Seeds for Celebration
for the
Jubilee! Community
Asheville, North Carolina
Summer, 2015 - Via Positiva
Growing Older But Not Up
VIA POSITIVA: Growing Older But Not Up
I’m growing older, but not up.
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck.
Let the winds of change blow over my head.
I’d rather die while I’m living than live while I’m dead.
- Jimmy Buffet
Unless you become like a child, you’ll never enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
- Jesus
Mayflies don’t spend a lot of time on Facebook. Nor do they ever lie back and read a good novel. Mayflies don’t have time to date. Not even speed-date. Don’t have time for a vacation in the islands. Don’t have time to go overnight camping. Mayflies simply don’t have time. According to National Geographic, the total lifespan of a mayfly is somewhere between 30 minutes and 24 hours, depending upon the species. So, on the one hand, mayflies will never fall in love, get married, get a job, have kids, buy a house and raise a family. But before you shed a tear for the dear mayfly, keep in mind that their sole functions in life are to hatch, eat, mate and die. That’s it. You gotta admit, there are worse ways to live.
Now there are clams (also according to National Geographic) (you gotta believe someone), that have lived for hundreds of years. There was an Arctica Islandia bivalve which lived for 507 years. There are tortoises that live for 200 years and even a Mediterranean jellyfish called Turritopsis dohrnii that recycles itself – aging backwards from adult to polyp and back again, thereby becoming virtually immortal.
So, in the Longevity Olympics we homo sapiens never get the gold. But then again, would you trade your opposable thumb to live in the ocean eating plankton and algae? Or your aptitude to tell an Irish joke for the ability to pull your head inside your shell? Now, supposedly jellyfish have no brain, so the ability to live brainless forever does have a ring to it.
Be that as it may, we are all aging. All getting older. It may come as a downer, but you have just ticked yourself a little closer to death while reading this silliness. Oh, to be a jellyfish! And, perhaps it’s because of the hoards of baby-boomers getting closer to the pale, or maybe it’s our obsession with being in full control of our lives, but Anti-Aging is big business. Really big business. There are seminars, speakers, counselors, drugs, supplements, research, diets, exercise routines, meditation groups, even sex-therapy sessions - all promising to help you live longer and healthier. A delightful new book by Bill Gifford, covers the whole anti-aging business. It’s wonderfully titled, Spring Chicken – Stay Young Forever (Or Die Trying).
As far as we know (according to Bill Gifford), when it comes to staying young physically, there is no magic pill. No perfect exercise routine. Or even a regenerating sexual position. (Rats) But according to many wise people, both ancient and present, it is possible to live forever with a young mind and heart. And there are many, many wise people through the ages who have said that when it comes to living with a youthful outlook, it’s not only possible; it may be one of the best things you can do for yourself and the planet.
Jesus was one of those wise people. He evidently loved kids and refused to allow any of his adult friends or religious poobahs to send them away. He even went so far as to say that one of the only ways you’ll ever get into the kingdom of heaven is becoming like a child.
So, the good news is that we’ll outlive the mayfly. The bad news is, we probably won’t live forever. Or even as long as a tortoise. But, the best news is that we can live like a child. See the world like a child. Open to wonder and magic like a child. It is indeed possible to live our lives with childlike imagination and playfulness and the miracle of infinite possibility.
- Howard
VIA POSITIVA: GROWING OLDER BUT NOT UP
June 28, 2015 – WONDERING
Job 38: 1-11
Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me if you have understanding.
Anna Freud (Sigmund Freud’s daughter)
Sometimes the most beautiful thing is precisely the one that comes unexpectedly and unearned, hence something given truly as a present.
Matthew 18: 1-5
Unless you become like a child, you shall never enter the kingdom of heaven.
As the bumper sticker wisdom goes, “All who wander are not lost.” True, that. But there are a few of us who could use a GPS. By the same token, all who wonder are not clueless. Or lost. Unless, of course, you’re lost in wonder.
To be sure, wonderers are often the wanderers. Wondering about almost anything can get you wandering. Can get you off the beaten path. Can get you into a neck of the woods you never knew existed. Can lead you to astonishing discoveries. Can open you to new horizons. And… can also get you lost.
Kids are wonderful wonderers. And wanderers. Kids can wonder about almost anything: What makes the sky blue? Does Santa Claus live with the tooth fairy? If you dig in the backyard deep enough, will you reach China? If you wish and pray hard enough, will you get a pony? And… why did anyone ever think eating Brussels sprouts was a good idea?
The good thing about wondering is that it opens you up and keeps you from closing down. Wondering enables you to see things you never might have never seen, hear things you might never have heard. Wondering jump-starts the creativity gene and keeps your brain asking, “What if?” The bad thing about wondering is that it can get you wandering. And even lost. But if you’re lost in wonder, best advice is to wander on.
VIA POSITIVA: GROWING OLDER BUT NOT UP
July 5, 2015 - TRUSTING
Lamentations 3: 22-33
God’s mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning.
Urie Bronfenbrenner
If the children and youth of a nation are afforded opportunity to develop their capacities to the fullest, if they are given the knowledge to understand the world and the wisdom to change it, then the prospects for the future are bright.
Mark 5: 24-34
If I but touch his clothes, I will be made well.
You can trust in the Lord, trust in the process or trust that the sun will come up tomorrow morning. You can trust your teen-agers to be home by 11:00, trust your parents not to go snooping through your Email, trust that Uncle Ed will do his “pull my finger” joke at Thanksgiving Dinner, trust your car won’t run out of gas even though the light’s been on for a week or trust the government to be untrustworthy.
So many ways to trust; so little time.
There are those who say that the secret to a successful life is to trust nobody. Don’t be played, duped or taken for a fool. And it’s true that absolute trust can sometimes put you in an absolute sinkhole. There are people out there who do believe a sucker is born every minute and are willing to take advantage.
But without trust on some level, life would be impossible. Not to mention miserable. If you couldn’t trust cars to stop at the light so you can cross the street or trust that the person sitting behind you in the movies is not a serial killer or trust that there will always be enough air for your next breath, life would simply suck.
“Trust is the glue of life,” writes Steven Covey. “It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds together all relationships.”
Some of the most trusting souls in the world are those who most recently came from the womb.
VIA POSITIVA: GROWING OLDER BUT NOT UP
July 12, 2015 – INSIGHTFULL
Ezekiel 2: 1-5
They shall all know there has been a prophet among them.
Carl Jung
Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
Mark 6: 1-6
Where did this man get all this?
You ever had a kid stare at you? Really stare? Gawk? Gape? Eyes wide, open-mouthed? Like at any moment you might explode. Or turn into Godzilla. Or grow another head. You needn’t be saying or doing anything out of the ordinary. To the ogling kid, you are more fascinating than God. More mesmerizing than the Grand Canyon. More enthralling than boogers.
The kids who love to stare usually get away with it until a certain age or until parents begin to admonish them with a “It’s not nice to stare, honey,” or a “Just say, ‘Hello,’” or a “Here, sweetie. Go play with this video game.”
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When you get stared down by a 3-year old, you gotta wonder, “What is this kid seeing? What is this kid thinking? Does this kid know something about me that I don’t know?” Or, is this kid just checking me out to see what it means to be human?
One thing, for sure: the gawking kid is gawking at you from a radically different perspective than older others who have been socialized to think and feel and act in so-called “appropriate” ways. This gawker has recently come from the womb. Come from a microscopic sperm and egg. Come from deep mystery that no one can explain. Come from God.
So, it might well be that the inappropriately gaping kid is seeing things in you that you have not yet discovered. Seeing you in ways you were never taught you could be. Seeing you, perhaps, as God sees you.
On the other hand, he might just be waiting for you to explode.
VIA POSITIVA: GROWING OLDER BUT NOT UP
July 19, 2015 – UNPRETENTIOUS PLAY
Amos 7: 10-15
I am no prophet; I am a herdsman, a dresser of sycamore trees.
Erik Erikson
You see a child at play, and it is so close to seeing an artist paint, for in play a child says things without saying a word.
Mark 6: 7-13
He ordered them to take nothing for the journey except a staff.
Both my daughters loved to run around naked when they were in pre-school age-range. Now in their 20’s, they still might like to run around naked; but I don’t want to know about that. During their early years, however, they far-and-away favored skin over clothes: Birthday suits trounced bathing suits. Bare bellies, backs and butts beat out blouses, bloomers and ball gowns. One of them did, however, desperately love her pink cowgirl boots. So her favorite dress-up outfit was composed entirely of… you guessed it. Pink cowgirl boots. And nothing else.
Pretense is not produced in the womb. Not part of the DNA spiral. No stem cells are capable of spinning out a glob, glop, glint, glimmer or gluteus of pretense. It doesn’t come with the set. Not made in the factory. Pretense comes with that evil – albeit a necessary evil – called socialization. To be socialized is, by definition, to be placed under a group or government control. Getting properly socialized means knowing how to behave properly. Which is good when it keeps people from killing each other, but bad when it teaches you to be someone other than who you are.
I have a picture of one of my amazing daughters at about age 5, running naked through a pouring rain in our front yard with a smile on her face that could rival any rainbow. It’s one of my all-time favorite pictures of anything, anyone, anywhere.
VIA POSITIVA: GROWING OLDER BUT NOT UP
July 26, 2015 – CARING
Jeremiah 23: 1-6
I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the lands…
Carl Jung
If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
Mark 6: 30-34
Come to a deserted place by yourselves and rest awhile.
“Sorry!” says the Facebook post. “Sorry. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking promising either.”
Don’t you find it quirky that the word care, C-A-R-E as a noun can mean some kind of mental or physical anguish? A synonym for worry. So, when you haven’t a care in the world, you’re in a good place.
But care C-A-R-E, as a verb means to be concerned or even loving? As in, “I care about you or I really care for you.” Add an I-N-G to the C-A-R and it becomes kind or compassionate. She is such a caring woman. He spends his days caring for others. Same word can be a pain in the butt, a sense of connection or an act of love. All from a little switcheroo in The Parts of Speech Department!
We were each born with a truckload of care built into our hearts and brains. And at first, it’s all about ourselves. We care about getting fed, getting entertained and getting our poopy diapers changed. But, assuming that we are surrounded with caring adults and most of our personal cares are met, we begin to transfer some of that self-care to people and things around us. To dolls and toys and pets and Mom and Weird Uncle Al. Children can be some of the most genuine and creative caregivers on the planet. If you’ve ever had a child really care about you, you know you’ve been cared for. And the moment it happens, you can magically feel as if you haven’t a care in the world.
VIA POSITIVA: GROWING OLDER BUT NOT UP
August 2, 2015 - IMAGINATIVE
Exodus 24: 3-11
Under God’s feet there was like a pavement of sapphire stone, like the very heaven for clearness.
Carl Jung
Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable.
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John 6: 1-15
A boy has 5 loaves and 2 fish, but what is that among so many?
The good thing about education is that it teaches you what stuff is. The bad thing about education is that it teaches you what stuff is not. For example, a chair could be just a chair. Or, it could be the iron wall of a blanket fort. A stick on the ground could be just a stick. But it might be a magic wand that could call faeries out of hiding. One of the beauties of children is that they have not yet had possibility educated out of them.
If you don’t know what something is, then it could be anything. If you don’t know what someone does with their lives, they might be capable of anything. “Knowledge,” wrote Albert Einstein, “will get you from Point A to Point B. Imagination can take you anywhere.”
Maybe it’s because children have so recently come from The Mystery that they haven’t had time to pigeonhole everything. They haven’t had time to figure things out or even assume they can figure things out. They haven’t had time to be taught the concept of impossible. Having so recently come from the timeless Mystery children haven’t had time - clocks and calendars – dictating their thoughts and actions.
We have each been children, of course; and life has been gracious enough to us to leave a fragment of our fertile childlike imagination in our dream world – where time is not in control, and anything is possible.
VIA POSITIVA: GROWING OLDER BUT NOT UP
August 9, 2015 - CURIOUS
Exodus 16: 2-3, 9-15
When the Israelites saw it, they said, “What is it?”
Erik Erikson
There is in every child at every new stage a new miracle of vigorous unfolding, which constitutes a new hope and a new responsibility for all.
John 6: 24-35
Do not work for food that perishes, but for food that has eternal life.
Amanda Jane liked magnifying glasses. She liked them a lot. Took them everywhere. Had a big one in her purse and a small one which she wore as pendant around her neck. “Magnifying glasses make your eyes tingle,” she would explain to her friends. “They get your eyes so excited they want to dance.” And as often as she pulled one or the other glasses up to her eyes to see a leaf, a speck of soil or even a bird dropping, it was pretty clear that Amanda Jane’s eyes spent much of their waking time doing the tango, the salsa or at least a sweet waltz.
So, on a late June afternoon, Amanda was sitting against a tree in her favorite park and finishing a bottle of a French Rose wine which she and a friend had started a day earlier. A spunky little breeze kept tousling her hair and some sweet jasmine scent from somewhere entertained her nose. And then, just on the side of her glass landed a well-fed housefly who evidently also had a taste for the Rose.
Knowing that house flies were renowned for parking on poop and carrying God-knows what nasty bacteria, Amanda Jane shooshed it away. But it came immediately back. Another shoosh. Another landing. And then Amanda Jane remembered her pendant magnifier. The fly, thoroughly engrossed in Vino d’France, could care less as Amanda Jane, magnifier to her eye, leaned up for a closer look. The huge compound eyes, the gossamer wings, the fly’s ballerina agility had Amanda Jane’s eyes doing more of a Cajun two-step than any Zydeco band could ever call forth. “Oh, my!” she whispered. “You are beautiful!” And from that moment on, for the rest of the summer, Amanda Jane couldn’t help but smile whenever a house fly came a calling.