His Holiness Pope Shenouda the Third
MEDITATIONS ON THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
“The Ten Commandments in Christianity”
Book 2: The Fifth Commandment
January 2007
Translated, through the grace of God, by George Ishack,
St. Mary CopticOrthodox Church, Ottawa, Canada
PROLOGUE
The validity and applicability of the ten commandments werenever intended to be solely either during the age of Moses the prophet or during the era of the Old Testament; rather, the ten commandments apply to each and every generation, since, “till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the law till all is fulfilled.” (Matthew 5:18)
Early Christians of the New Testament adopted a sublime interpretation of the Ten Commandments, which is perfectly consistent with present day’s Christianity’s distinct understanding. Therefore, while the Ten Commandments remained steadfast, their scope broadened, insofar as meditation is permitted within the sphere of God’s grace. Profound indeed is David the Prophet’s saying: “I have seen the consummation of all perfection, but Your commandment is exceedingly broad.” (Psalm 119:96)
I have delivered these lectures in 1967, and had them published more than once. Now, I am having them reprinted as they were delivered then.
Shenouda the Third.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page
PROLOGUE2
CHAPTER 1:Natural (biological) parenthood - respect for senior relatives4
- importance of the fifth commandment
CHAPTER 2:Means of honouring fathers and mothers8
success
recognition of our indebtedness to them
support
love and respect
obedience and submission
elements of obedience
CHAPTER 3:The meaning of obedience and submission16
CHAPTER 4:Parents’ obligations towards their children18
CHAPTER 5:To what extent should parents be honoured?24
CHAPTER 6:Other kinds of parenthood - respect and reverence for the saints27
relatives having the parents’ stature
spiritual fatherhood
pitfalls
parenthood by virtue of age
parenthood by virtue of position
CHAPTER 1
Natural (biological) parenthood - respect for senior relatives
importance of the fifth commandment
Literal meaning of the commandment
The intent of the fifth commandment, on the basis of its initial literal interpretation, was honouring the biological parents. However, that meaning prevailed before its scope had widened in humanity’s understanding, and before the scope had attained perfection in Christianity.
Broadening the scope and understanding of the fifth commandment
The scope of the commandment subsequently widened to include close relatives whose stature is similar to that of the parents, such as uncles and aunts, then it included senior family members, and finally it now encompasses our spiritual fathers and leaders, in recognition of their role in guiding and nurturing our mental and spiritual well-being.
This chapter focuses on the natural or biological parenthood, given that the rules thus established are applicable to all the other kinds.
The importance of this commandment
This commandment’s significance becomes apparent when considering its distinct characteristics, cited below.
a)The first commandment addressing human relationships:
The fifth commandment, which concerns honouring the parents, leads those on the second tablet; it precedes the Lord’s instruction to not murder, not commit adultery, etc.... By instituting such a sequence, the Lord desires to impress upon us the profoundness of honouring the parents, and the importance of not taking it lightly: it is as though He is telling us that dishonouring them constitutes a graver offence than a brush with murder, adultery or covetousness, despite the assertion of some, that “God forbid that I should be a murderer!”
b)The first commandment associated with a reward:
St. Paul the apostle said: ““Honour your father and your mother” which is the first commandment with promise....” (Ephesians 6:2) The Lord promised a twofold blessing to those who honour their parents: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 3:6 and Deuteronomy 5:16) Conversely, those who do not honour their parents will have short, miserable lives.
Jacob, the father of fathers, who capitalized on his father’s blindness, tricked him, and cunningly obtained his blessing, substantiated this rule, when he told Pharaoh:
“The days of the years of my pilgrimage are one hundred and thirty years; few and evil have been the days of the years of my pilgrimage, and they have not attained to the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their pilgrimage.” (Genesis 47:9)
c)Failure to honour one’s parents carries a curse and the death penalty:
The Law underlines the importance of this commandment further, by stating that breaking it incurs the death penalty: “And he who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death...... And he who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.” (Exodus 21: 15 & 17) Our Lord re-emphasizes this commandment’s significance in Leviticus: “For everyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him.” (Leviticus 20:9) Referring to this commandment, our Lord Jesus Christ told the Scribes and Pharisees, “For Moses said, “Honour your father and your mother;” and, “He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.”” (Mark 7:10)
Parents belong to a different category, since cursing any person, other than parents, does not carry the penalty of death;rather, in such cases, the penalty consists of the offender being brought before the synagogue, with the possibility of eventual reconciliation.In addition to the death penalty, whoever cursed his father or mother sustained a curse for life; in this regard, the Book of Proverbs tells us: “Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness,” (Proverbs 20:20) and “The eye that mocks his father, and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it.” (Proverbs 30:17)
The penalty of death, furthermore, was not limited to those who cursed or struck their parents; it also applied to obstinate or persistently disobedient children. God addresses this in Deuteronomy: “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obeythe voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, to the gate of his city. And they shall say to the elders of his city, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.” Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones; so you shall put away the evil from among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear.” (Deuteronomy 21:18 - 21)In affirming their conformation to the penalty of a curse on whoever treated his parents with contempt, the Levites would stand on Mount Ebal and “....speak with a loud voice and say to all the men of Israel: “Cursed is the one who treats his father or his mother with contempt.” And all the people shall say, “Amen!”” (Deuteronomy 27:14 - 16)
The curse on Canaan the son of Ham gives a very good insight on the kind of punishment awaiting those who fail to honour their parents; how was that terrible curse brought about? Ham neither disobeyed, cursed, nor struck his father Noah; simply put, rather than cover his father when he saw him naked, he eyed him and called his brothers to join him (Genesis 9:21 - 26) This is why the Canaanites carried a curse for thousands of years.
Even our Lord Jesus Christ, with all His gentleness, tenderness and kindness, confirmed this curse in His dialogue with the Canaanite woman: “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.” (Matthew 15:26) The words “....throw it to the little dogs” seem particularly harsh, especially as they came from the lips of the gentle Christ, and were levelled at a poor woman seeking her daughter’s cure......
This severity, however, confirms our Lord’s sanctioning of the curse that Noah laid on the descendants of his son Ham. It also reinforces our perception concerning the gravity of dishonouring one’s parents.
We note that whileHam’s offspring, the Canaanites, were cursed, Shem and Japheth were blest, because when they heard that their father was naked they, “took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and went backward and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were turned away, and they did not see their father’s nakedness.” (Genesis 9:23)
d)The father’s great stature:
The father is the head of the entire family:not only the children but also their mother. This is because St. Paul tells us, “....the head of woman is man...” (1 Corinthians 11:3) Also, in the old tribal system, the father ruled the family, and the great grandfather was both the tribe’s judge and ruler, thus combining his biological and civil leadership functions.
Prior to the law of Moses, which assigned the responsibility of priesthood to the children of Aaron, the father was also the family’s priest and intercessor. The Bible tells us that Job, for example, used to offer burnt offerings on his children’s behalf, according to the number of them all, since he said, “It may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” (Job 1:5) We have similar situations in the case of our fathers the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
A father’s blessing was a highly-prized acquisition, which a son sought tearfully and ardently - he who has his father’s blessing is also blest by God....In this regard we know how Jacob tricked his father Isaac into blessing him; however, Jacob’s blessing remained valid, and God confirmed it (Genesis 28:1 & 14). On the other hand, the great Esau wept bitterly in his quest for his father’s blessing. (Genesis 27:38)
By the same token, as God confirmed a father’s blessing, He also validated his curse; this is clear in our previous example of Noah, who poured on the Canaanites’ (his grandchildren’s) head the curse of slavery three times: “Then he[Noah] said: “Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants he shall be to his brethren.” And he said: “Blessed be the Lord, the God of Shem, and may Canaan be his servant. May God enlarge Japheth, and may he dwell in the tents of Shem; and may Canaan be his servant.”” (Genesis 9:25 - 27) As we have also seen, this threefold curse was upheld by our Lord in His conversation with the Canaanite woman. Finally, in Genesis 49 we read how the Lord confirmed all the blessings and rulings that Jacob, our father and patriarch, had imparted to his children, such that they were all realized in their entirety.
e)God likened His love to the father’s and mother’s tenderness:
This is one of the greatest proofs of the importance of the parents’ stature. In His desire to emphasize the depth of His relationship with us, our Lord chose to liken it to the father’s and mother’s tenderness. God is the Master of all creation - it is entirely the work of His hands, and subject to His authority; furthermore, we often call Him “our Lord.”
However, our tender God prefers the title of “Father” due to its implied love and gentleness. For this reason, when our Lord and Saviour taught us the Lord’s Prayer, He never requested that we address it to our Lord, the Ruler and Creator, rather, to “Our Father Who art in heaven....” There are numerous verses in the New Testament which fully convey the meaning of God’s love and kindness, and which prove His fatherhood;examples are:
*When our Lord Jesus Christ spoke of our needs, He said: “Therefore do not worry,....For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.” (Matthew 6:31 & 32) Also, “.....how much more will your Father Who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:11)
*When He spoke about the kingdom, He told us, “Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” (Luke 12:32)
*When He spoke about doing charitable deeds secretly, He repeatedly said: “....and your Father Who sees in secret will reward you openly.” (Matthew 6:6)
God’s fatherhood, emphasized in the New Testament, is not a new concept; it was clear since the beginning, and wasmentioned in the earliest chapters of Genesis. The story of the flood starts with the introduction, “....the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were beautiful;....” (Genesis 6:2) Therefore God, in His marvellous fatherhood, did not hesitate to refer to humans as His children, even in the depth of sin. Prophets of the Old Testament, who felt God’s fatherhood, called upon Him saying: “Doubtless You are our Father....You, O Lord, are our Father; our Redeemer from everlasting is Your name.” (Isaiah 63:16) And “But now, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You our potter; and all we are the work of Your hand.” (Isaiah 64:8)
We thus see the extent to which God has raised the stature of fatherhood: not only did He call Himself a Father to us, but He also likened His love unto a mother’s tenderness, since He said: “Jerusalem, O Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!” (Matthew 23:37) Here, He likens His love unto a mother-hen’s in her tenderness towards her chicks. The Lord even goes further to say that His tenderness surpasses a mother’s who can never “...forget her nursing child,...” (Isaiah 49:15)
God, in His tenderness, is our Father; analogously, the Church is our mother. We are all the Church’s children, as St. Paul said, “My little children, for whom I labour in birth again until Christ is formed in you.” (Galatians 4:19) The Church has given birth to us in the baptismal font, she nourished us with the milk of sound instruction, and we have lived in her bosom throughout the ages, enjoying her love and guidance.
“God’s fatherhood, and the Church’s motherhood.”
CHAPTER 2
Means of honouring fathers and mothers
Each one of us could very well say, “I am fully convinced of the significance of this commandment, and of my obligation to honour my parents. But how can I do this?”
SUCCESS:
Let us start with success which, undoubtedly, is one way of honouring one’s parents. Your success is a source of pride for your parents, and a source of joy for their hearts. True indeed are the words of the Good Book: “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother.” (Proverbs 10:1) Also, “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him.” (Proverbs 23:24)
On the other hand, the Bible tells us that a son’s foolishness (leading to his failure) results in his parents’ grief and embarrassment:“A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him.” (Proverbs 17:25) Also, “He who begets a scoffer does so to his sorrow, and the father of a fool has no joy.” (Proverbs 17:21); and even more,“A foolish son is the ruin of his father,....” (Proverbs 19:13).
History gives us a long list of parents whose successful children were a pleasure to them. Hannah rejoiced in her son Samuel, and the prosperous Joseph was a joy to his father. Above all, we have the ultimate example of the Holy Virgin, who delighted in her Son Jesus, Who, “....increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men.” (Luke 2:52); her Son honoured her through His perfect life, that was admired by all.
At the other end of the spectrum, we have examples of failures who were a source of grief for their parents. The Bible tells us that, because of Esau’s poor judgment, his wives “...were a grief of mind to Isaac and Rebekah.” (Genesis 26:35) We also know that St. Augustin, in his early wandering years, was the cause of his mother Monica’s flood of bitter tears.
I therefore urge you, my beloved children, to be successful in your lives, thus honouring your parents, by being their joy.
RECOGNITION OF OUR INDEBTEDNESS TO THEM:
This is another important element of honouring one’s parents, which cannot be over-emphasized. There is no need to read books on psychology or medicine to appreciate a mother’s endurance and suffering during pregnancy or during childbirth. A mother carries her child for nine months in her womb, labours through childbirth, nurses and cares for her child throughout the initial months and years of childhood, comforts her child through periods of fear, pain and sickness, spends many sleepless nights watching over her newborn, and sacrifices her comfort and well-being for those of her child. A mother may even have to forego church attendance to accomodate the needs and requirements associated with her pregnancy and childbirth. On the other hand, any shortcomings on the part of a mother’s caring would become immediately apparent in her child’s health and safety. Briefly, no human being can ignore or forget his/her mother’s favours. Some of us might say, “I acknowledge my mother’s selfless and painstaking efforts in my upbringing, but now she is quite bothersome!” Even in such a case, we must continue to recognize our indebtedness to our mothers: she caried me as a child, I must carry and support her in her old age....