How to make friends and influence people
A HANDBOOK
Introduction and purpose:
Section 1: What is influencing?
Section 2: Why does it matter?
Section 3: Influencing theories / sources of power in organisations
Section 4: Practical application
Section 5: Some tips and advice from others:
5.1 The customer view
5.2 A view from a Director of Communications
5.3 External perspective
Section 6: A guide to running your own masterclass
References/Recommended reading list:
Introduction and purpose:
This handbook supports the Masterclass delivered in April 2015. It is designed to give the reader a solid introduction to the topic. We have included a summary of the key theories in the area of influencing and sources of power. As part of the Masterclass design and delivery we spoke to a policy official, a practicing Government Department Director of Communications and also sought the views and advice of a practitioner from the external private sector. These three perspectives were sought and shared to give the reader a broad set of guidance and advice on the issue. It reflects many years of experience and it is hoped provides useful handy hints which can be put into practice quickly and easily.
We also included a section at the end of the document which would enable the reader to replicate the Masterclass that we ran in April. This includes the approach, timing, hints and tips on pulling one together. We did this as we feel for some learning and sharing knowledge and experience in an interactive session is as valid a learning approach as reading a handbook. We hope this approach and the resource is of some use to our colleagues and others who come across this handbook.
At the end of the document is a reading list. There are man many books written on the subject of influencing. We included those that we referred to in the Masterclass and content of this document. By doing this we hope others benefit from our extensive reading around the subject and get directed to what we believe were the most useful texts to us as a group.
We hope that those who read this Handbook will share it with others and also build on it so that as many people as possible can benefit from the content. We also hope you enjoy reading it – we certainly enjoyed putting it together and delivering the Masterclass.
We are happy to be contacted to discuss the content further.
Karen Hetherington ()
Gary Hughes (
Gavin Jeffries (
Suzy Jenner ()
Section 1: What is influencing?
“There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything…
And that is by making the other person want to do it.”
Daniel Carnegie, ‘How to win friends and influence people’ (1936).
If we look to the dictionary, it suggests that influencing is about the ‘capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behaviours, opinions etc of others’. From a government communications perspective, it can mean influencing policy direction, decisions about the way that change should be delivered and whether or not your campaign matters. Influencing often involves changing people’s minds and while skills in persuasion and making a cohesive argument are without doubt important, there is a layer of more subtle, psychological skills and tricks that we can use (positively) to influence opinion - without being pushy or forceful.
Influencing and learning to do it well is therefore a skill that all communicators need in their toolbox. You may have to influence a policy official, Minister or your Permanent Secretary when making an important decision. Equally you may have to persuade colleagues, your team or your boss to come round to your point of view. We often find ourselves needing to get something done with the help of others, and influencing them so that they want to help you is often one of the most effective ways of getting things done.
Section 2: Why does it matter?
‘Any good communicator should know how to influence. We’re doing it all the time.‘
Director of Communications, Whitehall (2015).
A recentresearch study undertaken by the GCS Inspire Senior Talent programme on Communications Leadership interviewed over 70 communicators from Government department and ALBs across all grades. The aim of the study was to understand what constitutes excellent leadership in communications, the conditions that are necessary for success, and to identify the implications for the future selection and development of leaders for the profession. One of the main findings was the importance of leadership skills - and influencing skills in particular - in communication leadership.
This builds on existing academic research, including the work of Kouzes and Posner (2012) and Berger and Meng (2014), who have been asking leaders, and communication leaders, what they thought was important in terms of their development. The results suggested that
the development of future communications leaders should focus on soft skills, especially change and conflict management, relationship-building, influencing and collaboration.
In the research undertaken by the GCS Inspire Talent Group, Directors of Communications spoke of the need to be at the top table, which clearly requires influencing skills, to get there, to have impact and to be effective, and to stay there. Communications leaders need to be capable of influencing others in the organisation, to help set the direction for communications, not just for their team, but also the organisation and the wider profession.
Some relevant quotes from participants:
‘It’s about clarity – helping the department to understand what it’s trying to do.’
‘A communications leader is aligned to the person at the top but they don’t sit at the top. The relationship with the top is special to communications.’
‘You’re often fighting for a place at the table and for resource. You can be disadvantaged as Policy use a different language and work in an evidence-based way.
‘Communications has to be at the top table to achieve all it can for an organisation.’
‘How can you advise the Permanent Secretary without knowing what they’ve just discussed?’
‘We are professionals; we give advice, just like a lawyer or an accountant.’
Respondents also felt that communications leaders need to be confident in the professional advice they give, confident enough to give it impartially, whether it is acted upon or not. This is especially important in an environment where many people feel that that they can ‘do communications’ without having professional skills, experience or qualifications. This is a view that can gain traction in the absence of any evidence or proof to support the ‘professional’ communications advice.
Quotes:
‘There’s an element of leadership that involves doing something with confidence, without consensus.’
‘You cease to be effective if you tell people what they want to hear, or avoid telling them what they don’t want to hear.’
‘It’s about recognising the opportunity and knowing when to take calculated risks.’
‘We’d never have done it if we hadn’t just decided to do it.’
Respondents tended to hold the view that leadership and communication are inseparable in that:
●Leadership requires good communications skills
●For communicators to be effective, especially in government, they require strong leadership skills and behaviours.
Quotes:
‘You can’t separate being a good communications operator from being a good communications leader.’
‘All leadership attributes are relevant to communications.’
‘No leader can get on without good communications skills.’
‘Management and leadership are as important as communications expertise.’
‘Any good communicator should know how to influence. We’re doing it all the time.’
‘If you want to get on, this (leadership) is fundamental, this is where you have got to shine.’
There seems to be a consensus on the importance of leadership and what it involves from academic research and from current government communications practitioners at all stages of their careers. The role of soft skills including influencing is becoming an increasingly ‘must have’ for those wishing to operate at the top levels. This also aligns closely with the new Civil Service Leadership Statement.
The conditions for success are to some extent suited to government communications, for example, an opportunity to step up in a crisis and increasingly to lead a major change or innovation, Others such as bold decision making and risk taking, influencing at the top table and empowering staff can often prove more difficult in a hierarchical, bureaucratic and risk averse culture, that is used to strong evidence base in policy making.
These extracts demonstrate clearly the importance for today’s and tomorrow’s communications leaders to develop the capacity to influence inside and outside the Boardroom. The opportunities are there if communicators develop strong influencing skills as well as professional communications skills and qualifications.
Extracts from Communication Leadership (2015)
With thanks to authors: David Armstrong, Owen Brace, Karen Hetherington, Gavin Jefferies, Elisabeth Vanderstock, Peter Wilson
Section 3: Influencing theories and sources of power in organisations
There are a number of useful theories and models about influencing. We have chosen some that we think you will find especially useful in your role as a senior communications leader.
3.1 Aristotle: Ethos, Logos and Pathos
One of the earliest – and most influential – theories about influencing is that of Aristotle, a Greek philosopher who lived about 2,300 years ago. Aristotle believed that our ability to appeal to an individual or group of individuals depends on the extent to which we can demonstrate three ‘proofs’ – ‘ethos’, ‘pathos’ and ‘logos’.
●Ethos is about your personal credibility – the extent to which you are seen as trusted, knowledgeable, expert or authoritative.
●Logos is about the logic of your argument and the extent to which you use facts, figures or other evidence to back up your point of view.
●Pathos is about emotion, empathy and beliefs, and the extent to which you connect with people on an emotional level.
In order to influence effectively, it is not enough just to be in a position of authority or to use facts to back up your arguments; you have to demonstrate all three proofs. One simple, practical way of covering ‘pathos’ is to ask the person or persons you are seeking to influence how they feel about a particular issue or a potential course of action. It sounds simple, but it can reveal what is really driving someone’s motivation and the factors that are really likely to influence their decision making.
Underpinning these three ‘proofs’ are what the Roman philosopher Cicero described as the ‘five canons of rhetoric’. You might recognise these as forming the basis of most presentation skills training today! They are:
●Inventio (invention): developing and refining your arguments.
●Dispositio (arrangement): arranging and organizing your arguments for maximum impact.
●Elocutio (style): how you present your arguments using figures of speech and other rhetorical techniques.
●Memoria (memory): learning and memorizing your speech so you can deliver it without the use of notes. Memory-work not only consisted of memorizing the words of a specific speech, but also storing up famous quotes, literary references, and other facts that could be used in impromptu speeches.
●Actio (delivery): practicing how you deliver your speech using gestures, pronunciation, and tone of voice.
As communicators, we know that in terms of personal impact, it’s not just what you say but how you say it. So, in seeking to influence people we need to take care that as well as using
the best possible arguments, that we communicate our ideas and proposals in an engaging way that people can relate to and understand.
3.2 French and Raven: Sources of social power
In 1959, John French and Bertram Raven carried out a highly-influential study of the different sources of social power. They identified six sources of power. The first three, known as ‘positional’ types of power, are: ‘Legitimate’, ‘Reward’ and ‘Coercive’. These powers are concerned with your ability to control the outcomes for the person you are trying to influence.
1. Legitimate power. Holding a particular office, along with social hierarchies and cultural norms can all provide the basis for legitimate power. Legitimate power can be unpredictable and unstable. If you lose the title or position, your power can instantly disappear as others were influenced by the position, not by you. Also, the scope of your power is limited to situations that others believe you have a right to control.
2. Reward power. Your position might enable you to give out rewards, for example, salary increases, promotions, desirable projects or training opportunities If others expect that you'll reward them for doing what you want, there's a high probability that they'll do it. One potential problem is that you might not have control over the rewards you need.
3. Coercive power. Threats and punishment are common tools of coercion. Implying or threatening that someone will lose their job or be demoted are examples of using coercive power. This source of power can also be problematic, and can cause unhelpful behaviour and dissatisfaction in the workplace.
To be an influential leader, you need a more robust source of power than a title or an ability to reward or punish. French and Raven defined three other types of power which are known as ‘personal’ sources of power and are: ‘Expert’, ‘Referent’ and ‘Information’. These are sources of pure influence as it’s the other person who makes a willing decision to cooperate.
4. Expert power. When you have knowledge and skills that enable you to understand a situation, suggest solutions and generally outperform others, people will be more likely to listen to you. When you demonstrate expertise, people tend to trust you and respect what you say and your ideas will have more value, and others will look to you for leadership in that area.
5. Referent power. Referent power is about having charisma and being liked. It’s also about the people and groups we associate with which can also be a source of power and influence. Referent power is most potent when we are uncertain how to behave (and follow the herd instinct of our reference group) or when we are influenced by people who are similar to us.
6. Information power. Information power is especially relevant to us in communications as we can introduce new information into a situation to leverage influence, for example from our
access to Ministers and officials. We can also introduce the voice of the customer, or the media or the stakeholder, by sharing our research and insights.
In summary, by recognizing the different forms of power, you can avoid being influenced by those who use less effective types of power, and you can focus on developing expert and referent power for yourself.
3.3 Robert Cialdini: The science of persuasion
Robert Cialdini is Professor of Psychology and Marketing at Arizona University. His book, the Science of Persuasion’ has sold more than two million copies and has featured on the New York Times best seller list and in Fortune magazine’s Top 75 smartest business books ever.
Cialdini based his theories on research carried out over the last sixty years or so and has condensed all the findings into what he describes as ‘six short-cuts to persuasion’. These are:
1. Reciprocation: People are more willing to comply with requests from those who have provided something first. So, be first to give – first to give advice, do someone a favour, provide some information or a solution to a problem without being asked. Show that you’re looking after the other person’s interests before you ask for anything in return.
2. Commitment/consistency: People are more willing to be influenced if they see something as consistent with an existing or a recent commitment. We like to be consistent with what we have already done. So the ideas of commitment is to make a small request first, as it’s easier to get a small commitment which you can build on as people will want to be consistent with their previous actions.
3. Authority People are more willing to be influenced by someone who they think has relevant authority or expertise. Consider how you position yourself as having authority, which can be formal as a result of your position or because you are seen as an expert, which can mean you just know more about something than others.
4. Social proof People are more willing to be influenced if they think others are doing the same. You may be familiar with this concept as part of ‘nudge theory’ when it is more commonly described as ‘social norms’.
5. Scarcity: People value objects and opportunities and information which are scarce and this will influence their behaviour. The scarcity principle reminds us that it isn’t enough just to talk about the benefits of your proposal – what does the other party stand to lose if they don’t
accept it? That’s why scarcity is important too. People will always act to avoid short-term loss.
6. Liking: People prefer to say yes to those they know and like.
3.4 The Cohen-Bradford model: Influence without authority
This model focuses on the principle of reciprocity (be helpful to other people, and in return. they will be helpful to you). It is considered to be particularly useful when you are trying to influence in situations when you do not have any formal authority.