IIT&L PRESS RELEASE ASSESSMENT
STUDENT NAME:Shustrov Aleksey
DATE:April 2012
OVERALL GRADE:53
Learning Outcome / 1(Fail)
Less than 40% / 2
(Low Pass)
40 – 50% / 3
(Satisfactory)
50 – 60% / 4
(Good)
60 – 70% / 5
(Outstanding)
70%+
Identification of the relevant news angle / Irrelevant story angle that does not relate to the background material provided / Basic identification of the relevant news angle using the background material provided / Appropriate identification of the relevant news angle using the background materials provided / Imaginative identification of the relevant news angle using the background materials provided / Sophisticated identification of the relevant news angle using the background materials provided
Press release structure / Poor structure that does not take into account journalistic conventions / Basic structure showing a limited awareness of appropriate journalistic conventions / Appropriate structure showing a level of awareness of appropriate journalistic conventions / Good structure showing a high level of awareness of appropriate journalistic conventions / Excellent structure showing a professional level of awareness of appropriate journalistic conventions
Construction of introduction / Weak introduction that does not convey basic story essentials / Basic construction that conveys a limited range of the relevant story essentials / Appropriate construction that conveys a number of the relevant story essentials / Excellent construction that conveys an appropriate range of the relevant story essentials / Excellent construction that conveys the full range of relevant story essentials
Use of English / Poor use of English that is difficult to read / Limited use of English requiring improvement / Basic use of English requiring some improvement / Good use of English that conveys the sense of the story well and requires little improvement / Outstanding use of English that conveys the sense of the story perfectly and requires no improvement
COMMENTS: I can see that you have tried to inject some ‘excitement’ into the words you are using here, but some of the English doesn’t quite make sense, which detracts from the overall quality of the work. What do you mean by the ‘promotion being a problem for placement’, for example? Remember you are writing this from the perspective of American Apparel, so you would try to play down some of the issues it has had rather than drawing attention to them. You also need to avoid rhetorical questions and statements of opinion such as your view that people should read all the facts before making their own mind up about the company.