The International School Nido de Aguilas

The Global Nomad Experience:

Easing the Transition for Internationally Mobile Families

Nido de Aguilas

2009

Elementary Guidance Center

Carey Harris (K2-2nd Grade Counselor)

Stephanie Passamonte (3rd-5th Grade Counselor)

Consuelo Hurtado (ECC/ES Psychologist)

The Global Nomad Experience:

Easing the Transition for Internationally Mobile Families

I. The Global Nomad Profile

Global Nomads, also known as internationally mobile children or Third Culture Kids, are persons of any age or nationality who have spent childhood years living in one or more countries outside their county of passport because of their parent’s occupation.

As the offspring of people living international lives, global nomads are members of a worldwide community of persons who share a unique cultural heritage.It is important to be aware of the cultural experiences unique and common to all global nomads. These include mobility, leave-taking, building new relationships, cultural balance, world view, cross-cultural skills, linguistics, and development.

Global nomads often share similar responses to the benefits and challenges of a childhood abroad.

Some of the benefits of the global nomad experience include:

  • A wider, three-dimensional worldview: global nomads tend to view the world as a global entity inhabited by “real” people with the same basic human needs. This realization also provides with a great potential for leadership.
  • The ability to handle challenges: global nomads are remarkably adaptive to new environments and situations
  • The ability to move more easily around in diverse groups: global nomads are usually more socially mature, being able to interact comfortably with people of all ages and races.
  • A greater tolerance for differences
  • Cross-cultural skills: with their higher level of differences, global nomads are good observers who have the open mindedness to appreciate different cultural heritages, customs, habits and communication styles.
  • Greater patience
  • Fluency in two or more languages

Some of the challenges of growing up as a global nomad include :

  • Unresolved loss or grief: the frequent breaking-off of relationships due to relocations can cause unresolved sadness if closure does not occur.
  • Having difficulty maintaining lasting relationships. Global Nomads may be used to moving and change and at times they do not plant their roots, but rather, keep their bags unpacked (protection factor).
  • Language barriers
  • At times the parents’ post requires many social obligations, therefore, there may be more stress in the family, less interaction with the local families, and more interaction with adults.

II.The Transition Process

It is important to be sensitive to the stressful experience of transitioning, keeping in mind the culture shock the global nomad will experience. To ease the transition process, strategies should be developed for potential problem areas of social acceptance, building relationships, language barriers, and coping with aloneness.

The following illustrates the stages of transition and accompanying stressors involved in a major family move. (see Child Stress Chart, attached)

The Three Stages of Transition

1.)Disconnecting – The first stage of transitioning is the period for tying up loose ends, letting go of relationships and commitments here. “Short-termitis” may develop: Productivity drops and you draw back from friends. This is also the period for grieving for all that is being left behind. Even though it hurts to say goodbye, this must be done before leaving, or you may always regret the unsaid goodbyes.

2.)Transition – The second stage is that hassled, frantic time of sorting out closets, packing and re-packing and document chasing which accompanies every move. During this transition stage, tempers can be short and anxieties high. From the time you pack that first box until the plane lands at your new destination, you are in transition, and the stress everyone undergoes at this time can be overwhelming. It is important not to make any major life decisions during this time, in order to keep things as consistent and predictable as possible.

3.)Reconnecting – In the final stage, you work at settling in and once more “feeling at home.” You learn your way around the neighborhood, settle back into your old job or perhaps look for another, learn where the local grocery is and which schools, dentists and doctors are recommended. You make new friends and get involved in activities. A day comes when you look about, find no boxes waiting to be unpacked, and say to yourself, “Yes, this is home.”

Adapted by Beth Huse.

III.Family Strategies to Ease Transition and Achieve Cultural Balance

The transition experience is a part of the life-cycle of the international family. Family communication is vital to managing transitions and culture shock.

  • Recognize that transitioning is a stressful period for everyone. This is normal and to be expected: After all, this is a major life change. Talk the move over with your family. Include the children in the discussion and let everyone share concerns and feelings.
  • Maintain contact with family and friends from your previous location. This is especially important for children and teens.
  • Provide as much continuity and predictability as possible. Activities you and your children know and enjoy should be continued at home and at school. Also, emphasize similarities between the new and old environments, so that your children can gain a better sense of control over their situation.
  • Work with your family to develop a healthy approach towards crossing cultural boundaries. Review Individual approaches to crossing cultural boundaries(attached) with your family. Discuss how you want your family to approach this new culture and balance it with your current culture. Talk about your individual values. Also give time for each person to discuss the values of the new culture that they find appealing or not so appealing. Learn all you can about the new culture’s traditions, ways of communicating, language, foods, customs, hidden rules, etc. Help your children realize that they can combine important features of both cultures without disregarding one or the other completely.
  • Recognize that you may feel depressed, angry, excited, sad, tired, lonely, or overwhelmed, and that it is okay to feel this way. Keep in mind the emotional Stages of Change (attached) that you and your family will experience. Be aware of what you are experiencing emotionally and keep in mind that it will most likely pass. Keep in mind that how you are feeling will directly impact your children.
  • Be very observant of the physical and behavioral signs of stress that your children may be exhibiting. Children usually do not vocalize their feelings, but rather, act out their fears and worries. Review Symptoms of stress in children and the article Do you know where your children are? (attached).
  • Set aside a weekly time for your family to discuss how they are feeling during the transition time. Give your children a chance to vocalize or even draw what they are thinking and feeling. It is likely that your family members will be at different emotional stages at different times, and that you will float back and forth between the stages.
  • Separate the big hassles from the little ones: It’s not the one big problem that can bowl you over, but the host of minor irritations.
  • Be good to yourself! Treat yourself to a favorite dessert, take your family out to dinner, pamper yourself and be your own best friend.
  • If you have children, find time for you and your spouse to be alone.
  • As soon as possible, hang special paintings, unpack children’s prized possessions, and make your house look like home.
  • Hook up with your interests: Find out where the local sporting activities and gyms are, see what the parks have to offer and check what the school has to offer for adults and children.
  • Remember: Laughter is the best medicine. If you can laugh about your experiences, you’re one your way to feeling at home.

IV.Getting Involved with other Global Nomads

Global nomads need a forum for personal story-telling that affirms the experience of an internationally-mobile childhood. Find times for your children and you to meet with other internationally mobile families. Go out of your way to reach out to other families. Share your experiences with each other, give and receive advice, and laugh together about your experiences adapting to a new culture.

Review the attached list of resources for internationally mobile families. Organizations, such as FIGT (families in global transition) offer many opportunities to share your experiences with others.

V.Getting Involved with the Local Community

It is also important to make friends with the local families. You may need to go out of your way to join local activities or to invite people to join you. But once you make those friendships, you will find yourself with close, deeply-connected, relationships.

Learn all you can about the social customs in Chile and at Nido. For instance, it is common for children to invite their ENTIRE class over for their birthday party. Your child will have many invites to their classmates’ birthday parties. Be open to these opportunities and take your children to as many social gatherings as possible. It is important to the local families to see that you are attempting to join them in their celebrations.

Child Stress Scale

Stressful EventPoints Score

Parent dies100

Parents divorce73

Parents separate65

Parent travels as part of job63

Close family member dies63

Personal injury or illness53

Parent remarries50

Parent fired from job47

Parents reconcile45

Mother goes to work45

Changes in health of a family member44

Mother becomes pregnant40

School difficulties39

Birth of a new sibling39

School readjustment (new teacher or class)39

Change in families financial condition38

Injury or illness of a close friend37

Starts a new (or changes) an extracurricular activity (music lessons, sports, etc)36

Changes in number of fights with sibling35

Threatened by violence at school31

Theft of personal possessions30

Changes responsibilities at home29

Older brother or sister leaves home29

Trouble with grandparents29

Outstanding personal achievement28

Move to another city26

Move to another part of town26

Receives or loses a pet25

Changes personal habits24

Trouble with teacher24

Change in hours with babysitter or at day-care center20

Move to a new house20

Changes to a new school20

Changes play habits19

Vacations with family19

Changes friends18

Attends summer camp17

Changes sleeping habits15

Changes in number of family get-togethers15

Changes eating habits15

Changes amount of TV viewing13

Birthday party12

Punished for not “telling the truth”11

“The above scale gives an estimate of the impact of various changes in a child’s life that hurry and stress

them. Add up the total points for all of the items your child has experienced in the last year. If your child

scored below 150, he or she is about average with respect to stress load. If your child’s score was between

150 and 300 he or she has a better than average chance of showing some symptoms of stress. If your child’s

score was above 300 there is a strong likelihood he or she will experience a serious change in health and/or

behavior.”

From: THE HURRIED CHILD, by David Elkind

Individual Approaches to

Crossing Cultural Boundaries

Acculturation

Acculturation occurs when you try to become a member of the new culture and leave your

cultural roots behind. There is a loss of ethnic identity that is seldom fully replaced by the

new culture. On a larger scale, widespread attempts to acculturate serve to devalue the

original culture – to suggest that it is a culture one should avoid being associated with.

Chauvinistic

A second approach to long-term encounters with a new culture involves a passionate

connection to the culture of origin. This is labeled the chauvinistic approach, and is the

polar opposite of acculturation. Encountering a new culture, a person may come to value

his/her own culture more than ever. He/she may go so far as to denigrate the newly

encountered culture; for example, viewing it as backward, primitive, or heathen. This

approach can result in nationalism or racism and lead to considerable friction with

members of the new culture.

Marginal

A person who adopts the norms of two cultures, in spite of the fact that those norms may be incompatible with each other, is described as marginal. This person often lives on the margins of both cultures because the incompatibilities of the two cultures prevent him/her from being fully integrated into either one. As a result, this person is left on the margins, never fully integrated into either one.

Mediating

Finally, in a few circumstances, a person may be able to synthesize or combine the important features of both cultures without losing what is essential to each. These rare individuals can mediate or translate between members of both cultures, and can help to build more harmonious relations between the two cultures.

- Adapted from Here Today There Tomorrow

The Stages of Change

Denial

The meaning of change doesn’t sink in

Continue life as usual

Focus on the way things were or are

No exploration of change

Resistance

Experience anger, doubt, depression, anxiety, and fear

Focus on personal impact

Lots of grumbling, complaining

Exploration

More focus on the future

Draw on energy to invent ways to move into future external focus

Chaotic – people search for new ways to relate to each other and their new environment

Some stress – especially among those who are comfortable with structure

Commit

See the new situation emerge

Get ready to recreate life

Refocus on a plan, set goals

Negotiate roles and expectations

- Adapted from Here Today There Tomorrow

The emotional stages one goes through during periods of change do not always follow a simple, linear pattern. For example, a person may experience resistance and then find themselves back in a period of denial, before returning to resistance and then progressing on to exploration. Generally speaking, most people reach the stage of commitment after 6 to 9 months living in a new environment. The amount of time it takes a person to adjust and commit to a new situation depends on many factors, including; age, personal stability at home, whether or not they have experienced a great change in the past, social maturity, personality, and linguistics. Whether it takes you as little as 4 months or as long at 18 months to adjust to your new environment, it is important to keep in mind that your emotions will change and that with time, willingness and patience, you will find yourself integrated and committed to a new school, home, and culture.

SYMPTOMS OF STRESS IN CHILDREN

Preschoolers

will pick up on parent’s mood. If the parents are comfortable with the move, it can smooth the child’s adjustment.

may regress (toilet accidents, sucking thumb, clinging to old security blankets previously given up, etc.)

clinging to mother or father, fearful of being left

weepy, easily resort to tantrums, more easily frustrated

excessive activity

nightmares

Elementary-Aged Children

big concern: the first day of school and being accepted.

bedwetting

withdrawl through excessive reading, sleeping, TV watching, listening to music, etc.

compulsive eating or no appetite at all, change in eating habits

sleeping problems (over-sleeping or under-sleeping)

irritability, overly sensitive to minor upsets

feeling out of control or helplessness

minor physical complaints (headache, intestinal or stomach upset, etc.)

wanting to avoid school

lonely and unable to make new friends

constantly in need of reassurance

change in school performance (not necessarily grades alone)

Teenagers

great concern with “fitting in” and being accepted by the peer group

frequently sick without organic cause

skipping school

secretive, non-communicative

change in school performance and participation

resistance to being hugged or touched

withdrawn from friends and/or family; hibernates in own room

excessive moodiness

tired all the time; change in sleeping habits

change in eating habits (overeating or under-eating)

fantasizes about life back home or in previous school to an excessive degree

much anger expressed against host country and/or new school and its people

-Adapted from Beth House, In Touch Foundation

Do You Know Where Your Children Are? – by Lois J. Bushong

“I hate the United States. I just want to go back to Costa Rica.” These were the first

words out of 10-year-old Suzy’s mouth as she plopped down on the couch in my office.

“What’s going on that makes you hate the U.S.?” I probed. “Well, the kids in my class

think that I’m weird because I never heard of N’Sync. I don’t know anyone, and

everyone already has his or her own friends. They can’t even find Costa Rica on the map.

I just want to go home again.” She pulled off her new Nikes and kicked them a couple of

feet from the couch and straightened her little oxcart necklace around her neck while

shyly glancing at me to see how I would react to her vocal disgust.

Suzy’s parents had brought her to me for counseling, as they were concerned about her

current behavior. It was not at all typical of the Suzy they knew in San Jose. She now

complained of headaches, did not want anything to do with her classmates, hid in her

room where she watched television nonstop and fought with her brother. They weren’t

sure when it all started as they confessed to doing some of their own hibernation. They

had thought life would be much easier back home again. They would be able to pick up

right where they left off seven years ago. Although the sign said “Hometown, USA” it

felt like “Lonely Town, USA.” How do parents who are experiencing their own struggles

help their children who are feeling more like expatriates in a strange culture?