Good Will Hunting
Transcript
Classroom
LAMBEAU: Mod f(x) squared dx. So, please finish Percival, by next time. And I know many of you had this as undergraduates, but it won't hurt to brush up . . . . Thank you, Steven . . . . I also put an advanced Fourier system on the main hallway chalkboard. I'm hoping that one of you might prove it by the end of the semester. Now, the person to do so will not only be in my good graces, but also go on to fame and fortune by having their accomplishment recorded and their name printed in the auspicious MIT Tech. Former winners include Nobel Laureates, Fields Medal Winners, Renowned Astrophysicists, and lowly MIT professors. Well, that's all. If you have any questions, I'm sure that..Tom has the answers.
KRYSTYN: Hi, Will.
WILL: Hey, Krystyn. How're you doin'?
KRYSTYN: Alright...
CHUCKIE: I didn't get on Cathy last night.
WILL: No?
CHUCKIE: No...
WILL: Why not?
CHUCKIE: I dunno. Cathy!
CATHY: What?
CHUCKIE: Why didn't you give me none of that nasty little Hoochie Woochie you usually throw at me?
CATHY: Oh, Fuck you. And your Irish curse, Chuckie. Like I'd waste my energy spreading my legs for that Tootsie Roll dick? Go home and give it a tug yourself.
MORGAN: TOOTSIE ROLL! TOOT, TOOTS!
CHUCKIE: She's missing a tooth, Will. She's got skin problems. Plus, it's like five to two Morgan ends up marryin' her, you know what I mean? There's only so many times you can bang your friend's future wife. . . .Where're you goin'?
WILL: I'm gunna' take off.
CHUCKIE: Fuck you, you're takin' off. It's like..What?..Ten o'clock?
WILL: I'm tired.
CHUCKIE: Irish curse...no, no...no Irish curse.
Batting Cage at Funland
CHUCKIE: Stop brushing me back.
WILL: Stop crowdin' the plate....Which one'll it be?
CHUCKIE: You're gunna' get charged, you know that.
WILL: You think I'm afraid of you, you big fuck? You're crowdin' the fuckin' plate.
CHUCKIE: Hey, uh...Casey's bouncin' up a bar, uh..at Harvard next week. We should up there.
WILL: What're we gunna do up there?
CHUCKIE: 'dunno. Fuck up some smart kids. You'd probably fit right in....What're you doin'? Hey, What's up? You still tough? Com'on!
MIT Reunion
BARBERSHOP QUARTET#1,2,3,4 (singing) I love you forever, here in my heart...
MIT STUDENT: Professor Lambeau.
LAMBEAU: Yes?
MIT STUDENT: I'm in your applied theories class. We're all up at the Math and Science building.
LAMBEAU: Come 'ere...It's Saturday! Unless you wanna' have a drink with me tonight.
MIT STUDENT: . . . . Maybe . . . . We just couldn't wait until Monday to find out.
LAMBEAU: Find out what?
MIT STUDENT: Who proved the theorem.
MIT Hallway
LAMBEAU: This is correct. Who did this? Jack?
MIT STUDENT: Wasn't me.
LAMBEAU: Nemesh?
MIT STUDENT: No way.
Little League Game
CHUCKIE: Run, Joey, yeah!
WILL: Look, McNamara's up.
CHUCKIE: Com'on, kid!...
BILLY: Hey, Morgan. Who's the girl with the striped pants? She's got a nice ass.
MORGAN: That's her own nice ass. (That's a real nice ass)
BILLY: Who's the guy she's with?
MORGAN: That fucking ginny. I hate that little bitch. Will knows him.
WILL: That fuckhead Carmine Scarpaglia (?). That kid used to beat the shit outta' me in kindergarten.
BILLY: That guy?
WILL: Yeah.
BILLY: O.
MORGAN: Let's get some food.
CHUCKIE: Hey, what, Morgan? You're not gunna talk to her?
MORGAN: Fuck her.
WILL: I'm good for a Whopper.
BILLY: I don't wanna Whopper. (walk?)
MORGAN: Let's go to Kelly's.
CHUCKIE: Morgan, we're not goin' to Kelly's just cus' you like the takeout girl. It's 15 minutes out of our way.
MORGAN: What the fuck are we gunna do, we can't spare 15 minutes?
CAR
MORGAN: Double burger. . . . .double burger?...... Chuck, I had a double burger!
CHUCKIE: Would you shut the fuck up. I know what you ordered. I was there.
MORGAN: So, give me my fuckin' sandwich.
CHUCKIE: Whaduya mean, "your sandwich?" I bought it....Morgan, how much money you got on you?
MORGAN: I set out your change, right. Get the snowcone (?) I said that before, when we pulled up. Why don't you just give me my sandwich, and stop being a prick?
CHUCKIE: All right, well, give me your fucking 16 cents that you got on you now, and we'll put your fuckin' sandwich on layaway. There we go. Keep it right up here for ya', and we'll put you on a program. Every day you come in with your six cents, and at the end of the week you get your sandwich.
MORGAN: Don't be an asshole...
CHUCKIE: What am I? Your fuckin' sandwich welfare? I think you should establish a good line of credit. Like how you bought your couch. Payment plans. Remember? Your mother brought in ten dollars every day for a year..she finally got a couch rent-a-center style.
MORGAN: Can I have my food now, please?
CHUCKIE: Here's your fuckin' double burger.
WILL: Hey, hold up Chuck. Slow it down.
CHUCKIE: What do we got?
WILL: I dunno, yet.
MORGAN: Ah, Will...we just seen the guy 15 minutes ago at the ballgame. If we was gunna' fight him him we shoulda' fight him then, but we got snacks, now.
CHUCKIE: Shut up, Morgan, you're goin'.
MORGAN: I'm not goin'.
CHUCKIE: So, don't go.
MORGAN: I'm not goin'.
BILLY: So, don't fuckin' go, Morgan.
CHUCKIE: Let me tell you somethin'. If you're not out there in two fuckin' seconds, when I'm done with them, you're next.
Outside
WILL: Carmine! It's me! It's me, Will, remember? We went to kindergarten together. . . .
CHUCKIE: Will...... Will.....Cops!
WILL: Fuck......
Lecture Hall
LAMBEAU: Is it just my imagination or has my class grown considerably? Well, by no stretch of my imagination do I believe you've all come here to hear me lecture. But rather to ascertain the identity of the mystery math magician. So, without further ado, come forward silent rogue and receive thy prize...... Well, I'm sorry to disappoint my spectators, but it seems there will be no unmasking here today. However, um...my colleagues and I have conferred, and there is a problem on the board right now that took us more than two years to prove. So, let this be said: the gauntlet has been thrown down, but the faculty have answered, and answered, with vigor.
Outside Court Building
CHUCKIE: Hey. When's the arraignment?
WILL: Next Week.
MIT Hallway
WILL: Sorry.
LAMBEAU: What're you doing?
WILL: Sorry.
LAMBEAU: That's people's work, you can't graffiti here. Don't you walk away from me!
WILL: Hey, fuck you!
LAMBEAU: Oh, you're a clever one. What's your name? . . . . . Oh my god...
TOM: Looks Right.
Street Outside Bow and Arrow Pub, Cambridge
MORGAN: Boy, I always saw how stupid you need to be to get fired from that job. I mean, how hard is it to push a mother-fuckin' broom around a room.
CHUCKIE: Bitch, you got fired from pushing a fuckin' broom.
MORGAN: I got fired because management was restructuring.
BILLY: Yeah, restructuring the amount of retards they had workin' for 'em.
MORGAN: Shut up. You get canned more than tuna, bitch.
BILLY: At least I got a mother-fuckin' job right now, don't I?
MORGAN: Yeah.
BILLY: Why did you get fired, Will, com'on.
WILL: 'ell, management was restructuring.
CHUCKIE: My uncle could probably get you on the demo team.
WILL: Can he do that?
MORGAN: You kidding me? I asked you yesterday if I could get a job.
CHUCKIE: And I told you no, yesterday.
In Bow and Arrow Pub
BILLY: Lets sit over here...
CHUCKIE: This is...This is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there'd be equations and shit on the walls...I will take a pitcher of the finest Lager in the house....Time out. I'm gunna hafta' bust a little move on dem Harvard honeys down at the end of the bar. Work some magic...... Oh, hello.
SKYLAR: Oh, hello.
CHUCKIE: Hi, how are you?
SKYLAR: Fine.
CHUCKIE: So, do you ladies uh. . .
SKYLAR: Come here often?
CHUCKIE: Do I come here..? I come here a bit. I here...uh...uh...from time to time...Do you go to school here?
SKYLAR: Yup.
CHUCKIE: Yeah...let's see...see, I think I had a class with you.
SKYLAR: Oh yeah? What class?
CHUCKIE: History.
SKYLAR: Maybe.
CHUCKIE: Yeeesss...I think that's what it was. You don't necessarily...might not remember me...You know, I like it here. It doesn't mean cus' I go here I'm a genius...I am actually very smart...
CLARK: Hey.
CHUCKIE: Hey. How's it goin'? How are you?
CLARK: Good. How're you doin'?
CHUCKIE: You wanna...--
CLARK: What uh...What class did you..did you say that was?
CHUCKIE: AND SKYLAR: History.
CLARK: Yeah...JUST History? It musta' been a survey course then, huh?
CHUCKIE: Yeah, it was, it was surveys.
CLARK: Right.
CHUCKIE: You should check it out, it's a good course. It's a, uh...good..good class.
CLARK: How'd you like that course?
CHUCKIE: You know...Frankly, I found the class, you know, rather...uh...elementary.
CLARK: Elementary..
CHUCKIE: eah..
CLARK: You know I don't doubt that it was.
CHUCKIE: eah...
CLARK: I uh...I remember that class. It was um...it was just between recess and lunch.
SKYLAR: Clark, why don't you go away..?
CLARK: Why don't you relax?
SKYLAR: Why don't you just go away?
CLARK: I'm just having fun with my new friend, that's all.
CHUCKIE: What, are you gunna' have a problem? I don't understand...
CLARK: No, no, no, no..no, there's no problem here. I was just hoping you might give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy of the Southern Colonies. My contention is that uh...prior to the Revolutionary War, the economic modalities, especially in the Southern Colonies, could most aptly be characterized as agrarian precapital--
WILL: Let me tell you somethin', all right? Of course that's your contention.
CLARK: Hang on a second.
WILL: You're a first year grad student. You just got finished reading some Marxian historian -- Pete Garrison, probably -- you gunna' be convinced of that till next month when you get to James Lemon, then you're gunna' be talkin' about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gunna' last until next year, you're gunna' be in here regurgitatin' Gordon Wood. Talkin' about, you know, the pre-Revolutionary Utopia and the capital forming effects of military mobilization.
CLARK: Well, as a matter of fact I won't because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social di--
WILL: Wood drastically...Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth. You got that from Vickers. Work in Essex County, page 98, right? Yeah, I read that, too. You gunna' plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts that...of your own on this matter? Or do you-- is that your thing? You come into a bar, you read some obscure passage, and then pretend you, you..pawn it off as your own..as your own idea just to impress some girls..? Embarrass my friend? See, the sad thing about a guy like you is in fifty years you're gunna start doing some thinkin' on your own, and you're gunna' come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life: one, don't do that, and, two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a fuckin' education you coulda' got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.
CLARK: Yeah, but I will have a degree. and you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip.
WILL: Yeah, maybe. eh, but at least I won't be unoriginal. Pardon me, if you have a problem like that, you and me could just outside 'n we could figure it out.
CLARK: No, man, there's no problem..It's cool.
WILL: It's cool?
CLARK: Yeah.
WILL: Cool.
CHUCKIE: You're fuckin' damn right it's cool. How do ya' like me NOW?
MORGAN: My boy's wicked smart... (You come to this place, you run into a Barney!) (later)...you know, I was gunna' lose that crazy deal, but then Chu...uh, Billy insulted one of them and the heavy-set girl said that I had a--have a recedin' hairline and I was a few pounds overweight and I was like "go fuck yourself!"...... I swallowed a bug.
WILL: Hi...
SKYLAR: You're an idiot.
WILL: What?
SKYLAR: You're an idiot. I've been sitting over there for 45 minutes waiting for you to come and talk to me, but I'm tired now and I hafta' go home, and I..I couldn't sit there any more waiting for you.
WILL: Well..I'm Will.
SKYLAR: Skylar.
WILL: Skylar.
SKYLAR: Oh, and by the way, that guy over there...the Michael Bolton clone...he wasn't singing with us, so to speak.
WILL: Yeah, I know. I kinda' got that impression.
SKYLAR: Okay. Well, I've got to go. Gotta' get up early and waste some more money on my overpriced education.
WILL: No..I didn't mean you. I--
SKYLAR: Oh, that's all right. There's my number. I was hoping we could go out for coffee sometime.
WILL: All right, yeah. May-maybe we could just get together and eat a bunch of caramels.
SKYLAR: dyou--?
WILL: When you think about it, it's as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
SKYLAR: Oh...yeah...okay...uh...well then...
Outside Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robins
MORGAN: Yo. Fuck you bitch. Same fuckin' thing. There goes dem fuckin' barnies right now...with his skiing trip. Shoulda' beat that little bitch's ass.
WILL: Do you like apples?
CLARK: aYeah.