When someone you know has Alzheimer's
Updated September 2012
With the increasing prevalence of Alzheimer’s disease, it is very likely that a friend, neighbor or someone in your family may someday be diagnosed with the disease. As with all chronic and debilitating illnesses, the patient and family need your friendship and support more than ever. Interacting with a person with Alzheimer’s and supporting the family caregiver may seem difficult, but with a little understanding, patience and knowledge of the disease, you can play a very helpful role.
The first step is to learn about the disease so you can recognize, understand, and anticipate the more common behaviors and symptoms associated with Alzheimer’s disease. This increased knowledge will enable you to interact more effectively with the individual and understand the demands Alzheimer’s places on the caregiver.
Understanding the person with Alzheimer's
Some of the more noticeable behaviors occurring in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease may include personality changes, decreased communication, and poor memory of recent events. They may ask you the same questions over and over or repeatedly tell you the same story.
As the disease progresses, the individual will become more confused, have more trouble communicating and may no longer recognize family and friends. They may no longer be able to do activities you did together such as play cards, golf or play bridge. Keep in mind, that although they make look fine, there are changes going on in their brain. If they do behaviors that are out of the ordinary or so unlike them, it is caused by the disease; the person is not doing it on purpose.
Interacting with a person with Alzheimer’s
1. Keep your communication simple and your questions to a minimum to avoid frustrating or agitating them.
2. If they ask you the same questions over and over, don’t tell them they just asked that question and you already answered it. Because of their short term memory loss, they do not remember asking it; therefore, it is the first time, every time. Keep you answer short and simple if you know you will be repeating it many times throughout the day.
3. Do not correct, quiz, or try to reason with a person with Alzheimer’s. It will only make them upset or agitated.
4. Increase your non-verbal communications to include eye contact, smiling and holding hands.
5. Reminisce about events in the past.
6. When you visit, do not ask “do you remember who I am? “ Instead, when you arrive, Say “Hi Sarah, it’s your next door neighbor Elizabeth”. If you leave and come back later, do it again.
7. Create an “Alzheimer’s failure free environment”, which means focusing on the skills they have and not reminding them of their deficits.
8. Keep stimuli to a minimum by lowering the volume on televisions and radios, avoiding large gatherings and places that are too loud.
9. Do not assume the person can still do all the activities enjoyed in the past. Ask the family caregiver what activities the person is currently able to do and enjoys doing.
10. Be patient. Be reassuring. It can be frightening for patients when they are having trouble interacting with the world around them.
Supporting the family caregiver
Taking care of a person with Alzheimer’s disease is a full-time, stressful job and the caregiver needs your support as much as possible. It is very physically and emotionally exhausting, and the level of stress and burden can be overwhelming for the caregiver. We suggest the following ways to lighten the burden and offer your support:
1. Offer the caregiver your free time, something they have very little of. Offer to run errands, shop, assist them at home with cooking or bring them an occasional meal to alleviate their work.
2. Do not say “call me if you need anything”. Many caregivers are reluctant to ask for assistance or are so busy, they won’t call. If you want to help, be specific in your offer. Say “I am free Tuesday from 1-3pm and will be over to do whatever you need.”
3. Recognize the need for the caregiver to “get away”. Either offer to stay with the patient or help find an adult day care or respite program to give the caregiver a break.
4. Realize the relationship you had with the caregiver may change as well. They will now have less time to attend social functions and participate in activities they once enjoyed. They may welcome a friendly visit now more than ever.
5. Be a good listener and good friend. Drop a personal note or pick-me-up to the caregiver to show you recognize him or her as having needs as well as the person they are caring for.
What ever you do, don’t give up or back away. Remember, when someone you know has Alzheimer’s disease, both the patient and the caregiver need the continuity of your friendship and support.
Updated September 2012