Leader’s Discussion Guide-- Sexuality

sdmiusacanada.org

Churchof theNazarene

Sexuality

NotetoLeader:Itis verylikelythatsomeinyourgrouphaveengagedinpremaritalsex or maybe currently livingwithsomeoneoutsideof marriage.Thepresentationof this materialmaybeverysensitive tosome.PraythatGodwillguideyouasyoupresentbiblicaltruthinlove.

SessionGoal:Tohelpparticipantsgainabiblicalunderstandingofsexuality, exploreChristian standardsfor sexualrelationships,and beencouraged to liveaccording to God’s perspectiveand plan.

AreYouReady?

Pray for God’s directionas youprepare for thesession.Pray thatparticipants willbe opento

God’s truthand beready toapply itto their lives.

Readtheentire leader’s guide andbackground material(availableat Mor2Lif.nazarene.org)to getanoverviewofthesession.

Viewthevideo,Sexuality.

BepreparedtoshowtheMor2Lifvideo,Sexuality.

Choose oneor twoquestions fromthe“SoWhat?” sectionasafollow-uptothevideoandanintro tothestudy.

DeterminewhichOption youwilluse fromthe“NowWhat?” sectionof thesession.

Bepreparedor enlistseveralpeopletoread:Genesis 2:23-24;Matthew19:4-6;Ephesians

5:21-33;Psalm139:13-16;Romans13:12-14;1John1:9.

Preparecopiesof theparticipant outline,Sexuality.

Introduction

The Bibleis fullof wonderfullovestories: AbramandSarai,IsaacandRebekah,JacobandRachel.The love-at-first-sightqualityof Ruthwouldmakeabest-sellerintheromancegenre.Andwhocanreadthe portrayalof sexualloveinSongof Solomon andnotsensethebeauty,respect,andsanctityof the physicalandspiritualunionmirroredinit?Sadly,SatanhastakensomethinggoodGodcreatedand twisteditintosomethingfarless thanwasintended.Thinkaboutthefollowingquestionsasyouprepare toleadthesession.

Whatdoesitmeantobea sexualbeing?

Howdoesbeingasexualbeinginfluencemythoughtsandactions?

Whatinfluencehavemovies,books,TVprograms,andsocialpracticeshadonmy conceptof sex andsexuality?

What does God’s Word have tosayaboutsexualityandsexualrelationships?

SoWhat?

Viewthevideo,Sexuality.Chooseoneor moreof thefollowingquestionsthatbestfitsthe needs/dynamicsof yourgroup.

Whichof thecharactersdoyoumostidentifywithinthevideo?

Howdidyourparentsaffectyourviewof sex asahealthy,God-ordainedrelationship?Were yourparentspositiveor negativerole modelsforyou?

Christinajokesthatfairytales shouldbebanned.Doyouthinkwomentodaystillexpecttofind

Prince Charmingandto livehappilyeverafter?

Whatwasthemostvaluableimpressionyoureceivedbywatchingthis video?

WhatDoestheBibleSay?

Say,God’s Word canhelp guide us as weseektohonor God withour wholebeing- spirituallyand physically.Inthis session,wewillexploresomepassagesthatrevealGod’s viewof humansexuality in andoutof marriage.

Biblical View of Sex

Thestoryof creationinGenesis1:27comes toaclimaxastheauthorrecordsthefinal actsof creation“in

theimageof God...maleand femalehe createdthem” and ends withthedeclarationthat God “looked over allhehadmade,and hesawthat itwas very good!” (Genesis 1:31, NLT).Thepointis that bothmaleandfemale,withalltheir similaritiesanddifferences,arecreatedintheimageof Godand deemed “good.”

Inthemorespecificaccountfound inGenesis 2, wefind thewords,“Itis notgood forthemanto be alone” (Genesis 2:18, NLT).TheLord then causes Adamto fallinto adeepsleep,takes oneof his ribs, andfashionsitinto acompanion“custom-madeforfellowship”.Thechapter concludes withGod’s declaration:“theywillbecomeoneflesh” (v.24) implying“boththeclosenessand thepermanenceof the relationship” (Morris, pp. 16-17).Theimportanceof this relationshipis further underscored byGod’s command toplaceitaboveother relationships (such as father andmother). Andfinally,God’s

endorsementof this specialrelationshipis sealedwiththewords,“Themanandhis wife werebothnaked,

and theyfelt noshame”(v. 25).

Thisverseenvisionsamarriagecharacterizedbycompleteopennessandtrust.Sucharelationship can neverbeone-sided.Itis thepictureofbothpartnersplacingthemselves—emotionally,spiritually, physically,andintellectually—inthehandsof theotherintheconfidencethattheywillnotbe betrayed or hurt.(Morris,p.17)

Reador asksomeoneto readGenesis 2:23-24and Jesus’words recorded inMatthew19:4-6.

What do youthinkismeant by “nolonger twobutone”?

Howdoyouinterpretthestatements: “leaving father andmother”and “joined towife”?

Consider howlovingGodis tohavecreatedhumanswiththecapacityforpleasurein intimacy.Notonly is sex good,but it is theCreator’s planfromthebeginning. For an“up-close andpersonal”lookat the physicallove Godhasordainedfor marriage,challengeparticipantstoreadoneor moreof thelove poemsfoundinSongof Songsthis week.

Biblical View of Marriage

Reador havesomeoneread,Ephesians5:21-33.

Say,Paul’swritingsinEphesians5talkaboutthekindof mutualloveGodintendsforhealthymarital relationships.God’s planinmarriage begins withawillingnessonthepart of eachperson to bemutually submissive(v.21).

Describe what youthinkitmeans to“submittooneanother out of reverencefor Christ.”

Howdo youinterpret thewife’s responsibility inlightof thewords “as to theLord”?

Howdo youinterpret theteachingregarding thehusband’s responsibility inlightof “just as Christ

lovedthechurchandgavehimself upforher”(v.25)?

Paulis clearlyteachingthattheselfless submissionof bothwifeandhusbandforthebenefitof their spousecanresultinamarvelous,reciprocatingrelationshipthatmirrorstheintimacybetweenChrist and theChurch.

MySelf View Vs God’s View of Me

Reador havesomeonereadPsalm139:13-16.

Say,ThisPsalmmakes itvery clear that God values His humancreation;weare“fearfullyand wonderfullymade.” Weareeacha wonderfultestimonyof God the Creator.

Manywomenhaveadifficulttimeseeingthemselvesassexually attractive.Reasonsforthis unhealthyself esteemincludeexploitationandthedistortedmannerinwhichadvertisersandsecularmarketersportray womeninthemediaandthesubtleandnot-so-subtlemessagesfromtheentertainmentindustrythat relationshipandsex is synonymous.Throwinto themixthereallifefactors—weightgain,aging,lackof timeand energy at certainphases of a woman’s life—andonandonthenegativevoicesgrowlouder.It is no wonderconceptsof self-esteem,sexuality, wholeness,andevenworthinesscangetconvoluted.

Inthevideo,Jenniferfeels theburdenof changingroles anddiminishingself-worthinhowsheviewsher bodyafterhavingababyandherrelationshipwithherspouse.

Howdothedifferentroles wehaveaffectourviewof sex?

If youwere coachingayoungmotherlikeher,whatwouldyoudotoencourageher?

Whatkindof advicewouldyougivetohelpherrecoverapersonalsenseofattractivenessand achievea balancebetweenherroles of wifeandmother?

HowDoesThisAffectMyLife?

Issuesof sex andphysicalrelationships alsorelatetosingle women.Thechurchpromotespurityand stronglyadvocatesabstinenceoutsideof marriage.However,blastingloudlyfromTV, movies,music, printedmaterials,theinternet—nearlyeverywhere—aremessagesthatruncontrarytothis biblical worldview.Ithasbecomealltooeasytobuyinto theliethatcasualsexualis expected,“boys willbe boys,andthatsex outsidemarriageisthenormfor “consenting adults.”

Whatmessagesdoyou hearaboutrelationships frommedia?

Contemplatetherealityand/ordistortionof thesemessages. Reador havesomeonereadRomans13:12-14.

Say,Inthevideo,Tiffanypointsoutthedifficultyofresisting herownpersonaldesiresandpressurefrom aguyinarelationshiptoengageincasualsex. Ittouchesonakey element—settingandkeeping boundaries.

Whatinstructionsaboutboundariesdotheseversesprovide?

Whattruthdoesthispassage(v.14)offerforhelpingtoset boundaries?

What aresomeof theboundaries that maintainthespiritual integrity of aperson’s sexuality?

Whenshouldtheseboundariesin arelationship bediscussed?

Forgiveness

Reador havesomeoneread1John1:9.Inthevideo, Christinareflects onengagingin sex before marriageandgivingawaythatwhichshecannotgetback.

Whydoyouthinkshefeels this way?

Whatdoesapersonneedtodoaboutsexualsinin herlife?

Howdoesexperiencing God’s gracehelpovercometheconsequencesofsexualsins?

Itis very probablethatsomeof thewomeninyourgrouphaveexperiencedsex outsideof marriage. Refertothewomanatthewell(John4)andthewomancaughtinadultery(John8).Remindthegroup thatJesusgrantsforgivenessandrestorationwhenwe cometoHimingenuinerepentanceandwitha desiretoabandonthesininourlife.

PraythatGodwillgiveyoutheopportunityto encouragethoseinvolvedinasexualrelationshipoutside marriageto becomesexuallypureuntil theyaremarried.

NowWhat?

Say,As a Christianwearecalled to“clotheourselves withthe Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 13:14) rather thanto giveinto thedesires of theflesh.As believers wearecalled toalignourselves withGod’s perspectiveandplanforourlife. Thatplanincludesauthentic,healthyrelationshipsbuiltontruthand mutualrespect.

Intimespast,chastenesswassomethingtobeprotected.Doyouthink thatis truenow?Whyor whynot?

Howhasthisstudyshapedyourthoughtsaboutsexuality?

HowwouldyoudefineChristiansexuality in lightof this study?

Tohelp applythis session’s truths, choose oneof thefollowingoptions and inviteparticipants totake part.

OptionOne

Formsmallgroupsfor thepurposeof holdingeachotheraccountable.Forexample,forthosewhoare married,havethembeaccountableformaintaininga balanceinroles betweenwifeandmother.Orfor thoseunmarried,havethembeaccountablefortakingtheinitiativeinsettingclearboundariesintheir datingrelationship.

Suggest thegroups adapt someof Wesley’s questions (for smallgroups),forexample:

Howwelldidyoumaintainthebalanceinyourroles sinceourlast connection?Or,howsuccessful wereyouinstatingandmaintainingboundariesinyourcurrentrelationship?

Inwhatareasdoyouneedtobecomemoreintentionalin thisintegration?Or,in whatwaysdo youneedtobemoreintentionalinsettingboundariesin yourcurrentrelationship?

Howcanthemembersofthegrouphelpholdyouaccountabletoaccomplishthis?

OptionTwo

Reador haveeachpersonreadsilently,Psalm139:13-16.Suggestthatparticipantswriteaprayer basedonPsalm139.

Close thesessionbyprayingforeachparticipantbyname.

Reference

Morris,Larry.2007.MakingaMarriage(BeaconHillPress of KansasCity).