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CHAPTER 2
Family Members and Family Roles (pp.19-35)
TEACHING TIPS AND STRATEGIES TO ACCOMPANY CONTENT
Family members and roles (pp.20-34)
1. The introductory paragraph in this chapter reiterates the point that “the child’s well-being is inextricably connected to the well-being of the family as a unit and the subsystems within it” (p.20). If you are choosing to teach the section on family systems theory and ecological theory from chapter 1 in your second class, reading this quote aloud is a good introduction.
TEACHING TIPS AND STRATEGIES TO ACCOMPANY CONTENT
Mothers (pp. 20-25)
The role of the mother (pp.20-22)
1. Resources:
The recommended websites at the end of this chapter (pp.34-35) provide good information to complement this chapter.
a. For brief background information on pregnancy and parental leave see http://www.labour.gov.on.ca/english/es/pubs/pregnancy
b. For information on a variety of work and family issues see The University of Guelph’s Centre Families, Work and Well-being at
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Mothers (pp.20-25)
The role of the mother (p.20-22)
1. Shimoni and Baxter make the point that many consider mothering to be “instinctual and natural.” They note, however, that the roles mothers play have changed over time and differ across cultures. They argue that the most central issue today concerning the role of mothers relates to employment. No doubt many people in your class will have strong opinions regarding whether a mother should work in the paid labour market or stay at home. Ironically although your students may work in child care, many still believe mothers should be at home with their children (Shimoni and Baxter, p.24). This can contribute to a “working mother’s guilt.” Get your students to focus on what the research says (p.20). Ask the class the following:
a. Should a mother work or stay at home—what does the research say? (p. 20).
- It’s inconclusive, as there are too many factors involved. For example, the availability of quality child care, existence of support networks, the role the father plays in childrearing and household tasks, and the flexibility of the workplace all affect how a working or non-paid mother influences family life.
2. Because so many mothers are in the paid labour market as two incomes are needed in most families to “make ends meet,” Shimoni and Baxter assert that the question should not be whether mothers should work outside the home, but rather our focus should be on the question: How can working mothers be supported by their employers to help manage the “time crunch,” and create “family-friendly” workplaces?
After discussing this question, arrange to show the NFB film A BALANCING ACT: Work and Family in the 90s (23 min). Even though it is from the early nineties, it is certainly still relevant.
a. After viewing the film, pose question 2 again (explore whether students learned about new policies, which ones, and if and how the film enhanced their understanding of “family-friendly” policies).
b. Why is it important to have these policies in place?
- For one, they help women manage the “time crunch.”
c. Why the focus on women?
- According to Statistics Canada (The Daily, July 2006) although fathers/men are doing more around the home, it is still primarily women who remain responsible for child care, cooking and cleaning.
- However, these policies are also important for children. Most Canadian children (7/10) live in “dual-earner” families.
d. How are/could mothers (AND fathers) be supported by government policies (e.g. pregnancy and parental leave, a national child care policy etc.)?
e. If a student asks if these policies work for small businesses, or you want to raise the issue, see the document
GROUP WORK ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Mothers (pp.20-25)
The role of the mother (p.20-22)
1. Shimoni and Baxter quote terms like time crunch, juggling, or second shift to reflect the growing sense of guilt and frustration about needing to “get it all done” and never having enough time for families and children (Milkie et al, 2009).
Ask students to work in small groups and reflect on the busy schedules of mothers and the pressures to “get it all done.” What does “getting it all done” entail?
Are there aspects of “getting it all done” that could be reduced in a less competitive culture? What would these be? Are there aspects of family schedule that could be reduced or eliminated without detrimental effects on the children? What are they?) Have students pair up and take turns briefly discussing what they know about their culture and the role of the mother in that culture. Have students share with the class. In the discussion consider if there are there similarities across cultures? What are they? Are there differences? How did they learn about the mother’s role in their culture? If the student’s family immigrated to Canada, ask them to discuss if their mother’s role changed and if so how.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Mothers (pp.20-25)
Attitudes toward mothers (p.22)
(See STUDENT ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES #1.)
STUDENT ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Mothers (pp.22-25)
Attitudes toward mothers (p.22)
1. Have students individually complete the “Examine your Attitudes” exercise “What do you think of mothers?” (p.22).
a. Complete the following sentences
1. Mothers are ______
2. Mothers should ______
3. Mothers could______
b. Have students individually write the word Mother at the top of a blank sheet of paper and then fill the page with other words this term suggests to them. Discuss answers as a class using questions posed by Shimoni and Baxter at the bottom of the box on p.22.
c. Add one more question to those in the box: What else do you think (besides your relationship with your own mother) impacted your attitudes to mothers?
GROUP WORK ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Mothers (pp.20-25)
Attitudes toward mothers (p.22)
1. Have students pair up and take turns briefly discussing what they know about their culture and the attitudes toward the mother in that culture. Have students share with the class. In the discussion consider if there are similarities across cultures? What are they? Are there differences? How did they learn about the mother’s role in their culture? If the student’s family immigrated to Canada, ask them to discuss if their mother’s role changed and, if so, how.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Mothers (pp.20-25)
Preparation for motherhood (pp.22-24)
1. Students may be surprised to learn that for most women in North America their own experience of childbirth is the first contact they have had with babies. Ask students if any of them have had hands-on experience caring for babies (in their families, neighbourhood, through work and so forth). Was it easy? Was it a learning process? What about the temperament of the baby, how did that factor in? Did they have help or were they on their own (e.g. did they take the baby to a family resource centre/parent-child centre, were there other caregivers in the neighbourhood caring for babies they spent time with)? Would they now feel prepared to parent? If so why: if not, why not? If they do, how would they feel if they had never had contact with a baby? If you are a parent yourself or know any new parents, you could share stories of “on the job training.”
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Mothers (pp. 20-25)
Preparation for motherhood (pp.22-25)
Mothers and experts (pp.24-25)
1. Parents, in particular mothers, are bombarded with contradictory advice. Here is a scenario to pose to the class for discussion: A mother with a newborn asks you if she should let her child cry itself to sleep (as her sister and mother-in-law are advising her, as are many sleep experts) or be comforted to sleep (as her best friend, neighbour and many other sleep experts are advising her)? How can you as an early childhood professional answer her question using a strength-based approach? See the “Guiding principles of family support” ( and discuss which ones might apply, and how these can guide you in answering her question.
STUDENT ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Mothers (pp.20-25)
Preparation for motherhood (pp.22-24)
Mothers and experts (pp.24-25)
1. Parents, in particular mothers, are bombarded with contradictory advice. Have students do a case study in pairs and then report back to the class. Case study: A single mother with a toddler exclaimed in desperation: “I know I shouldn’t let Benjamin sleep in my bed, but if he is in his own bed he wakes up several times a night and cries. I just can’t function at work or at home without a good night’s sleep. I’m just not sure what I should do.” How can you as an early childhood professional answer her question using a strength-based approach? Give the Guiding Principles of Family Support ( as
discussed in the first class, as a handout. Ask students to compare responses within the group, and to report on their discussion as well as the outcome.
2. Toilet training is a classic example of an issue about which there are many (and often contradictory) pieces of expert advice. Ask students to browse the web and bring samples of expert advice to share in class. Discuss how a parent may react to so many different views.
GROUP WORK ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Mothers (pp.20-25)
Preparation for motherhood (p.22-24)
Mothers and experts (p.24-25)
1. Another way of getting students think about the pressure mothers are under to “get it right,” and how they are bombarded with contradictory advice on child rearing, is to have them get into groups of two and role-play. Role-play: One student can be an early childhood professional, the other a mother with a newborn baby. The mother with a newborn asks the early childhood professional if she should let her child cry itself to sleep (as her sister and mother-in-law are advising her, as are many sleep experts) or be comforted to sleep (as her best friend, neighbour and many other sleep experts are advising her). The early childhood professional should try to answer the mother’s question using a strengths-based approach (see the Guiding Principles of Family Support and use what appears relevant, at
and then try using an approach that would be considered disempowering. Have a select number of pairs present to the class and discuss their approach to practice (Was it strength based, if so how, and if not, why not?).
2. Social media may have changed the emphasis on expert advice by providing a way of mothers to learn from each other’s experiences on the internet. In small groups, after a bit of browsing, have students discuss the potential for both positive and negative effects of this.
TEACHING TIPS AND STRATEGIES TO ACCOMPANY CONTENT
Fathers (pp.25-28)
As Shimoni and Baxter point out, fathers used to be the “forgotten parent” of the scientific community, as they were often simply compared with mothers. Today we are learning more about fathers, and how many fathers are inventing their own models. While we still know little about certain fathers, e.g. young/teenage fathers, immigrant fathers, gay fathers, fathers of children with special needs, this situation is changing thanks to a recent project housed at the University of Guelph. See the website of the Father Involvement Research Alliance ( for numerous resources you may choose to share with your students.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Fathers (pp.25-28)
1. Shimoni and Baxter begin the section on fathers by the statement from Harrington et al. 2010: “The roles of and expectations for fathers have been changing drastically in our society.” Has the change all been for the good? Are there aspects of earlier roles and expectations that perhaps were worth preserving? If so, what would these be?
2. Ask the class the following questions, write their answers on the board and discuss their responses. As Shimoni and Baxter point out, sometimes a good dad means that dad is a good mom. Did this seem apparent in any of the answers from the class? Have them discuss after you have written down responses from a, b, and c.
a. What is a “good father”?
b. Where do your ideas about what a good father is come from?
c. Do you think what might be considered “a good father” today is the same as “a good father” was twenty-five years ago? How do they differ? How are they the same?
Supporting fathers (pp. 27-28)
1. Arrange early on to bring in a guest speaker who runs a fatherhood involvement program. How can an early childhood program assess effective father involvement?
2. Ask if anyone in the class every participated in a father involvement program and what they observed. Would anyone like to work in such a program, why or why not? Discuss and debate.
GROUP WORK ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Fathers (pp.25-28)
One of the most comprehensive resources concerning fathers and father involvement is “The Father Toolkit,” published by the Public Health Agency of Canada ( It provides the background and rationale for father involvement, and provides a wealth of tools to help organizations involve fathers.
a) Browse the table of contents with students and pick several topics, such as:
Why Have Programs for Dads; Barriers to Father Involvement Program; Benefits of Father Involvement Programs; Activities for Dads. Divide the topics, ask students to summarize and report back to class.
b) The toolkit contains a number of “pullouts” that may be useful for child care centres. Have students review the pullouts and select up to three that would be useful for child care centres. Discuss why they chose these.
Supporting fathers (pp. 27-28)
1. Much of the literature that talks about the exclusion of fathers refers to the belief that the mostly female providers of care are uncomfortable working with fathers. In pairs, discuss whether this is an issue for you, and if so, what would help you address this.
1.
2.
Read the recommendations (below) from McBride & Rane (1996), regarding Father/Male involvement in Early Childhood Programs.
1. BE SPECIFIC ABOUT GOALS
2. ACKNOWLEDGE RESISTANCE TO INITIATIVES
3. IDENTIFY THE SIGNIFICANT MALE ROLE FIGURES
4. PROVIDE TRAINING AND SUPPORT SERVICES FOR STAFF
5. TRAIN FEMALE FACILITATORS TO ACCEPT MALE INVOLVEMENT
6. DON'T NEGLECT MOTHERS
7. GO SLOWLY
8. DON'T REINVENT THE WHEEL
http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1996/mcbrid96.html
Prior to class, have students read this very brief article and discuss in class each of the points in pairs. Is there anything they disagree with? Why? Is there anything they would add that isn’t on the list? Has anything changed since 1996 when McBride wrote this article? Report back to the class.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Siblings (pp.28-32)
1. Shimoni and Baxter point out that 80% of Canadians have at least one sibling and that this relationship outlasts the parent-child relationship. They point to recent research that sibling relationships may have as much or more influence on the development of children than the parent-child relationship. If they are young adults they may have recently “befriended” their sibling(s); in other words, the quality of their relationships have changed for the better. Pose that as a question to the class—is that the case for any of them? What about older members of the class, what are their sibling relationships like? Be sure to share something brief about your own sibling relationship if you have one. Are there any “only children” in the class? What was this like? What are some pros and cons?
2. Shimoni and Baxter quote recent research that suggests that sibling relationships may have as much or more influence on the development of children than the parent-child relationship (Tucker and Updegraaf, 2009: The relative contributions of parents and siblings to child and adolescent development. In: L. Kramer and K.J. Conger (Eds.). Siblings as agents of socialization. New directions of child and adolescent development. Vol. 126, pp. 13-28. Ask students to read the online article and discuss whether the research conclusions ring true to the students’ life experience.
3. Show the film My Brand New Life: Only Child/Big Family (see end of chapter for more information).
GROUP WORK ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Siblings (pp.28-32)
1. Given that sibling relationships are thought to be so influential, and given also the fact that many families today are having only one child, may lead us to consider the importance of multi-age grouping in child care. In groups of four, ask students to discuss the pros and cons of multi-age groupings in child care, and whether this may substitute in some way for sibling relationships. Compare key discussion points among the students.
Birth order (p.30)
First born: hyper responsible, high achiever, more adult oriented
Second born: secretive, more social than first-born
Last born: a charmer, parents have relaxed standards