J.R.R. Tolkien is a legend at description[S1], but sometimes it is too powerful to read.[S2] Here is a demonstration to prove he is fantastic. (Worse it brought thousands of dark-grey moths, some nearly as big as your hand) [S3]but sometimes he gets a bit tiresome[S4] and doesn't write as much description. This [S5]is telling us that Bilbo is scared of heights and does not want to get on the eagle's back. [S6]I like [S7]this piece of description: 'This time he was allowed to climb on to an eagle's back and cling between the wings. The air rushed over him and he shut his eyes.' At the start [S8]of the Hobbit, it said Bilbo did not like adventures and heights, and it told you for definite Bilbo was scared of heights because he was hanging on for life.

[S1]In many ways, Tolkien's work has gone down in the annuls of history because of his description and so this is true. I would try to rephrase it though as it sounds like a football commentary at the moment.

[S2]I really like this as it is giving your opinion without mentioning the word, 'I'. you could expand on this further by arguing why Tolkien used the various pieces of description. For instance, he made use of a wide variety of metaphors, including personifcation and similes but also employed show - not tell, and then quite literary tell blatantly as his characters would explain things in great detail. This could form the basis of your report and you could provide a couple of quotes in order to support your ideas.

[S3]When you quote someone from a book, you need to use quote marks which are like single speech marks. If the quote includes parenthesis, then put them inside the quote marks, for instance here, you would need to say, '(Worse, it brought thousands of dark-grey moths, some nearly as big as your hand).'

Can you see how I have used the quote marks around the other punctuation marks?

[S4]Do you mean to say tiresome or tired here? Tired would fit in with the sentence better and suggests the author becomes tired of writing the description. Tiresome means that the reader becomes tired of reading the quotes.

[S5]There isn't really a flow from the first of these sentences to the second which makes me feel that it should be part of a new paragraph. What do you think? If you keep it in the same paragraph, you need to help the reader to flow from one idea to another better.

[S6]You could write a whole paragraph about this, but I think it would be better to say that this forms only a small part of a greater theme within the book. Bilbo Baggins is not the adventurous type and he is often refered to as being homesick. (You would have to find some detail to quote here). you could put an argument forward saying that Bilbo is in fact a creature who liked the home comforts: a log fire, a cup of tea, a nice warm bed, taking evidence from the first couple of pages of Chapter One. You could then talk about a transmogrification and maybe find evidence from the book which showed how initially, the dwarves held him in contempt, wondering why he was there, but eventually, they saw that he was an invaluble member of the team.

[S7]Try to avoid using the word I if you can. Reports should be written in the third person if at all possible. An alternative way of writing this sentence might be:

When Tolkien describes how the eagles flew Bilbo and his friends to the Carrock, he says, 'This time he was allowed to climb on to an eagle's back and cling between the wings. The air rushed over him and he shut his eyes.' which suggests that Bilbo, far from being a brave adventurer, was, in fact, scared of heights. This idea is supported earlier in the book when Tolkien described the escape from the goblins as he states that 'At the best of times heights made Bilbo giddy.he used to turn queer if he looked over the edge of quite a little cliff; and he had never liked ladders, let alone trees.'

Can you see how I use two quotes to support the argument that Bilbo didn't like heights?

[S8]Again, this should be a new paragraph as it is talking about something new.