Guru Paramartha and His Five Disciples

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GURU PARAMARTHA AND HIS FIVE DISCIPLES

Long long ago in a little village in South India, there lived a poor aged simpleton called Paramartha.He was a bogus guru who had five equally bogus disciples.Thier names were Mudhead, Fool, Weakling, Mleccha and Rascal.Since all gurus and their disciples live in asramas, they did too and their activities and experiences together were many.

One morning the guru and his disciples set out for a temple in a neighbouring village.On the way Paramartha explained life to his eager disciples.'Its so simple,' he said,'Life is what all livinhg things have and because of it , all living things move. Look at this tree - its leaves move and so we can safely say that it is a living thing, do you understand?'

'O great and wonderful guru,'his disciples chorused, 'you explain the most difficult things in the simplest ways. How fortunate we are to be your disciples.'

Soon they came upon a river and the guru called for one of his more senior men.'Rascal, tell me, is this river a living thing?'

'Absolutly!',replied Rascal, 'It moves, therefore it has life.'

'Excellent!',beamed the guru,'You have a very good grasp of our philosophy. Now, I have a more practical question for you.

Do you know whether this river is asleep or awake? I know from previous experiance that this is a very cunning river. We must be very careful in our dealings with it. Before venturing across it we need to know whether it is asleep or awake. Please go and check the situation.'

Rascal, eager to please his guru, ran to the riverbank. With plan in mind, he searched for an old, dry tree branch. After finding one he set fire to it and thought,'I will burn the river and then Ill know whether it is asleep or not.'

As soon as Rascal put the burning branch in the water he heard a loud hissing sound. It frightened him so much that he fell over. Shivering and shouting, he jumped up and ran to his guru.

'O guruji, now is not a good time to cross this river. It is very much awake! As soon as I touched it, it hissed loudly and covered me with smoke. It was so angry that I was afraid that it would get up and hit me. It was only by your great mercy and the mercy of my parents that I came back alive...what a terrible experience.'

'Please calm down Rascal,'said the guru. 'What can we do, we have to accept this as the arrangement of God. We will just have to wait until the river falls asleep.'

And so Guru Paramartha and his disciples took shelter of a nearby garden and discussed the cunning nature of the river they were attempting to cross. Fool, one of the more philosophically inclined of the disciples, said,'Guru Maharaja, I have heard a great deal about this river. We cannot afford to underestimate its prowess. My grandfather has had personal experience of its temperament. He is a very successful merchant and one day, returning from one of his business ventures, he happened to pass this way. His assistants and two donkeys laden with salt bags, accompanied him. It was summer and the day was hot. They decided to take bath and give the donkeys some rest. Both men and donkeys stepped into the cool waters of the river, bathed and then spent some time under the green, shady trees. When the heat of the day had passed they again went on their way. The party had not been travelling long when one of the asisstants shouted in dismay,'Oh no! master, look! The salt bags are still well stitched but they are wet and their is no salt in them. Where has tit gone? Who is responsible for this?'

'Actually we are very fortunate,'replied my grandfather, after some thought, 'If this river had not been able to rob us of our salt, it may have become angry and swallowed all of us. We have been saved by God, we are very fortunate indeed.'

And so all the servants were satisfied and continued on their way. Just as Fool spoke these words, a man on a horse came by. Despite the warnings of the disciples, he entered the river and quickly and easily reached the other side.

'What an extraordinary feat!',the amazed Guru Paramartha exclaimed. 'Yes' said all his disciples.

'Guruji,'said Weakling, as they watched the horseman disappear into the distance, 'If you had a horse all our problems would be solved. We wouldn't have to worry about these tricky rivers any more. Wre could easily cross them. Why dont we buy a horse?'

'We can discuss this later 'replied the guru,'Right now we have more important matters at hand. Evening has come and I think that the river is now sleeping, otherwise how could that horseman cross it so easily? Yes, I'm confident it is now asleep. Mudhead, please go and check.'

Mudhead, though eager to please his guru, as not the most intelligent of his disciples.

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'This is a very difficult task,' thought Mudhead,'I dont want to displease Guruji and so I will use Rascals system to check if the river is sleeping.Yes -better to follow a proven path, now where is that branch he used?'

Finally he found the branch, black and wet as it was, and ran to the rivers edge, gingerly he plunged it into the river and to his relief no sound or smoke came from the water.

'Ah, guru maharaja will be pleased'Quietly he tiptoed back ot his fellow pilgrims.'Dear guru maharaja, this is the time, we must go now.This opportunity may not come again so easily.The river is presently in deep sleep.Please dont make any noise and step very carefully. If we go now and are cautious, the river will not wake up and we will be able to cross it without difficulty, come.'

as soon as Guru Paramartha and his disciples heard this they immeadiatly got up and slopwly, step bystep,began to cross the river.Hearts palpitating, ears magnifying the smallest sound,they stealthily waded across the river.When what seemed like an eternity had passed,they finally reached the other side.Immeadiatly three of the disciples began jumping and dancing in ectasy.'Guru maharaja, how wonderful you are, by your mercy we have finally crossed this terribly dangerous rover. All glories to you. What power! What intelligence! What-'

'Dont be too happy yet,'Fool interupted, 'Let us first check whether in fact we did all arive safely on this side.'And with that he began the members of the party.As his name suggests, Fool wasnt the most intelligent of men and hence he forgot to include himself while counting.

'Oh no!What a loss! What a great loss!' he exclaimed. 'When we arrived at the rivers edge, we were six in number and now we are only five.We have lost a person. What a treacherous river!Whata a disaster!'

'Wait,'said his guru,'dont be too quick in your conclusions.This is not hte characteristic of a sober man.All of you sit down and I wil count.'

And so Guru Paramartha began to count.Being a simpleton, he too forgot to count himself.Once, twice, thrice he counted and each time he did so he found one man missing in the party.Confused, he locked his skinny legs in padmasana and meditated on the matter for some time. Finally, he opened his eyes and soberiety and detatchment spoke to his disciples, 'we must see this as the arrangement of God. We have lost a man to this cruel river.Even while sleeping it has managed to cause some mischief.This loss has deeply affected my heart , but what to do?We must remember we are sadhus and so we must remain aloof from the influence of distress.'

In a state of panic his disciples frantically began to count and each came to the same conclusion - there were now only five men.A mood of intense lamentation filed the air and all the disciples began crying and rolling on the ground.The screaming and crying became so intense that Guru Paramartha lost all composure and began cursing the river,

'O evil minded river!What a candala you are! Have you no mercy? Were you not born with brothers and sisters? Cant you understand the grief you have caused us? My disciples are such a wonderful and intelligent group of men, an inspiration to any guru, and now you have so callouslly swallowed one of them -even though we were considerate enough not to disturb your sleep, you still cheated us.Being sadhus we will not take action against you, but rest assured, one day you will also be cheated.'

Like mad men, the guru and his disciples continued to curse and cry.The air was pierced with the arrows of their loud abuses, anger and lamentation.

At that time a pilgrim was passing that way and he was amazed by the strange sight and the intensity of the noise.'What a curious sight', he thought, 'Why are these people so disturbed I wonder?Let me make some inquiry into the matter.' And so he walked up to them and said,

'My dear sirs, whatever is the matter?Why are you in such distress?Has someone died?Please tell me."

'My dear friend', sobbed the guru,'You could not possibly understand our grief.Previosly I had five wonderful disciples, but now, by the mischief of this heartless river, I only have four.What to do?'

Hearing this the pilgrim himself counted the men and saw that factually there were six members altogether, 'What a group of simpletons', he mused' Let me see what fun I can get out of them.'

Offering obeisances to the guru, the pilgrim said, 'Swami, I can understand your grief.This river is indeed a cruel one.Please allow me to assist you. I am very expert in the Atharva Veda, I know all about ghosts, Dakinis, Gandharvas and all those things and they are all under my control and follow my instructions.If you give me a little daksina é will call your disciple back from his watery grave. It is my duty to help sadhus like your holy self.

Hearing this, the guru became overwhelmed with joy."dear sir', he lauded, 'You are a godsend, We are prepared to give you whatever money we have as daksina in order to retrieve our poor comrade.'

The pilgrim could not belive his luck when he heard these words and was quick to display his mystic oppulences.

'My dear friends', he said as he theatrically took a large stick from his bag, 'All of you must stand in line, bend over and close your eyes. Donty move or open your eyes, but when I touch you, you must say 'here i am' and give your name . In this way I will be able to bring your dear friend back to you.Do you understand?'

"Yes, yes", they all chimed eagerly and they all stood in line."Right!" said the 'mystic', rolling up his sleeves, "Please close your eyes and we will begin."The men all closed their eyes and waited. Within seconds they heard a very loud 'thwack!'followed by their guru screaming

"Enough, enough!I am here, Paramartha Guru."

They then heard the pilgrim count in a matter- of- fact manner,"One!"Trembling at the Knees, each disciple peeked through half - closed eyes to see what had happened. T he pilgrim cum mystic was brandishing his large stick and their old guru was still on the ground trying to recuperate from the severe blow.Frightened and feeling sick at heart, they all looked to Rascal, the seniormost disciple.What was he going to do? Recognizing the seriousness of the situation Rascal braced himself for the inevitable and decided to try to set a good example, come what may.He was just in time as he was next to recieve a blow,"OWWW!I am Rascal,I am here", he yelled as rapidly as he could."Two!"said the pilgrim

And so one after the other, each man got a sound beating as the pilgrim counted upto six, then he said, "Please open your eyes. Now as you can plainly see, you are six again. I have sucessfully recalled your lost man.Please give me my daksina and be happy."

Guru Paramartha checked the number of his disciples three times and finally convinced that they were all present, he gladly gave the pilgrim all the gold coins in his posession, who , overjoyed, went on his merry way.The guru and his disciples embraced each other and marvelled at their good fortune.In this way, they collected their few belongings and returned to their asrama - this time returning over a bridge.

For many a day Guru Paramartha and his disciples discussed their adventure.Very elaboratly they described how they eventually managed to cross the river and still lose a person.They were astounded at how a heaven - sent messanger had brought back their missing man for a mere 45 gold coins.

meanwhile, the old lady hired to do the cleaning in the asrama, listened carefully.Though she was blind, her hearing was as sharp as her wit.

"Dear swamiji", she said,"You have been badly cheated and lost 45 gold coins unecassarily.Your difficulty was not a serious one - certainly not worth 45 gold coins.The solution is, next time you want to cross a river and want to count your men, you just take with you some wet cow-dung.Then, when you have crossed, add some waterto the dung, knead it and make a big pancake out of it.Then put the pancake on the ground and all sit around it, very carefully, one after the other, put your noses in it and make bold, clear impressions.The rest is quite simple.Just stand up and count the imprints in the dung.In this way you can easily check how many people are present and save yourself 45 gold coins."

"A wonderful idea!"exclaimed Guru Paramartha, "What a very intelligent lady you are.Mudhead, next time you must definatly pack some wet cow-dung - a fabulous idea."

In the meantime, Weakling had been meditating on something else-

"Dear guruji, why dont we buy a horse?Do you remember how easily that man crossed the river? Life would be so much easier if we had our own horse."

'Hmmm!" said the guru deliberating on the matteer,"How much do you think a new horse would cost?"

"No less than 100 gold coins",replied Rascal.

"Well, we certainly dont have that much money.Well have to forget about the idea for now,"concluded the guru.

And so the proposition was postponed and life went on as usual, until one day the asrama cow, which had been left to graze in the pastures, went missing.Guru Paramartha sent his disciples all over the village to find it.Eager to serve their spiritual master, they all searched high and low, leaving no stone unturned.However, to their dismay, the search was fruitless.

"What shall we do now?"they wailed , looking at each other pitifully."How can we go back to guru maharaja?He will be so upset to hear that we failed to find his cow."Then Mudhead said-

"Well my brothers, Im not going back to the asrama until I find it. Im going to search the next town and ther next one if necessary. Good day!"

And so he left.A little bewildered, the other disciples just stood staring at him as he walked away into the distance.Then Rascal said,"Come on, lets go back to the asrama. Our gurudeva will be concerned about us."

For three days Mudhead was absent. Then on the fourth day he returned tired and cowless, but still happy.

"Why are you smiling, you idiot?"Guru Paramartha growled, "Youve been gone from the asrama for four days now , and you return with nothing but a stupid grin on your face - wheres the cow?"

"Guru Maharaja, wait until you hear the good news", replied Mudhead, "true, I was unable to find the cow. However, I found something much better.I managed to get a cheap price on a horse."

The angry look on the gurus face faded away as he heard this, "Really!" he said "Well that sounds wonderful. Tell me all the details."And so Mudhead related his story-

"Well, I was looking for the asrama cow. I searched so many nearby towns , peoples gardens, public parks, sadhus asramas - I left no place untouched. But try as i did , I couldnt find the cow.So feeling depressed, I was walking along the bank of a lake , then by your causless mercy and the mercy of God, I saw a most amazing sight. There were four female horses grazing and next to them were two huge horse eggs. They were so big two hands were not large enough to hold one, let alone two.Then I noticed a local villager passing by.'Kind sir', I said, 'Who owns these wonderful horses?'