In-Class Essay – Arranged Marriage?
Task:
After reading the following articles, respond to the prompt below with a well-organized and thoughtful essay. Be sure to use evidence from the articles and your own experience to support your claims. You have 90 minutes.
Prompt:
Is it wise to have parents arrange marriages for their children?
The Side Effects of Arrange Marriage
Pooja - Stafford, Texas
Entered on May 4, 2007
From “This I Believe” from NPR Radio
Arrange marriage is a huge part of some cultures around the world. Especially the Indian culture. I, being an Indian, believe that a person should have the right to choose who they want to marry. Most women in India are forced into arrange marriages. People should not have to marry someone they hardly know. Even though people get to know each other after they have accepted the proposal, I believe that they cannot get to truly know each other until they have spent a lot of time together. Arrange marriages can be defined as bringing two complete strangers in the bonds of holy matrimony.
At times arrange marriages are held in such a way that the couple does not even get to know each other before they get married. I believe that by engaging in an arranged marriage people lose the ability to find love. Arrange marriage forces two people to love each other or be miserable for the rest of their life. This also violates a person’s freedom to choose who he or she wants to marry. However, there have been cases where people fall in love after they have been arranged, but the chances of that are very slim.
I believe that most people who are arranged end up unhappy and resenting each other. For instance, my aunt chose to engage in an arrange marriage when she was about twenty-two years old. She was happy during the first couple of years of her married life, but soon she began to notice that her and her husband were not at all compatible. After my aunt had a son, things got even worse because her and her husband constantly disagreed on how to raise their child. These were some of the conflicts that came up because they did not get to know each other before they got married. The only reason they are still married to this day is because they do not want to put their child through a messy divorce.
Even though most couples that want to engage in arrange marriage have the opportunity of getting to know each other, the marriage still does not work out for the most part. Sometimes people say yes to arrange marriage and then get to know their partner. I believe that this short amount of time is not enough to get to know someone especially someone who you have to spend the rest of your life with.
I believe that people should have the right to marry the person of their dreams and not be forced into arrange marriage. Even though some people chose arrange marriage, I believe that they are unsuccessful and end up in bitter divorces and resentments. People should be able to decide who they want to marry and they should marry someone out of love not due to force.
To Arrange or Not to Arrange
Vaishnavi - Irving, Texas
Entered on February 20, 2011
From “This I Believe” on NPR Radio
Is it not ironic how we do not want to listen to the people who gave us our lives when we are about to start a new one? In most Western cultures, the idea of arranged marriage sounds horrendous. Love marriage is admired because people believe that love should be endless.
I believe that parents have the right to decide whom their child should marry. This does not mean that the child should meet their future life partner during the marriage ceremony. Many believe that one cannot decide all this in just one conference. Of course, they cannot; this is why modern arranged marriages are less strict. Now, parents are searching for a future husband/wife for their child that is well educated, has a sustainable career, and is family oriented. In addition, parents in search take the consent of their child before taking an imperative decision. In this way, an acceptable relationship is stabilized.
I do not know about arranged marriages elsewhere, but I do know about them in India. Modern day Indian marriages, like in my family, are not like before. Now, the future bride and groom affront each before to develop a relationship. The concept of joint family is more appreciated compared to a nuclear one. The marriage not only links two people together, but also bonds two families.
“We weren’t meant for each other after all. I was young, and so were you. We both did not know right from wrong. I think we took a major decision without thinking it through. I am sorry; this is not going to work.” This typical break-up conversation should sound familiar to many people. Two people in an arranged marriage are not likely going to experience this situation. For example, in America, the land of the free, the divorce rate is close to 50%. In India, the place of “forced” marriages as some like to say, it is only 1.1%. Why do not people who were forced to marry each other get divorced more? Is it not ironic that two people, who love each other greatly, are destined to be each other, get divorced shortly after?
The reason for this is compromise between the people in the arranged marriage. Although marriage is not a compromise, the two people will get to know each other after the marriage and learn to live together. In a love marriage, since the two people have known each other for a long time, in the young years of love, they expect more out of each other after marriage. This is the primary reason why divorce rates are very high for love marriages. “You weren’t like this before.”
I am not against love marriages. I think that will work out just fine if there is agreement with parents. Even in arranged marriages today, children have the right to be open with their parents about it. When we were kids, we used to ask them about every meager dilemma, so why are we afraid to do the same now?