Coach: Hi Deborah, what would you like coaching on?
Client: I’d like coaching around my career and where I’m headed in my career.
Coach: And, what’s the question that’s on your mind?
Client: Well I guess what I’m involved in right now is kind of different from what I’ve been involved in my work life most of my life, and I’m loving it, but I think there’s more, a lot more and I wanting to take a look at that and how to get there.
Coach: Great. And what does more look like.
Client: I think it looks like more responsibility, more respect and confidence from some of the people that are above me in the organization I work for, yeah.
Coach: So what I’m hearing isssss, ahhhhh, more of you at work.
Client: Uh huh
Coach: Does that sound fair to say?
Client: Yeah.
Coach: And … are there, like, particular parts of you that you’d like to bring more of to work … what would those be?
Client: I think that what I’d like to have more of is to be able to show up even more, that’s a big word for me, isn’t it, more, even more as really competent, able to make good decisions, to step into that place, to be somebody that could really be counted on for new ideas and direction, and ways to do things.
Coach: So part of what I’m hearing is there’s a competence or capability in you that’s not fully used, and it would just feel better to have more of that at work
Client: Yeah, yeah, because I do have some, but I think because it’s kind of a new area for me in terms of my career or work life, I’m still kind of feeling my way around in it, you know, thinking I’m so much more capable of things and then actually being asked to do it, two different things.
Coach: So this is a calling forth for you.
Client: Umhum.
Coach: Let’s do this. Imagine that it’s year from now and you’re looking back from this previous year and you can see where you’ve really stepped into this place with great courage … you’re feeling enormously satisfied … what would you say you had to overcome or step into in order to be in this new place? [STEPS INTO THE FUTURE]
Client: I think that what I would have to overcome might be my own stuff, not necessarily what someone else is putting on me, but my own things about “you’re not really qualified… don’t have advanced degree… haven’t worked in big corporation” … some of those voices.
Coach: Uh huh.
Client: Yeah.
Coach: So there’s this Saboteur speaking in your ear and saying these things about what your limitations are.
Client: Yeah, like, Who do you think you are?
[laughter]
Coach: Let me ask that question! I’m not going to be asking your saboteur, I’m going to ask Deborah, who are you really, who do you know that you are?
Client: I know I’m exceptionally skillful with people and it’s something I’ve worked on but it’s also something, it’s basically … I see it as a gift.
Coach: What else?
Client: Um, I’m really smart. And I really …
Coach: I notice you hesitate when you say that. [laughter]
Client: [laughter] It’s the truth! But I do hesitate a little.
Coach: Is that your saboteur who’s hesitating?
Client: Probably … it probably is. I think it’s my Saboteur because it sounds like a should voice or a shouldn’t voice when I think about that. So, I’m sorry, where are we?
Coach: You’re really smart. You got a little lost there, but you’re really smart!
Client: Yes, I have good ideas, I’m really curious and inquisitive, and always looking for information, new ways to think about something or look at something … and I think those are great qualities in an organization.
Coach: One thing I also heard you say earlier, you were alluding to wanting to have more creative input.
Client: Ummmm.
Coach: So where does creative input happen in your life?
Client: Yes, that’s a really good point, because I’m not a person who’s motivated by checking things off a list, if there’s some kind of art, or beauty, or synchronicity, and being able to be aware of that, that’s more compelling.
Coach: Umhum. So we’re still in this place taking a look over last year … things that really showed up over this past year. Creativity, in lots of different ways. You were able to take advantage of your ability to engage with people. You were given challenging opportunities to express yourself and to use this skill of being smart. So now in that place of a year from now, what does, what does that look like, ah … describe where you are in your organization now.
Client: I think that I am either on the management team or close to being on the management team. That they’re actually looking at me as, ‘why don’t we have her be on this team.’
Coach: I just want to take a stand for this courageous version of this vision. Are you on the management team or not on it?
Client: Ohhh, oh, oh … ummm … on it!
Coach: I was not mining for the right answer … but the courageous answer.
Client: Right, the courage answer. The brave answer.
Coach: What will it take to get there?
Client: I think that the biggest thing it will take to get there is for me to really believe it’s possible.
Coach: What will it take you to believe it’s possible?
Client: Umm, I think that having some success, a certain degree of success in what I’m already doing. Kind of a proving myself if you will. That that will be a hard thing for people to not notice. And I think if I’m at that place where I’m feeling competent and able to deliver, all those things will make me feel like I’m in a position .. to say, yes, but, I can do so much more.
Coach: Umhum. Let’s try this, let’s do one more piece of work around this vision that you have.
Client: Ok.
Coach: We’re going to metaphorically put this vision in the center of the room, and the vision we’re saying is ‘I’m on the management team,’ okay?
Client: Umhuh.
Coach: So imagine you’re standing and looking at this little card right there in the middle of the room, and it says ‘Deborah on the management team.’ What’s it like today as you look at that card?
Client: It’s really exciting. It’s something to really shoot for, to aim for, umm, a place to put my energy, a place to put my creativity.
Coach: So Deborah, I have to tell you, I hear the words ‘excitement and creativity,’ and I don’t quite get that sense from you.
Client: You know what? It’s also really scary when I really look at it. I go, oooh, it’s a little scary. It’s a lot scary.
Coach: Now we’re getting down to it.
Client: It’s like, ‘oh my God, then I’d have to really know what I’m doing.’
Coach: It would be a challenge wouldn’t it?
Client: Umhum.
Coach: So we actually have two ways of looking at this and I’m going to pull them apart so we have got some clarity to it. There probably is a way of looking at it that is exciting and gets your juices flowing, and there’s the place that we can tell right now where you’re standing and it’s really, really scary. I think your words were something along the lines of “I’m not sure I’m up to it.” Something like that. And it will really put me to the test.
Client: Yeah.
Coach: So imagine creating a plan of action around standing in this place of ‘oh my God it’s scary, that’s going to really test me and I’m not sure I’m up to it.’ You can imagine that would be a difficult road to walk.
Client: Yeah.
Coach: So we’re not going to do that. We’re going to have you, metaphorically again, walk all the way around to this other side of the issue, and if you could in your mind move 180 degrees from that first place and stand looking from the opposite side, what will anchor that opposite for you. How will you know when you’re on the opposite side.
Client: When I get to the place where I’m most of the time saying “man, this is so much fun.”
Coach: What’s something you already do in your life that has that feeling, ‘it’s so much fun.’
Client: For me it would probably be singing that is so much fun.
Coach: And what is there about singing that is so much fun?
Client: I really know how to do it, I love it, it’s expressive, it makes a difference, and it’s just fun. It’s fun to sing.
Coach: So it sounds like what we were talking about earlier, it’s a way for you to be creative, and expressive, and competent, ahhh, smart’s not exactly in there, but it has that sense of, you know, I’m really capable.
Client: Umhum.
Coach: So this is the singing perspective.
Client: Ummmm.
Coach: So imagine, and I know you can do this, it’s already living in your cells and bones. So imagine taking that breath, and about to sing from the soulfullest place in your heart. And you’re going to create Deborah on the management team from the singing place. How would that be different?
Client: Well, it will be … it will be … irresistible.
Coach: Umhum.
Client: I mean, I will be irresistible. They will not be able to say no to me, and they won’t want to.
Coach: No. They’ll want to join in that song.
Client: Yeah, exactly.
Coach: What else. You got soft there. What’s the soft place.
Client: There’s a whole place for me to look at what is important to me, and as you’ve talked about this a couple of times now, one of the things that really allows me to get settled into this is to be able to see the beauty of all of that. The beauty of having a goal and something to go for and land in there.
Coach: Umhum.
Client: And also the beauty I know that I can create, that I can be part of.
Coach: So this is Deborah on the management team from a place of expressiveness, beauty, it’s a place of irresistibility.
Client: Yeah.
Coach: And it really, really feels alive doesn’t it.
Client: Ummm.
Coach: So there are some next steps for you from the place of singing and beauty and expressiveness, what would be the next step on this path?
Client: Ummmm.
Coach: The path of irresistibility?
Client: I think that it actually has to do with me, okay we get back to the more word, it actually has to do with more of me showing up.
Coach: And what would that look like tomorrow or the next day?
Client: Probably a little bit more enthusiasm. A little bit more volunteering. Stepping into things that will challenge me. And meeting the challenge. And I think it will also have something to do with forming some alliances.
Coach: Lots of good ideas here. Forming alliances, showing up more, volunteering more, being more expressive I hear?
Client: Umhum.
Coach: What would you like to be accountable for? Action.
Client: Action item.
Coach: Uh huh. From a place of singing.
Client: I think that I would like to be accountable for having a conversation with my new manager.
Coach: Good.
Client: Who’s part of the management team.
Coach: And when will that conversation take place?
Client: In the next week.
Coach: And you can send me an email and let me know that’s happened.
Client: Yeah.
Coach: One more question!
Client: That was easy!
Coach: How will you know that you were singing in that conversation?
Client: I think that I will know because I’ll feel good about it. I know that’s kind of…
Coach: …a little vague.
Client: I’ll feel good about it, but the way I’ll know is that I will actually have a connection with this person and will actually be talking about things that we can do together.
Coach: And I want to acknowledge the way that you found the singer in you as a very true authentic place of who Deborah really is in the world. And that journey that you’re on to be on the management team is as much about having that singer show up in the world as it is about the new job, new way of expressing yourself or showing your competence. And I do have a request
Client: Umm.
Coach: The request is to find a theme song some time in the next week that reminds you of this singer place, probably something you can sing along with. Can you do that?
Great
Coach: Thanks, Deborah.
Client: Thank you Phil.
Coach: I think we're complete.