Guidance for Leadership Teams: Handling Congregational Grievances

Good communication is important for the overall health of a church. Good communication is honest, direct, and gracious. When conflicts arise, the communication patterns of a church can help or hinder resolution of conflict. Churches that are accustomed to talking indirectly (i.e., gossiping; talking about each other, rather than to each other; or ignoring issues and not talking but acting out instead, etc.), or communicating in hurtful ways (i.e., making accusations and generalizations, not listening, etc.) can find themselves stuck in conflict. Churches that have a culture of healthy communication can use conflicts within their congregation to deepen and grow the best features of their community. Communication patterns – healthy or unhealthy – are established (and changed) one conversation at a time.

Leadership Teams (LT) are typically charged to “hear and respond appropriately to concerns of members” (Article II, section 11). As those who most fully understand the mission, priorities, and ministries of the church, the LT is best equipped to determine the relative significance of specific concerns of congregants and the avenues for resolving those concerns. Handling congregational grievances well strengthens a culture of healthy communication and conflict resolution in the church.

Matthew 18:15-17 presents a biblical model of conflict resolution with fellow believers. The first step is for the hurt individual to talk directly, one-on-one, with the other person. If this private conversation (or series of conversations) is not sufficient to bring about reconciliation, one or two more believers can accompany the individual, with the intent to objectively listen for and speak truth. If this step does not bring about reconciliation and resolution, then the matter can be brought to the church, with the hope of restoration in community. Should this effort fail, the offending individual should be treated with the same expectations and grace as a non-believer. Matthew 18:15-17 should serve as general guidelines forresolving conflicts, even when the concerns involve pastoral staff.

When a concern or complaint is brought to the Leadership Team, the following steps are encouraged:

  1. Ask whether the individual has prayed about their concern. If not, encourage them to talk to God first in all matters of life before they talk to other people. (God uses the circumstances of our lives to transform us, and not everything that offends us has to be addressed with the other person.)
  2. Ask whether the individual has talked to the offending person directly. If not, encourage him/her to do so and to resolve the matter privately. Encourage the individual to refrain from talking to others about the situation, to avoid gossiping or involving other people unnecessarily.
  3. If the individual has prayed about it but does not feel they can approach the other person privately, a LT member may offer to accompany the individual to have a “one-on-one” conversation rather than formally bringing the matter to the LT. The goal of the conversation should be on reconciling the relationship.
  4. If the individual has prayed about it and talked privately to the other person but has not been able to resolve the matter or reconcile, the matter can be prayerfully considered and addressed by the LT. Multiple courses of action can be considered, including:
  5. Having one or two LT members meet with the congregant to offer support and biblical counsel. Discernment should be exercised about the need to facilitate relationship reconciliation versus the need for leadership to address the content of the individual’s concerns.
  6. Having one or two LT members meet with the congregant and the other person to facilitate conversation and reconciliation.
  7. Having the matter heard and considered by a subcommittee of the LT, or in more serious matters, by the entire LT.
  8. Bringing in an outside consultant or third party to facilitate resolution, with a designated LT member as liaison.
  9. Concerns or complaints involving possible pastoral misconduct require additional action. The Board of Ordered Ministry and PSWC Conference staff should be contacted for support and guidance.

Guiding principles in all of these discussions are to seek God’s perspective and wisdom (Jeremiah 17: 9-10), to encourage self-introspection rather than casting blame (Matthew 7:3-5), to exercise forgiveness and grace toward one another (Colossians 3:12-14), to usehealthy communication skills (James 1:19), to takerestorative actions (Ephesians 4:3), and to be reconciledfor unity in the Body of Christ (1 Corinthians 1:10).

Jean Cheng Gorman, PSWC Director of Ministerial Health