Letting Go Of Limiting Beliefs, Negative Labels and Old Influences
This is about letting go of any limiting beliefs, negative labels, and old influences that are holding you back, not serving you well, or keeping you from living a happy, healthy, and fulfilled life.
There are two ways you can let go of these old beliefs and thought patterns…
- You can release them - simply let them go.
- You can replace them - reframe them into an interpretation that works for you, not against you.
Sometimes letting go of things in our Story can happen in an instant. We make a decision that enough is enough and we walk away - mentally, emotionally or physically, depending on the situation.
Other times, the process takes longer. It's something where we have to make the decision to release or replace those beliefs, over and over.
It's hard to know when the process will be short and when it will take longer. Often it takes longer when we've had a belief or thought pattern for a long time - when it's become a mental habit.
In these situations, it's important to be patient with ourselves and stay committed to the process. Our society likes things to happen instantly but personal change isn't always like that. Developing new pathways in the brain takes time.
The good news is that the new field of neuroscience shows that our brains are "plastic" and will build new thinking patterns with time and effort.
EXERCISES
EXERCISE 1 - Releasing Unhelpful Thoughts, Beliefs, & Emotions
This is where you take those unhelpful experiences and beliefs and release them - unhook from them and let them go.
Particular events, experiences and people may have shaped you but they don't have to have a hold over you. You can make a conscious decision and choose to free yourself from the ties to it. It sounds easier than it is, but this deliberate choice is always the first step.
Things that can be good candidates for release are the labels, belief and influences that were untrue or unfair, and those that are no longer relevant to your current life.
Please go back to the lists you've made before and have a look at the events, experiences, people, beliefs, labels and old influences you've identified.
Are there any that are affecting your wellbeing in some way?
Of these, which do you feel that you can simply let go of and mentally/emotionally unhook from?
Which of these could you forgive? (Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing, it's about no longer holding emotion against that person or situation.)
Then consider what process will work best for you to let it go…
Do you need to make a simple decision to move on?
Do you need to write a letter (and then decide whether or not to send it)?
Do you need to perform a little ritual of some kind to help you move on?
Make some notes on what you can let go of and what process feels best for you.
Then take the time to do it. You won't get the full benefit without taking that last step.
EXERCISE 2 - Replacing Unhelpful Thoughts, Beliefs, & Emotions
You'll now be looking at the experiences and situations on your list that you've had negative interpretations and beliefs about. And you'll have the opportunity to replace them with a positive interpretations - the benefits you've gained from that experience.
One of the keys to building an optimistic and positive outlook in life is the ability to look at two sides of a situation - the negative and the positive, the bad and the good, what's strong, as well as what's wrong.
Often we have a bias towards noticing and focusing on negatives. This is natural as our brains are wired to look for threats to our safety. There are other times when we can be biased towards the positive and not take risks into account eg "She'll be right, mate".
The key is to be able to look at things with a balanced viewpoint - both negative AND positive.
This can be difficult when an experience has been particularly painful and distressing. The good news is that research now tells us that it's possible to experience positive personal change after trauma, adversity or other challenges (known as Post Traumatic Growth). A key process in this is focusing on the positives you've gained from the experience.
Please go back to the lists you've made before. For each entry you noted as having negative effects on you, please look at it from a different angle and ask yourself these questions…
What positives has that experience given your life?
It may have resulted in a new living location, new friends, more motivation to achieve, appreciation for good relationships, determination to have a stable career, etc.
What positive personal characteristics have you gained from it?
It may have made you more self-aware, stronger, wiser, kinder, more generous, a good listener, a trustworthy friend, more resourceful, etc.
What positive benefits could this give you in the future, if you use it in empowering rather than disempowering ways?
It may give you motivation to do new things, to help others, to be kinder, a better listener, have more empathy, etc.
Please write down your answers below, or on a fresh piece of paper.