How to Choose a Guardian for Minor Children

This is one of the most important and difficult questions that parents must answer. If you do not appoint a guardian, a probate judge will have no way of knowing what your wishes would have been. You need to make the choice.

Steps to follow:

  1. Prepare a list of possible guardians
  2. Rate each individual or couple on responsibility, accessibility, lifestyle, moral tenets, opinions on child raising and compatibility with your children.
  3. Consider potential guardians’ ages, if they have children of their own and the ages of the children. For example, people with no children may have difficulty because they never had children. People with two children may not desire more or don’t want a larger family. Individuals with older children may not want younger ones again.
  4. Lifestyle- Most important! Is it compatible with your Christian lifestyle so your children will grow spiritually? It may be necessary to go outside blood relatives. When you have made your choice be sure to discuss it with potential guardians.
  5. Let the children know who you are considering. They might have some surprising input. This could strengthen the bond between children and potential guardians. In some states, children over 14 years old can challenge guardianship.
  6. Meet with the people you are considering to determine where willingness and their viewpoints on issues that are critical to you as parents. You may not find anyone that satisfies all your criteria. Prioritize your criteria and select the best option.
  7. Provide for alternate guardians in case the first choice is unable or unwilling to care for your children. If you are choosing a couple, make provisions for the what-ifs: divorce, death of one parent, etc.
  1. Keep in touch with the guardians you have appointed to advise them of current needs and plans for the children. Observe possible changes in guardians’ attitudes or lifestyles that might cause you to change your choice. Use these meeting to let your children and guardians get to know each other. Your children should be aware of who would be their guardians.
  2. Prepare a memorandum of instructions for the guardians. Include a list of items important to your children’s well-being such as: allergies, medical requirements, family medical history, personality traits, and behavior responses. You can state your personal opinions on allowance, dating, schooling, driving, drinking and other areas of parental discretion.
  3. Provide direction about spending funds to achieve short and long-range goals. Is a car or European vacation more important than college or a nest egg to start a business?

All the above are the ideal- you may not be able to reach these ideals- but through prayerful consideration make the best possible decision. It is a project that will take much time and effort.