Friends of the Bridegroom

Session 3: Living the Fasted Life

I.Preparing the Way by Preparing Ourselves:

In session one we saw the passionate role that intimate friendship plays to the Friends of the Bridegroom message and in the second session we were introduced to the messenger aspect of this calling. In this final session we will bring the two ideastogether to see how the lifestyle of the Friends of the Bridegroom ushers us into intimacy with God while serving to prepare us to be His messengers.

  1. Called to Prepare the Way:

We have been called to prepare others for His coming. If we are going to be at all useful in preparing the way for the Lord and preparing the hearts of a generation for the coming of the Lord then we need a season of preparation ourselves.

“I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way before you (Mt. 11:10).”

  1. Called to Become Effective Messengers:

To be able to make the impact that Jesus is calling for we must set ourselves to become effective messengers. While this definitely has to do with study I want to propose that in order to become an effective messenger far more is involved than this component alone. There is only one time in human history that can be defined as “the end of the age,” we need to understand that we need a holistic commitment to become the vessels God will use in this way.

  1. Called to the Lifestyle of His Friends:

The Friends of the Bridegroom is a lifestyle; not merely a message. Attending the Bridegroom as a reality is talking about a specific lifestyle that Jesus calls His friends into in order that they might be made ready for their calling.

“The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete (Jn. 3:29)”

II.Called to Voluntary Weakness:

In the most basic form this lifestyle is Jesus calling us to make life choices that position us in a place of weakness instead of leaning on our natural strengths. It is a call to embrace the recognition that strength that comes from God into our lives when we are weak – not when we are strong; we call this voluntary weakness.

  1. His Grace in Our Weakness:

The Apostle Paul had a profound revelation about this subject. This wasn’t something that he came to understand on his own it came by revelation straight from the Lord. This divine truth is part of the way that God has chosen to run His Kingdom.

“he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong(2Co. 12:9-10).”

  1. Voluntarily Embracing Weakness:

Therefore it becomes necessary that in order for us to receive from God all that He wants to give us we need to be weak. There are certainly things in God that we can experience in our strength but those will come to us readily when we are strong, the hidden areas of the Kingdom of God however are only available in our weakness. For this reason Paul said he delighted in his weakness because it meant that he had added access to God and His graces that he otherwise would not be able to touch. God gives grace to the humble; humility is a conscience decision that ushers us into more of what God wants to give us.

“But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:“God resists the proud,But gives grace to the humble (Jm. 4:6 NKJV).”

  1. A Biblical Model Already in Place:

Rather than needing to make up ways to be weak we follow the biblical prescription and embrace a number of the disciplines of the faith that will accomplish this for us. Namely we mean praying, fasting, and giving; we sometimes refer to this way of life as the fasted lifestyle. In the next section we will look at the types of things that the Bible prescribes which intentionally position us in a place of weakness; each of these on ramps to weakness are of our own choosing.

III.Living Violently:

As we have identified John the Baptist as the premiere definition of what it means to be a friend of the bridegroom we need to observe not only his message but also his lifestyle in order that we might understand what it is that Jesus is calling us into. John was known by Jesus as a man who lived with spiritual violence before God and men.

“From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it (Mt. 11:12).”

  1. Listening for His Voice:

It takes time and willingness to be physical unproductive to sit before the Lord and listen for His voice. This takes time to cultivate and time to sustain. The sacrifice of our time in this way is a significant part of voluntary weakness because time is one of our greatest strengths. John the Baptist lived this way in a very real sense as he retreated out to the desert in order to live a simple devotional life and posture his heart to heart what the Lord was speaking. It requires waiting on the Lord in silence and attentive focus; frequently in the Word this is esteemed as wisdom (Pr. 8:34; Ps. 40:1, 130:6; Is. 40:31).

“The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him (Jn. 3:29)”

  1. Fasting for More:

Jesus gives the invitation to fast as a means to get more from Him; not necessarily more material goods but rather more of Him. John the Baptist was living this way even while Jesus was with them; and the Holy Spirit in His kindness what anointing John greatly in his ministry assignment.

“How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast (Mt. 9:15).”

  1. Praying as a Lifestyle:

While the word “pray” isn’t highlighted in John’s life it is clear that this was an important component in his ministry because of several discernable factors; first he was a called a prophet (all the prophets received their revelation in communication with God – that’s called prayer). Secondly, John was known as a friend of Jesus, though they spent very little time together (John called Him the lamb of God in Jn. 1:29, meaning that John knew He was God’s son, John communed with God and recognized God when he saw Him). Thirdly, John’s peace in the midst of his ministry decreasing (Jn. 3:30) and in light of his arrest (Mt. 14:3, 11:2) is supernatural, only attainable through a real prayer life (Php. 4:6-7). Lastly, it is clear that John had something to give others in the area of prayer because he had trained his disciples to pray.

“One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples (Lk. 11:1).”

  1. Living Simply:

This means that we would not long for or seek to acquire lots of stuff, position or honor. Rather it is a trusting of God with whatever He would choose to give us and then use what He gives us to strengthen His Kingdom in ways that proclaim Christ’s coming. As an example; John the Baptist used his resources to serve the ministry of proclamation that the Lord had commissioned him to; he lived simply.

“And so John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness, preaching…John wore clothing made of camel’s hair, with a leather belt around his waist, and he ate locusts and wild honey (Mk. 1:4-6).”

“For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’ …But wisdom is proved right by her actions(Mt. 11:18-19).”

  1. Giving Extravagantly:

One of the most violent things we can do is to give away our money. This is such a countercultural idea and it is powerful to accomplish things in the natural realm. It also moves things in the spiritual realm as generosity shatters covetousness and breaks off selfishness freeing us up to be used of God unhindered. Money impacts those who receive it in profound ways as well which also opens the door for the giver.

“God loves a cheerful giver(2Co. 9:7).”

“A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great (Pr. 18:16).”

IV.God Pours Out on Humble Vessels:

The reason that we want to live this sort of sacrificial life laid out above isn’t to be religious, it’s so that we can grow up into becoming vessels He can entrust with His power and authority.

  1. We Want to Make Impact:

It’s not enough to me that I get to speak the truth; I want that truth to actually impact people when they hear it. I want for my words and my life to have power on it so that I can be an agent of change in my sphere of influence. This pursuit is not about earning His affections or increasing His love for us, it is about positioning ourselves to make the most impact in ministry to people.

  1. We are Not Earning His Love We are Showing Ours:

There is a very wrong idea that circulates in the Body of Christ that it is impossible somehow to earn or loose God’s love. God’s love for us is not contingent on our behavior; our behavior however very much speaks of our love for God.

“if you love me keep my commandments...Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me...Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching (Jn. 14:15-24).”

  1. Growing in His Anointing:

The closer that we grow to God and the more that we participate with Him in His process for our maturity the greater anointing that we will enter into and operate in. We want to grow in His anointing

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit (2Co. 3:18).”

  1. Gaining His Trust:

A significant part of what is occurring through our embracing the fasted lifestyle, and as we pursue Him with right motives is that we are earning His trust to minister on His behalf. We can’t earn His love by our actions but we can absolutely earn His trust; God cares very deeply about how He is represented and He will not promote us if He can not trust that we will do well with that increased influence and authority. The Lord watches us and wants to promote us but He requires that we be tested in many ways before we are rewarded.

“because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance (Jm. 1:3).”

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things (Mt. 25:21).”

  1. Getting Older Doesn’t Necessitate Being Trustworthy:

I love my 3 year old daughter very much but for me to trust her with the keys to the car and to be in charge of the house while Amy and I go out of town for the weekend she has a lot of growing up to do. It’s illegal to leave a 3 year old at home alone, or to let them drive a car, and with good reason; they’re not ready. But, if as she grows she displays maturity and gains our trust then we will increase her responsibilities and privileges and we will get to that point. Her getting older is only one component of gaining our trust, there are plenty of teenagers who should not be allowed to drive a car and should definitely not be left home without supervision.

  1. God Looks to the Humble and Contrite:

God looks for humility over and above almost everything; He has built His Kingdom on this principle. This was another very real characteristic of John the Baptist.

“These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word (Is. 66:2).”

“And this was his message: “After me comes the one more powerful than I, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. I baptize you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit (Mk. 1:7-8).”

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