How to Write an Effective Thesis

~ How to write an effective thesis ~

State your topic and opinion on that topic.
Example:
More and more high school students are working while they attend school, but this trend is not a healthy one.
Topic: high school students who work
Writer's opinion: it isn't healthy for high school students to work
Example:
a) Although there are pros and cons on both sides of the issue, I have decided how I feel about affirmative action. (Okay, and how do you feel? I have no idea! Unclear opinion here.)
b) A number of states are reevaluating their affirmative action laws, creating a great deal of public debate. (Right…and those laws would be? And the process…? Hello? Unclear opinion resurfaces.)
c) Although there are pros and cons on both sides of the issue, I am convinced that affirmative action laws do more harm than good. (Better than the first – but need to get rid of "I" in the thesis. Remember, this is your paper, no need to tell us that repeatedly.)
d) States that have eliminated their affirmative action laws undermine the goals of equal rights initiatives. (Yahoo! And folks, there it is.)

Limit your thesis to one topic. If your thesis mentions two topics, you will be forced to write about two topics, which will split your focus and confuse your reader.
Example:
The violence on television has an adverse effect on children, as does most of MTV's programming. (The two topics here: the adverse effect of television violence on children, and the adverse effect of most of MTV's programming on children. Way too many topics here.)
Better: The violence on television has an adverse effect on children.
Better: Most of MTV's programming has an adverse effect on children.
Express your opinion in specific words. Because the reader relies on the thesis for a clear indication of what the essay is about, the narrowing should be expressed in specific words.
Example:
It is interesting to consider the various meanings of love. (Blah! First, NEVER begin your thesis with the dreaded, ambiguous it! The word "interesting" is vague, and really says nothing to help clarify your ideas. As a reader, I can't be sure what your opinion is.)
Better: We apply the word love to a broad spectrum of emotions.
A thesis takes a stand rather than announcing a subject.
* Announcement: The thesis of this paper is the difficulty of solving our environmental problems.
* Thesis: Solving our environmental problems is more difficult than many environmentalists believe.
A thesis statement justifies discussion.
Ask yourself whether your topic is worthy of your efforts. Avoid topics that are simply not important; these topics may lead to a thesis that is either dry fact or a weird claim that cannot be supported.
A thesis addresses the "so what" question.
Ask your thesis, "so what?" Okay, so you're writing about how obedience contributes to identity. So what? What's your point? Why begin this discussion? What are you trying to prove with that argument? Your thesis must take your argument to a higher, deeper level. I won't kid you here – this is the hard part.

~ A Thesis Checklist ~

Do I answer the question/prompt?

Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? If not, then you probably do not have a strong argument. Theses that are too vague often have this problem. If your thesis contains vague words like "good" or "successful", see if you could be more specific: why is this something "good"; what makes something "successful"?

Does my thesis pass the "So What?" test? Ask whether your thesis presents a position or an interpretation worth pursuing. If a reader's first response is "so what?" then you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to connect to a larger issue. Once a reader says, "this argument has the potential to broaden my understanding of the significance of this topic," then you have successfully passed this test.

Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? Just as a thesis that doesn't answer the question ultimately fails, so does a thesis that isn't properly supported with evidence and reasoning. If your thesis and the body of your essay do not seem to go together, one of them has to change. Generally, this means revising your thesis to capture more precisely the argument in your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your writing as necessary.

~ Thesis Pitfalls to Avoid ~

Avoid broad statements. A thesis too broad will force the writer into a vague, superficial discussion that will never satisfy a reader because it will never get beyond statements of the obvious.
Example:
The role of women has changed drastically in the last fifty years. (Fifty years is a long time; to discuss in depth all the changes in that time span would require more pages than the typical essay.)
Better: The leadership role of women in state politics has changed drastically in the last fifty years.

Avoid stating two opinions. A thesis with two opinions will force you to write about too much and likely read to a superficial treatment of both opinions, which your reader will find unsatisfying. Instead, aim for an in-depth treatment of one opinion.
Example:
Divorce would be less traumatic if custody laws were revised and if attorneys counseled their clients more carefully.
Better: Divorce would be less traumatic if attorneys counseled their clients more carefully.
Better: Divorce would be less traumatic if custody laws were revised.
Avoid factual statements – remember, you are trying to prove something with your thesis! Factual statements leave you, the writer, with nothing to say.
Example:
The water department is considering a rate increase. (yawn)
Better: The water department's proposed rate increase is unnecessary.
Avoid an announcement.
Example:
I will explain why our board of education should consider magnet schools.
Better: Our board of education should consider magnet schools.
The next paragraphs will present the reasons why Americans value youth.
Better: Americans value youth for surprising reasons. (a bit vague, but not an announcement)
Avoid expressions such as "in my opinion," "I believe," "I think," and "it seems to me." YOU are writing the paper, so it is obvious that you're expressing what you think.
Example:
In my opinion, the Women's Center performs a valuable service on campus and deserves a budget renewal.
Better: The Women's Center performs a valuable service on campus and deserves a budget renewal.
Avoid the thesis that states main points to be covered in your essay. This format is overly formulaic, constraining, and elementary. College professors will not accept the "3-prong" formula!
Example:
Working mothers have changed the character of the American family by contributing a second paycheck, by popularizing day care, and by creating a new division of labor in the home. (Note the parallelism in this sentence: each phrase begins the same.)
Main points: the contribution of a second paycheck; the popularizing of day care; a new division of labor in the home (In this type of essay, you would dedicate a paragraph to each of these points. See the formula?)