November 15, 2006
GROB: All about picking games and noses
By JAMES GROB, Courier sports editor
I’ve had a few embarrassing public moments in my life.
Back in second grade, during the Punt, Pass and Kick competition, I finished with negative points. My punt actually went back over my head and landed behind me, and I tripped and fell as I approached my kick, somehow giving myself a bloody nose in the process. My blood got all over the football, and those in charge of the event decided it would be best to get an entire new football rather than use the bloodied one.
This decision delayed competition for several minutes, and the competitors and the crowd became surprisingly unruly. My nose and my lack of coordination were nearly responsible for a hostile riot at a community youth event.
My pass wasn’t all that bad, by the way, but the punt and the kick were humiliating enough to make any individual run crying to Mommy. Fortunately, I didn’t bleed all over her.
A few years later, I was decked by the biggest weakling in the sixth grade. I may or may not have had it coming, and I should note that it was a cheap shot.
He blind-sided me.
Regardless, when the biggest weakling in the sixth grade decks you, you’re pretty much starting over from scratch. What little credibility I had as a tough guy had vanished, and the hill of life I was already struggling to climb became substantially steeper on that day.
There were a few other painfully awkward and embarrassing moments through junior high and high school — most of those had something to do with attractive females. I’ve had a few more as an adult, but I’m happy to say that I was able to eventually recover from most of them.
But I don’t know if I can recover from this one.
This past weekend, I went 0-for-10 in the Fearless Football Forecast.
A big old zero.
If you follow The Courier sports section, you know that throughout the football season we have a little contest that’s just between us sports guys. Sports writers Scott Jackson, Kelly Terpstra and I attempt to pick the winners of 10 different games each week from the high school, college and NFL ranks. None of us are very good, but we’re not all that bad, either. We keep a running tally, we talk a little smack, and lots of readers seem to take an interest. Although some people get mad at us when we pick against their favorite teams, most realize it’s all in good fun, and I think we’re just bad enough that football fans can justifiably feel like they’re smarter we are.
At the end, we award ourselves little first, second and third place trophies — generously donated by Ottumwa’s own Bill Kramer — which we can keep on our desks until next season.
The first place trophy has been in my possession since last season, and the guys want to take it from me.
Sports writer Scott Jackson — who captured the first place trophy two seasons ago before I dethroned him last year — seems to be taking the Forecast a little too seriously lately. A couple weeks back, I got seven out of 10 games correct, but when Scott put it into the newspaper, he changed it to six out of 10.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that Scott intentionally cheated. Scott may be one of the most honest and sincere men I’ve ever met. I don’t think he’d ever try to cheat anyone.
I just think that maybe — just maybe — subconsciously Scott wants my majestic first place trophy so bad that his unconscious mind forced his finger to type the number 6 instead of 7, keeping the contest a little closer than it really was. Fortunately, I caught the mistake. Otherwise we might have been subjected to our own little Florida-recount “hangin’ chad” type of scenario, which would have been bad for all parties involved.
Sports writer Kelly Terpstra, on the other hand, doesn’t give any outward indication that he covets my gorgeous, shiny first place trophy.
But I know he does.
Kelly has never been in possession of my first place trophy, and though he plays it cool, I have no doubt that he’d like nothing more than to wrest it from my hands. Sometimes late at night here at the office, as we’re finishing up the sports pages, I see Kelly staring at my trophy, probably picturing it on his desk.
Make no mistake. Kelly wants to win the Fearless Football Forecast.
None of that would even be an issue this year had I just played it smart last week. I’d trailed Scott for most of the season — just toying with him — until a few weeks back, when I made my move. With cat-like swiftness I pounced and took the lead. Before last weekend, I had expanded my lead to the point where it seemed like neither Scott or Kelly could catch me.
Then, last weekend, I reached the ultimate milestone for futility. I went an unbelievable 0-for-10.
Now, with one weekend of football picks left, Scott and I are tied and Kelly is within easy striking distance.
The game’s afoot.
We’ve never had a Fearless Football Forecast come down to the wire like this, and this weekend’s games will be very interesting and difficult to prognosticate. Not only is Dan McCarney’s last game at Iowa State included, but Iowa battles Minnesota for both Floyd of Rosedale and Bowl Position.
Plus top-ranked Ohio State hosts No. 2 Michigan. You heard about that one? It’s been in all the papers.
And don’t forget all the state football championship games.
There’s much at stake, and the pressure’s on. It’s going to be exciting.
You can see all of our picks in Friday morning’s paper. Here’s hoping my nose doesn’t bleed on it.