Lexington First United Methodist Church

Service of Christian Marriage

Marriage is one of the most sacred vows an individual can take. It is a commitment to blend your life with the life of another person in such a way that both husband and wife live richer, fuller lives.

Choosing a religious wedding ceremony deepens the commitment by the intentional inclusion of God’s presence and Christ’s guidance in your married life. It is a public affirmation of faith stating that the home which is being established will be founded on the teachings of Christ and nurtured through involvement in Christ’s church.

Jesus’ first miracle was changing water into sweet wine at the wedding feast at Cana (John 2: 1-11). This Gospel story reflects the unique blessings of a Christian marriage. A holy marriage is not measured by how much two people can give, but by how much they can receive from God. A marriage deepens as God’s forgiveness, patience, love, and grace are poured out like sweet wine: rich blessings beyond those we can give ourselves.

As you and your pastor work together on your service, remember that a Christian wedding ceremony is a service of worship. The limits of that is appropriate for worship are set by the pastor. A Christian wedding is not a performance or display of pageantry. It is a serious, life-changing event that first and foremost should reflect your faith in God. We come before God seeking God’s blessing on this marriage and covenanting with God to establish a home whose foundation is the Christian faith. Your home and life together will be an example of Christ’s teachings of love for each other, for any children you may have, and the world.

If this is not your understanding of what your wedding service should be, then you will need to talk with the pastor about other options.

WEDDING POLICY

Lexington First United Methodist Church

So…you are going to get married. Now what?

You will have many questions in the excitement of planning for your wedding. This information is intended to give you necessary information to make this occasion a meaningful one and assure that the wedding and surrounding tasks run smoothly.

SCHEDULING YOUR WEDDING WITH THE CHURCH

All weddings must be scheduled with the pastor. The pastor will then arrange for counseling with the couple. Do not announce the time or place of the wedding until you have confirmed the schedule with the pastor.

Wedding will be performed by the pastor appointed to the Lexington United Methodist Church. If the bride or groom would like to have a relative or close friend who is an ordained pastor assist with or perform the ceremony, you must discuss this with the pastor serving the Lexington church during an early meeting. Please do not invite a guest pastor to perform your wedding before discussing this with the pastor serving the church in which the wedding will be held. An invitationto a guest pastor must come from the current pastor. It is not customary in the United Methodist Church for former pastors to return to do weddings.

MEETING WITH THE PASTOR

You will need to meet with the pastor on more than one occasion. The number of meetings will be agreed upon by the couple and the pastor. This is important for several reasons. First, it will give the couple and the pastor an opportunity to get to know one another, and this will make for a much better wedding ceremony. Second, it will enable you to discuss issues that will play a central role in your marriage—common values, hopes and dreams, children, religious background and spiritual convictions. Third, it will enable you to talk about marriage in general and your wedding service in particular. Please call the First United Methodist Church at (308) 324-2397 to schedule your appointment with the pastor three to five months before your wedding date.

INVITATIONS

When ordering invitations, the suggested form for the name and address of the church you are being married in is:

First United Methodist Church

201 E. 8th Street

Lexington NE 68850

SANCTUARY

Since the church is a place of worship, there will be obvious signs and symbols of Christianity displayed. Nothing may be removed from the sanctuary without permission of the pastor. If your wedding is planned at Easter and Christmas time, please be advised that there will be seasonal decorations in use in the sanctuary that may remain in the sanctuary during the wedding service, unless the pastor give permission to remove them.

CANDLES AND CANDELABRA

The church provides altar candles, and candelabras. The wedding couple is responsible for providing all other candles used during the service. Candles used in the candelabras must be dripless.

The Unity Candle is optional. The church can provide the stand for the couple, but the couple must provide the candles. One larger pillar candle represents your union in marriage. Two smaller candles represent the bride and the groom. The latter may be lit from the altar candles or candelabra, if used, just prior to the lighting of the unity candle or they may be lit at the beginning of the service and may be used to light the large candle. If the two smaller candles are lit at the beginning of the service they remain lit through the entire service, representing that you remain two individuals united into one marriage and home.

FLOWERS & DECORATIONS

Please check with the church early in the week of your wedding to schedule the time for decorating the sanctuary for your wedding. Arrangements for floral decorations should be made with the florist of your choice. Please inform your florist or persons assisting in decorating that it is not permissible to force nails or tacks into the pews, walls, tables, or other woodwork in the church. The use of hurricane lamps that are attached to the pes are not allowed due to the narrow aisles in the sanctuary. Floral arrangements or other decorations at the end of the pews may be attached only with ribbon or special tape supplied by the florist.

RICE, BIRSEED, CONFETTI, ETC

Suggested items for outside the church are bubbles, which are kinder to our environment. We ask that you and your guests respect the church as a sacred place of worship by NOT scattering rice, confetti, birdseed, tissue flowers, “popper” streamers, or other objects inside or outside the church building. It is hard to remove such items from carpets and grass. Please advise your family, wedding party and guests of this requirement. If such items are used an additional custodial fee will be charged for cleanup.

PHOTOGRAPHS

Pictures are important to families as years pass and memories are recalled. Family and friends are asked to respect the professional photographer’s time with the wedding party before and after the wedding. During the ceremony, family and friends may take pictures using “available light only” in the sanctuary. Flash pictures may interfere with the professional photographer’s work; therefore, flash pictures during the ceremony is strongly discouraged. The pastor reserves the right to refuse photography or video recording that diminishes the meaning of the service of marriage. The wedding couple is responsible for clarifying these guidelines with their photographer and family. The following statement printed in the wedding bulletin is most helpful: “We request no flash pictures being taken during the service. Thank you.”

ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, RECREATIONAL DRUGS, PROFANE LANGUAGE

No alcoholic beverages ore recreational drugs are allowed on the premises (church and church grounds). Members of the wedding party are strictly enjoined that under no circumstances may any one of them come to the wedding under the influence of alcohol or drugs. The pastor has complete authority to dismiss any member of the wedding party from the service, or cancel the wedding, if a person or persons are determined to be under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Remember---the rehearsal and the wedding are religious ceremonies. Please inform all members of the wedding party to avoid this embarrassment for themselves and for the couple getting married, whose wedding day should be a joy-filled celebration

The Lexington First United Methodist Church is a tobacco free building, and smoking is not permitted anywhere inside the building. Instructions will be given during rehearsal as to where smokers may go to smile outside the building. Please do no dispose of cigarette butts in the church yard or on the sidewalks.

The church is a sacred place of worship. We expect that members of the wedding party, family, and friends will not use profane (abusive or vulgar) language in the church.

USHERS

At least one usher for every 75 guests is recommended. If groomsmen serve as ushers, we recommend having at least two users who are not groomsmen so that they may seat late arrivals when the groomsmen are lining up for the processional. It is very important for ushers to be at the rehearsal.

REHEARSAL

The rehearsal will generally take place the day/evening before the wedding. A time will need to be scheduled well in advance of the wedding. Plan on at least 1 ½ hours for the rehearsal. All persons involved in the wedding party are urged to attend. The ceremony will be rehearsed verbally and with at least one full walk-through. If a second walk-through is needed or desired, that may be done.

MUSIC

Since a wedding is religious service, the music, whether instrumental or vocal, should have a religious significance. If a secular or contemporary song is used, be sure that the lyrics arein keeping with the meaning of a Christian marriage. The words and music should express joy, celebration, dignity, and reverence, in an attitude of asking God’s blessing upon your marriage. Should you have any questions about the appropriateness of the music please discuss this with the pastor.

You may provide your won vocalist(s), pianist, organist, or guitarist. If you chose to have the church organist play, it is the couple’s responsibility to contact her/him. It is the vocalist(s) responsibility to contact whoever is playing the organ/piano as soon as possible to set up dates for singing rehearsals, if needed. Vocalists may also select their own accompanist. The wedding couple should provide the name and phone number of the pianist/organist to the vocalist(s), if needed.

A suggested fee is listed on the fee page, or the organist may have a different fee. If you choose to use prerecorded music, the selections need to be with the Tech. team at least 24 hours before the rehearsal.

THE WEDDING SERVICE

We offer a Christian service in which the wedding vows are made in a context of worship, prayer and thanksgiving. A typical order of worship for your wedding bulletin might look like the following:

Officiating Pastor’s name)

Prelude

Seating of the Family

Lighting of the Candles (may also be done prior to seating of the family)

Processional of the Wedding Party

Greeting

Declaration of Intentions

Prayer

Solo (if one is selected)

Scripture

Wedding Message

Prayer

Exchange of Vows

Blessing and Exchange of Rings

Lighting of the Unity Candle (optional) [Solo or song may be planed during this time]

Blessing of the couple

The Lord’s Prayer (optional)

Declaration of Marriage

Recessional

This is a basic outline of a wedding ceremony, and each couple in invited to work with the pastor

to personalize their service.

MARRIAGE LICENSE

Now the “catch” to all of this ceremony. The State of Nebraska requires a license for marriage and that the couple fulfill the legal formalities required by the state. A license may be obtained in any county of the state and is good for one year from the date of issue and is valid anywhere in the State of Nebraska. Both parties must be 19 years of age or at least 178-18 years of age with notarized parental consent.

If one or both parties to be married are divorced, the wedding cannot be performed until six months after the final court date of the divorce decree(s) in the State of Nebraska. A copy of the final divorce decree will be required during your meeting with the pastor.

You are not married until the license is signed. The pastor requests that you bring the wedding license with you to the rehearsal so that someone doesn’t forget it on the wedding day. The legal license will already be signed by a state or county clerk and the couple. The most convenient time to have two witnesses and the pastor sign the license is immediately follow the service, at the church. A keep-sake license is usually provided by the county or state and will also be signed by the witnesses and the pastor. The legal license will remain in possession of the pastor who will mail it to the State of Nebraska either on the day of the wedding or the day after.

WEDDING FEES

Fees are due one week prior to the rehearsal. NO EXCEPTIONS will be allowed. Please pay either in the form of a check or cash. Checks may be made out individually as follows:

  • To the Pastor
  • To the Custodian
  • +To the Sound/Media Technician
  • +To the organist/musician
  • +To vocalists

Check may be mailed to the church (PO Box 276 Lexington NE 68850) or dropped by the church office.

Member fees (either the bride or groom-to-be or a parent of the bride or groom-to-be must be a member).

  • Day of the wedding – rooms in the church that will be allowed for usage by the wedding party will be shown to the party by the pastor of designee. Usage of the building must be scheduled through the church office: Fee: $100
  • Wedding rehearsal meal served at the church: Fee: $35
  • Reception at the church:Fee: $50
  • Custodian: Fee: $50
  • Refundable deposit for dishes, silver service or crystal: Fee: $50
  • Church organist: Fee: $100
  • Sound/Media Technician: Fee: $100
  • Pastor: Fee: $125

Non-Member Fees

  • Day of the wedding – rooms in the church that will be allowed for usage by the wedding party will be shown to the party by the pastor or designee. Usage of the building must be scheduled through the church office: Fee: $150
  • Wedding rehearsal meal served at the church: Fee: $55
  • Reception at the church: Fee: $75
  • Custodian: Fee: $50
  • Refundable deposit for dishes, silver service or crystal: Fee: $50
  • Church organist: Fee: $100
  • Sound/Media Technician: Fee: $100
  • Pastor: Fee: $125

______

*First United Methodist Church will expect reimbursement from members and non-members for any broken, damaged or missing items, including but not limited to: dishes, religious or other articles, electronic equipment, soiled carpet or tablecloths, and structural damage to the church building. The Board of Trustees will assess a value of the items to be reimbursed.

AFTER THE WEDDING AND RECEPTION

If the wedding is held on a Saturday, all decorations must be removed and tables and chairs must be returned to their original position, and premises cleaned and vacated by 10:00 p.m. We request that all decorations be removed from the church prior to leaving for the wedding reception unless permission from the pastor has been obtained to have the decorations removed at a later time. If the reception is held in the church the decorations should be removed immediately following the reception on the day of the wedding. This policy is necessary because the church needs to be cleaned and available for others to use and be ready for Sunday worship. It also allows for the custodian to clean the church in a timely fashion. Thank you for attention to these details.

HOST COUPLE AND PERSONAL ATTENDANTS

A host couple at the wedding is strongly encouraged. One or two host couples are often selected to provide hospitality at the wedding and rehearsal. They may provide food for the wedding party during the hours before the service and are responsible for cleaning up any food items brought in and properly disposing of garbage produced by the wedding party. They may also be responsible for making sure all decorations are removed from the church immediately following the service, and ensure that the guest book and other designated items (such as the keepsake wedding license) get transported to the reception. A host couple may be a favorite Aunt and Uncle, friends of your parents, and so on.

Personal attendants are required. These persons are responsible for gathering and removing all personal items of the bride and groom from the church after the wedding, as well as attending to the needs of the wedding couple (such as running errands, helping with dressing for the wedding, etc.) during the preparation time before the wedding. If there is no host couple at the wedding, the personal attendants are also responsible for cleaning up food items brought in and properly disposing of garbage produced by the wedding party.

Revised March 2016

1