DEALING WITH LOSS

How to talk with your child about a friend is experiencing a loss

  • Let them know a loss has occurred especially if they are good friends with the child
  • Children from the age of 5 can begin to comprehend loss. Five to six years old may interpret differently as they think something like this only happens to others.
  • Children may relate this to loss of someone in their family. Let them talk and ask questions.
  • Encourage your child to talk,and answer the questions they ask.
  • Depending on age, you must determine if your child is able to visit the funeral home. Respect your child’s decision.
  • Encourage your child to make or buy cards, draw pictures, invite the returning student to play or sit with them at lunch. Cards and pictures may focus on sympathy and looking forward to your return.
  • Let them know they must be a friend but it is best not to bring up the subject unless the student wishes to speak with them. Welcome them back and let them know you’re there for them if they need you.

How can friends help:

  • Children can make cards or pictures.
  • They can help the returning student with homework, school work, or classroom chores.
  • Invite them to play or sit in the cafeteria.
  • Do not ask questions unless the student wishes to talk.
  • Understand there may be changes in how they act and it has nothing to do with them.
  • Welcome them back.
  • Things to say: “Sad to hear that ______.” ,“If you want to talk I can listen.”, “ I’m here for you as a friend.”, “Glad to see you back. We missed you.”

Warning signs that the child may not be coping well:

  • Ask you if they can get help.
  • Never speaks of the loss.
  • Expresses excessive anger.
  • Physical symptoms that are from physical causes that aren’t real physical causes.
  • Changes in social interaction.
  • Change in academics.
  • Guilt.
  • Overachieving.
  • Fear/worry of loss of others.
  • Anxiety.

DEALING WITH LOSS

Books to share:

Memory Book by Kathleen Knoderer

When Dinosaurs Die (A Guide to Understanding Death) by LauieKrasny Brown

There’s a little Bit of Me in Jamey by Diana amadeo

What on Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies?by Trevor romain

The Tenth good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst

Gran-Gran’s Best Tric k by L. Dwight Holden

Always and Forever by Alan Durant