Emails from Within the Experiment
There are many people around the world who are in the experiment of living their design. In this article some text is blue - this signifies emails I have received from others. A few years agowhen Rawas teaching Radical Transformation, I emailed him because Iwondered if variablesmight be a short cut.It didn't matter to meif there was a short cut or not. I had been working with people for over ten years and I always have stayed with the simple of Strategy & Authority as the foundation for everything. I was so grateful that Strategy and Authority had brought me to my own transformation but perhaps since I entered Human Design there was something new that developed that was another way. The following isRa's reply to me.
“There is no shortcut and the only way in is through Strategy and Authority and the only way to stay in is Strategy and Authority but transformation knowledge after these last five years of teaching and research needs to be made public mostly for the benefit of the unborn and for those ready to take the most radical track to cleanse themselves from conditioning. What you do, is the bedrock of awakening. The most difficult thing to shatter is the surface.”
Strategy and Authority was all I ever needed for myself. Through response, I ended up taking years and years of classes with Ra both live and on-line. Learning Human Design helped my mind understand why things happened in my life – but it was the living my experiment that brought transformation. Knowledge cannot alter life-long patterns. It can tell us why they are there – but it cannot get us out of the trap. Knowledge cannot free us from living a life that has been deeply conditioned by the impact that others have had on us and our minds then trying to find away around the impact of that. We live a life where our minds are manipulating everything. Strategy and Authority stop the mind from having that kind of power. And it is not easy. I know this from my own process and from working with others in their process. For today’s article I want to include some emails from people I have either taught or had sessions with. Reading them filled me with so much joy for I could see the transformation happening for them.
A common thread for so many people who begin this experiment is the feeling of being lonely. Throughout the first 7 years, this feeling can arise at any time. As the passenger surrenders to the vehicle the old social patterns are being taken away. The passenger and the mind were very comfortable with these old patterns and they were used to them. Not only is the person in the experiment used to those old social ways of behavior but all the people in their life are also used to them. With inner authority or the decision making process replacing the mind and the conditioning – we can begin to say “no” to friends and family when we never said “no” before.
Maurice, a Projector, has been in my life for many years now. He participated in many courses I taught on-line as well as on-line lectures and workshops. I remember asking him how his experiment was unfolding in a course many years back and he shared at that time about feeling lonely and that all the people in his life were falling away. To wait to be invited is not easy. I have an email list that I send emails to once in awhile – it is the only way I can stay in touch with people as it has not been correct for me to be on Facebook. Maurice is one of the people on my list and he sent me an email after receiving mine. I was happy to hear from him and I responded asking him if he was comfortable in his life as it was unfolding. This is his reply to me.
“For sure I am getting more comfortable... thanks for asking. To finally start being myself is something else!! Though slowly but surely everyone in my life is slowly departing. I think they proffered the old me as they are not too comfortable with the new me. I don’t now fit into their comfort zone anymore, which is kinda ok really though it has taken these last 4 years almost to come to terms with it. To be honest how I missed the old life at first...it was incredibly painful, but I feel great now...well almost.... Looking back I laugh to myself as to what I was holding onto. It seems so irrelevant now...and boring. Life is so different now - a little lonesome to be honest. The process I mean The people in my life have no clue who I am... Still...rather be here than where I was almost 4 years ago.
Keep well
Maurice”
The one thing I know from all the years of working with people is that Timing is everything and Timing is not in our hands. That to me is the beauty of strategy and authority. It does not allow us to move out of Timing. This Timing (with a capital “T”) seems to be in harmony with the universe. We are not in control and we are not making things happen – no matter what our minds tell us. The timing that our minds have is much different. The mind wants everything now and it pushes us into things because of that. It moves way to fast and there is no inner alignment in that movement. The foundation is mental and driven by the conditioning we took in from others. Strategy slows us down and over 96% of us have to wait for something to come to us and/or for emotional clarity. Most of us come to Human Design as adults. The conditioning was set in the first 7 years of our life. At that time, it was mostly from our immediate family. Every year after those we have re-enforced that conditioning by our actions and behavior and these have become deeply engrained patterns. We fall into these “ruts” over and over again. Outer situations may be different – but our reactions are not. They can be traced to those first 7 years of our life.
When I first “met” Mary through a session she wanted very much to be free from her old patterns and conditioning. She is an MG with Sacral Authority. Over the years, we have had many sessions together and she participated in on-line courses with me. What I find over and over again is the natural unfolding of each person’s process. That everything is a part of everything else and when the Timing is right – a huge shift just happens. And we are not in control of that. We are not in control of anything. It was the right moment for Mary to see a very deep – perhaps the deepest layer of her conditioning causing the pain and suffering in her life.
“Still absorbing our talk the other night, and realizing that if all the members of my original family had mental definition I am riddled with their stories and thoughts. This one insight appears to be causing everything else to change in a rather dramatic manner. Anyway, that's what our chat has unearthed. I have to question all my attitudes to see what's mine and what's theirs. I think I am living a lot of stories that are not really mine.
That time together just blew me away. Wow, talk about deep stuff. Our reality is amazing, It really works.
I want to be unfettered, unchained from this story and it was not about me. It was not me. It was about a condition in which my mother found herself, but IT WAS NOT ME!
Whoa!
Love
Mary”
When I work with someone I am always on the lookout for the trickiness of the mind. So when I got this email from Mary – I responded back. “It is quite liberating but it does need that constant awareness of energy moving through you that is not yours. This dis-identification with what moves through you is the key. I don't think you need to question all your attitudes. That is more like going into the mind to question the mind. Rather – don't BELIEVE any attitude you have about yourself and begin new - like a new baby with a clean slate. And just keep watching the old thoughts crop up and see them for what they are - conditioned beliefs about who you are. This is not you.” Mary then wrote this:
“That's interesting what you say about dis-identification and not questioning everything. I think at this point I'm a bit shocked at what isn't me and wondering what else is there. It's the first time in HD where I feel the false structure crumbling. It seems everything up till now was preparation for that.”
The unfolding of our process happens. At some point, something is revealed that has a profound impact. There is a word that I love “Grok”. In the 1970’s, I was into science fiction fantasy and especially enjoyed Robert Heinlein. He wrote the book “Stranger in a StrangeLand” and the word “grok” was part of the reality of the characters. For me “grok” is when you really get something – and it goes deep inside. It isn’t a “mental” understanding – it is more like that drop that falls to the bottom of the ocean. This has happened for me throughout my process many times and I have seen this happen for others. Ena is an emotional MG. She came to me for a private Rave ABC course. I remember our email exchanges during that time about the lessons as well as her own process and what she was learning in relation to her life and the people in her life. I had emailed her after she ordered a Gentle Reminder glass hanging – asking her if she could let me know when it arrived as it was going to Japan. I also asked her if she was feeling more comfortable within herself. This is her email to me.
“I do not actually know yet whether I am comfortable with myself, but I feel much better and lighter than before. I seemed to be much more sensitized than before to sense about my internal self. I remember that my deep experiment really started since I began Rave ABC’s course (the end of June last year) It has seemed so radical for me to really start to cleanse myself from old conditioning since then. Of course, it is still the beginning of my transformation…….and the deep cleansing process just keeps going on inside of me intensely.
The other day, having an opportunity to get through the process to clearly see the big big picture of my incorrect relationships was quite shocking and amazing to me. (It was not easy but it’s OK.)
The life had naturally guided me to see beneath the surface to really focus to get the point of my deep old conditioning. I seemed to finally allow myself to clear the air and to get to the bottom of my incorrect situation. I simply just saw it and just recognized it unexpectedly.
My whole body strongly just felt that I got some point. My mind actually had no idea what the point was. It was just so deep and was so enormous. For some reason, I have seemed to start to have a real sense of shift in me since then. The sense of shift is actually getting stronger within me.
I am getting to understand that everything is about me. It is all about me in my life. I am also getting to understand that I do not have to force myself to try to understand, and to try to change anything anymore.
I just feel relieved that I do not have to be caught up with feeling torn apart with contradiction and confliction all the time anymore. It is not always easy for me to simply stay in my strategy and my authority in every situation, but I strongly feel that this is the only way that I am able to get back to my simplicity. So, I just keep practicing “Waiting” in my life.”
With much love,
Ena
I received these emails all in the period of one week. It touched me deeply reading them and feeling the process that each person was in. I know it is not easy to live this experiment. And I know that many of you are out there – somewhere in the world – in your own experiment. I would like to encourage you to be gentle with yourself. As an adult, the conditioning layers are thick and it is not easy to live life according to our strategy. We can easily fall back into old patterns – this is part of the experiment too. The difference is that you notice that you have done that – whereas before – you thought this was who you were. It is a great reason to celebrate! Awareness is growing and you are observing yourself in your life. Even observing falling back into an old pattern .... it is seeing this that changes it.
I would like to close this article with something I just sent to my mailing list.
TRANSFORMATION
How amazing that a butterfly comes out ofa caterpillar. Something that can fly comes out of something that crawls. How does that happen? An esoteric explanation is that inside the chrysalis the caterpillar structures are broken down chemically and the adult's new structures are formed. This is how I see strategy.
Strategy is not a philosophy. It is mechanical. Human Design is the mechanics of the Maya. Consciousness comes into form once the neo-cortex is built. It "sits in the back seat" ready to look out the window and enjoy the ride of being in form. But that doesn't happen. Instead, from the moment of birth, conditioning begins and then the mind grabs hold of the passenger and we're off and running - further and further away from our true nature. Strategy gives us a chance to start all over and it doesn't matter how old we are.
Strategy is the mechanics of aligning the passenger in the back seat through surrender to the vehicle. Strategy allows us to transform into who we were born to be at birth. It is not a concept. It is not a philosophy. Strategy is the key to our vehicle and the doorway to transformation.
Each of us can fly and truly enjoy this ride while here on earth.
Mary Ann Winiger