DEAR INFANT BAPTIZER

Dear Infant Baptizer,

In reference to injudicious discussion, regarding INFANT BAPTISM,such a nugatory obloquy is typical of maladjusted malcontents. The maladroit and mordacious invectives against ineradicable and indomitable Adult Baptism Onliesare designed to ingratiate one with his Protestant and Catholic contemporaries and counterparts. Such retrograde transmutation is reflective of a long held predisposition and predilection to a doctrinal posture, which lacksexperiential redemption. The obvious discomfort among Adult Only Baptizers, who are not often even cognizant of their salvation but also of their baptismal position, is understandable. Still, one’s insolent and petulant raillery is no substitute for having polemics and apologetics with substance. Incompleteand inconsistent exegesis and interpretation is typical of a pointed headed juvenescence among those of isagogic perception.

May I present an "ad litem" explanation of theproblem? Neurasthenia has, no doubt, taken its toll on Infant Baptizers. They are to be pitied. Such transparent dissimulation, passing itself off as a latitudinarian, has proved to be a lubricious perfidy and has obviously resorted to paedo-baptist malfeasance and malversation, subtly challenging their Baptist brethren with allegorical interpretation and sophistry. Evidently, they have no desire in such paedo-baptist missives to be either lucid or understood.

Now, I know that such will continue to impugn and oppugn our disagreement, challenges, and refutations of their unscriptural tenets. This is their imperceptible right as a Protestants. It is representative of those, who are involved in the "hyper-necessitarianism" heresy, which resort to malevolence towards their adult Baptism only Baptist opponents’ irrefragable, scriptural arguments.

*Now, here is what I really think of Infant baptism. It is an immense, incalculable, immaterial IMAGINATION; an inappropriate, indiscrete, imperious INTERPRETATION; an inept, inconceivable, incompatible, incredible INCONSISTENCY; an improper, improbable, impractical IMPOSSIBILITY; an implacable, inexorable, insufficient IMPERCEPTIBILITY; an impoverished, impecunious, insubstantial INNOVATION; an idiotic, imbecilic, intoxicating INEBRIATION; an idyllic, inane, ideological INCREDIBILITY; an inscrutable, incomprehensible, insupportable INFATUATION; an injudicious, injurious, insidious INSANITY; an illegible, illiterate, inexplicable IMPOSTER; an illegitimate, illicit, invalid, INSINUATION; an infectious, incurable, incorrigible INCONGRUITY; an illegal, indictable, impeachable IMITATION; an irremissible, irremediable, irreparable, irresolvable, IRRECONCILABILITY; an inordinate, indefinite, indescribable, inexcusable, INTUITION; an intolerable, impertinent, irrelevant INTIMATION; an impish, incurious, impetuous INCANTATION; an invidious, intrusive, invective INTRIGUE; an inexact, indistinct, indecipherable INVENTION; an infantile, illative, infeasible, INCORPREALITY; an incredulous, irrational, illogical, unpardonable, PAEDOBAPTISM, whose arguments spread out into shallowness, enlarge into smallness, and increase into nothingness.

-- copied, edited, and adapted by Herb Evans