Extending Your Range of Sentence Forms by Using Stylistic Devices
A stylistic device is a sentence form that is “re-useable:” the same form can be employed in different context to contain or express a variety of conceptual “content.” The more stylistic devices you have at your command, the more options you will have as a writer. By keeping an eye out for such devices as you do your daily reading and by recording two or three a day, you can quickly build up a sizeable collection and, at the same time, improve your own abilities in terms of surface-level revision.
For each device, copy the sentence you wish to imitate, underlining those parts that make up the stylistic device you have identified. Then construct a schematic diagram of the device similar to those shown below, underlining the stable parts of the form and using an “X” and “Y” to represent variable content. (See examples below.) Finally, imitate the form, providing new and different content of your own, and once again underlining the stable parts of the form. Provide the source for each device.
In selecting stylistic devices to imitate, keep in mind three things:
-choose a form that can be applied in a wide variety of contexts;
-choose a form that you already recognize and understand but that you don’t presently use;
-choose a form that you think would be helpful to your writing.
Sample Stylistic Devices
(Yet don’t use questions for literary analysis essays, just persuasive essays)
- When King’s heirs devote themselves to building a virtual civil-rights march, how long before we learn to content ourselves with virtual rights? (Henry Louis Gates Jr., “Heroes, Inc.” The New Yorker, Jan. 16, 1995.)
- Form: When X, how long before Y?
- Imitation: When competition begins to dominate the life of a culture, how long before it begins to dominate the life of the family?
- ( this is a good one)
- The construction of heroes becomes the deconstruction of heroism… (Gates, ibid.)
- Form: The X becomes the OPPOSITE-X.
- Imitation: The triumph of materialistic values leads to the humiliation of family values. (Notice slight modifications of a form.)
- But, as always in history, what is forgotten is as crucial as what is remembered. (Gates, ibid.)
- Form: But, as always inX, Y.
- Imitation: But, as always in dealing with complex issues, we need to consider whether simple solutions are likely to be effective or merely attractive.
- Simplify, simplify – that is theimperative of the hero industry. (Gates, ibid.)
- Form: X, X – that is the Y.
- Imitation: Working mothers– that is the constant refrain of those who trace all family problems back to the demise of the traditional patriarchal family.
- It used to be said that we got the heroes we deserved. Times have changed: todaywe get the heroes we manufacture. (Gates, ibid.)
- Form: It used to be said that X. Times have changed: today Y.
- Imitation: It used to be said that the family had only one form. Times have changed: today it seems that the family can take any form.
- Each saw the projection of his own image as central to the success or failure of his broader political program. (Gates, ibid.)
- Form: Each saw X as central to Y.
- Imitation: Each sees economic factors as central to the problems presently facing American families. (Notice slight modification of form.)
- I look around for the girls, but they’re gone, of course. (John Updike, “A & P,” Little Brown Reader, 387.)
- Form: X, of course.
- Imitation: Those who most insist upon a return to the traditional family structure do not, of course, want to change the economic conditions that make such a return impossible. (Notice modification: insertion is shifted from final position to middle position.)
- Lengel sighs and begins to look very patient and old and gray. (Updike, ibid.)
- Form: X and Y and Z.
- Imitation: Genuine human development requires time and patience and trust.
- “We are decent,” Queenie says suddenly….
- Form: X is/are Y. (Italics or underlining for emphasis.)
- Imitation: The family is still necessary, but it cannot continue in its traditional form.
- The longer her neck was, the more of her where was. (Updike, ibid.)
- Form: The longer X, the more Y.
- Imitation: The longer we take to address the needs of the family, the more our society will decay.
Parallel Structure & Sentence Tightening
The concept of parallel structure provides one of the most important techniques for making sentences not only tighter but more forceful. While parallel structure may be used to fashion complex and sophisticated sentences, the concept itself is quite simple. In essence, parallel structure simply combines in one sentence those sections which might otherwise be stated in two or more sentences of the same (thus parallel) form. For example, the sentence I like apples, peaches, and pears may be understood as the conflation of three precursive sentences:
I like apples.
I like peaches.
I like pears.
The advantage of using a single sentence with parallel structure here is obvious, for the triple repetition of I like is entirely unnecessary.
Parallel structure always involves a “trunk-and-branch” arrangement, and for parallel structure sentences to read smoothly, the “branch” elements should be of exactly the same grammatical form. Consider the following incorrect example:
We went to the market, to the bookstore, and saw a movie.(error)
Here the “trunk” is We went, and the first two branches fit it exactly: We went to the market and We went to the bookstore. Notice, however, that the third branch doesn’t fit onto the trunk: We went saw a movie (error). It’s usually possible to revise such non-parallel structures without too much difficulty:
We went to the market, to the bookstore, and to the movies.
In some cases, each branch may fit the trunk, but the parallel structure will still be thrown off by mismatches between the branches themselves. In the following modification of the first example, for instance, the structure is no longer precisely parallel:
I like apples, peaches, and eating pears.(error)
Almost any sentence element can be crafted into a parallel structure, and complete sentences can themselves be placed into parallel relationships. In the following example, four sentences are combined into a single parallel structure. Notice that the fourth sentence contains an additional parallel structure of its own.
Stock values plummeted, commodity prices collapsed, banks failed, and millions
of people lost their jobs, their savings, their homes, and their hopes.
Because parallel structure provides such an effective method for tightening loose prose, it’s useful to be aware of the many possible ways in which it may be employed. Familiarity with the following examples may sharpen your eye as you read through and revise your own writing.
Subjects:Clerks, bailiffs, and court recorders were all affected by the regulation, although lawyers were not.
Verbs:He argued, pleaded, and threatened, but to no avail.
Verbs with objects:As soon as the telescope arrived, they quickly leveled the mount, collimated the optical components, and aligned the polar axis.
Objects: The hydraulic leak threatened the flaps, ailerons, and brakes.
Adjectives:A series of brief, clear, pointless communiqués did little to reduce growing diplomatic tensions.
Infinitives:The epitaph, drawn from Tennyson, spoke of their commitment “to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
Prepositional phrases:“… that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”
Gerund phrases:In summer they enjoyed climbing the cliffs, fishing the streams, and exploring the woods.
Participial phrases: Belching smoke and puffing steam, an old coal-burning switch engine shoved a line of freight cars together at one end of the marshalling yard.
Sentence Combing/Tightening
The same tactic used to create parallel structure sentences–combining parts of several sentences within a single sentence–may be used even when the precursive sentences are not parallel. In the activities that follow (Activities 16 & 17), a core sentence is repeatedly modified by adding various elements from different precursive sentences. In the first example, for instance, the precursive sentence must have been something similar to Mary was a unicycle champion. By “conflating” sentences in this way you are able to increase the force of your writing while eliminating unnecessary words and phrases.