How to be polite
vocabulary
tactful
offensive
rude
diplomatic
subtle
personal
disrespectful
blunt
vulgar
respectful
polite
impolite
Mentioning her divorce wasn’t verytactful. You know how sensitive she is about it.
Calling her ‘fat’ was veryoffensive.
Don’t be sorude! Say ‘thank you’ when you are given a present.
You have to be morediplomaticif you want to ask your boss for a pay rise.
The teacher’s criticism was verysubtle. Not everybody noticed it.
Why did you have to make such apersonalcomment about her character? You hurt her feelings.
You were very disrespectful to the guests at the last party. Try to be nice andcivilthis time!
I’ll beblunt– you need to lose weight!
Mark always uses very unpleasant words and gestures when he speaks. He is veryvulgar.
Masa always opens doors for other people. He is veryrespectful.
Sam is verypolite. He always says "please", "thank you", "you're welcome."
It is veryimpoliteto point at people!
WARM-UP questions
1)What are the reasons for being polite?
2)Are the ways of being polite the same in every culture/ country/ relationship/ situation?
3)Do you have any cross-cultural experience regarding politeness?
4)What expressions do we use in English when we make a polite request/ denial?
5)Could you compare them to your mother-tongue expressions?
6)Is politeness only about vocabulary and language? What else can contribute to polite/ impolite behaviour?
7)What instructions would you give someone about being polite in your home culture?
In pairs rewrite these sentences to make them more polite, discuss more possibilities:
1)I won’t come to your party. ……………………………………………………………………
2)I want to use your phone. ………………………………………………………………………
3)Give me a lift to the hotel. ……………………………………………………………………..
4)Close the window. ………………………………………………………………………………….
5)Fill in the registration form. ……………………………………………………………………
6)You've given me the wrong change.……………………………………………………….
7)I'm busy right now. Call me later.…………………………………………………………..
8)It is expensive. Can you give me a discount?......
- What expressions/ phrases/ modal verbs did you use?
watch the video and answer the following questions:
1)Who is Bernard talking to on the phone?
2)What time are they going to meet?
3)What is the customer’s ‘serious’ concern about?
4)What strategy is Bernard using to put the customer in his place?
5)What is the name of the book the second customer urgently asks for?
6)How much is the book?
7)What time is Bernard closing the shop?
Answer the following questions related to the video:
How would you describe the attitude of the first customer?
Was Bernard’s response acceptable in your opinion?
How should have both, Bernard as a shop assistant and the customer, talked to each other?
Idiomatic expressions on politeness and manners:
Match the expressions on the left with the definitions on the right. The examples below might help you to understand the meaning of each idiom.
bow and scrape to say something completely unacceptable
overstep the mark your behaviour is too formal
stand on ceremonyto say something inappropriate, or in the wrong moment
speak out of turnto show politeness and attention in an excessive way
Examples:
- The President was greeted with much bowing and scraping.
- Jenny is angry with her son. He overstepped the mark when he called his grandfather an 'old fool'.
- At the first meeting I was afraid of speaking out of turn.
- We'd be delighted to come and see you but please don't stand on ceremony.