bringing any positive energy to getting things resolved.

Conflict:

The lack of agreement that increases the emotional collisions

Resolution:

The point of agreement that allows us to walk together united in purpose, agenda and commitment.

These are important understandings. If you don’t understand, confrontation is not criticism and criticism is not confrontation! The back side to this is the things you don’t confront end up being the things you criticize.

WE HAVE TO SEE CONFRONTATION IS A POSTIVE TOOL TO BE USED TO KEEP CONFRONTATION BECOMING CRITICISM!!!

ANOTHER IMPORTANT TRUTH YOU MUST UNDERSTAND!

Issues create the need for the Confrontation, but the confrontation is really about one’s behavior!

There are 4 Questions I want to put in front of you and then, answer each of them. I believe these 4 Questions can help us understand much of the confusion, fear and misunderstanding about Confrontation. Here are the 4 Questions:

Why Do People Fear Confrontation?

What Makes Confrontation Necessary?

What Happens If You Don’t Confront?

What Is The Process For Confrontation?

Question #1: Why Do People Fear Confrontation?

It’s not that people don’t understand the need for Confrontation as much as it is the Fear they have about confronting someone. What creates this fear?

Facing issues is not something they are comfortable doing.

Emotions they have stored and each time they think about confronting their emotions rise to the front.

Allows for the truth to come out and what if that truth

Reveals what they have done.

Results might mean people get hurt.

Question #2: What Happens If You Don’t Confront The Behavior?

Confusion and emotional collisions take over the environment.

Others get drawn into a battle they should never have to fight.

Negative increases and begins to shape the spirit of the people.

Fear of “what if” increases.

Reaction fuels the emotional fire.

Opinions take over as the foundation for conversations.

Now there are deep emotional divisions.

.

The good people will get fed up and leave.

Question #3: What Makes Confrontation Necessary?

Conflict increases without it

Organization gets side tracked with the internal confusion.

No resolution will be found without it.

Fatigue sits in and people get emotionally exhausted.

Respect for the leader diminishes.

Opinions take over the conversations.

Now the conflict spills over to the customers.

Things become dysfunctional.

Question #4: What Is The Process For Confrontation?

Concern is expressed.

Open the conversation with calmness.

.

No side tracking.

Face what caused the conflict.

Re-enforce this is about resolving the situation.

Options put in place.

No more conversations will be had.

There is agreement from all on what will be done.

Confrontation:

The process of finding a common pathway of mental and emotional agreement that allows people to work together with a common purpose, common agenda and common commitment.

CLOSING THOUGHT:

Anything you don’t confront, you validate!!!!