ELA 8 Revision Plan

Dear______,

I have had the opportunity to review your rough draft of the Informative essay on The Pearl, by John Steinbeck. Before you submit your final draft, I would like you to work on the following items below that are checked off.

  1. Introduction Paragraph:

______Your introduction needs to have a catchier attention grabber/hook. DON'T USE A QUESTION.

______Introduction should also include more background information on The Pearl.

  1. Thesis Statement:

______Your thesis statement should be included in the introduction and conclusion paragraph.

______Thesis statement must be more clearly stated. RESTATE THE ESSAY QUESTION.

  1. Body Paragraphs:

_____Your body paragraphs need to include more text details to support your thesis.

_____Your body paragraphs should begin with a topic sentence and end with a conclusion sentence.

  1. ______In-text citations: You need to incorporate at least one quote in each body paragraph.
  1. ______Punctuating In-text citations: In-text citations are not correctly punctuated. Remember to include quotation marks around Steinbeck's words and to include the page # in parentheses with the period outside the parenthesis.

For example: "But Kino's brain burned, even during his sleep, and he dreamed that Coyotito could read, that one of his own people could tell him the truth of things" (713).

  1. Conclusion Paragraph:

_____ Re-state your thesis

_____ Sum up your main points

_____ End with a creative BANG! Add insight. What did you learn? Leave the reader thinking. Add a sentence to make your conclusion more interesting and thought provoking!

  1. Organization:

_____Your essay should have 5-6 paragraphs.

_____Indent paragraphs.

_____Incorporate transitions to bridge the ideas from paragraph to paragraph.

  1. Word Choice:

_____You need to replace simple vocabulary with more sophisticated language.

_____You need to avoid repetitive language (don't repeat the same words and phrases over and over)

_____ Your essay needs to incorporate more FORMAL language. Avoid “I, me, my, us, we, you” in your essay. Avoid slang.

  1. _____Sentence Fluency: Edit your essay by varying your sentence length and structure.
  1. Conventions:Your essay needs to be edited for:

_____Spelling

_____Punctuation

_____ Run on Sentences

_____ Fragments/Incomplete Sentences

_____ Capitalization

_____ Other:

  1. Length/font:

_____The essay should be one and a half to two pages with at LEAST 5 PARAGRAPHS.

_____The font should be Times New Roman, Georgia, or Arial, size 12.

Include WARM FEEDBACK (positive) / COOL FEEDBACK (Constructive Criticism—How can this essay be better?

Good Luck! I look forward to reading your final copy. Your work was edited by: ______

Final Draft Checklist

In your final draft make sure to:

  • Double space your essay!
  • Include a formal heading at the top with your name, ELA 8, the date, and Informative Essay
  • Include a title for your essay. It could be as simple as The Pearl, but I encourage you to develop a more creative title that connects with your essay topic!
  • Include this Revision Plan as well as all of your Rough Drafts.
  • Make sure to have someone else edit your final work!
  • Make sure to fill out the Reflection below before submitting your final work!

Reflection:Answer the following questions. Make sure to hand this form in with your final copy!

  1. What are you proud of having accomplishedin writing this essay?
  1. What part of the writing process was most difficult for you? Explain.
  1. What part of the writing process did you feel you did the best with? Explain.
  1. What did you learn from this writing assignment?
  1. How do you think you will do on this writing assignment? Explain.

ELA 8Name______

Dear ______,

I am ready to submit my final draft of my Informative Essay on The Pearl, by John Steinbeck.

Directions: Put an “X” next to each area in which you improved and provide an example.

X / Improvements / Example—show me how you made improvements
My thesis statement is clearly stated in the introduction.
I changed my research questions to statements. They are clearly stated in the introduction.
I changed my introduction. It has a better attention grabber that does not ask a question or start with ‘Imagine’. All requirements for the introduction are included (thesis statement, research questions, transition/closing sentence).
I have organized paragraphs that each focus on a different topic. I have transitions that bring me from one paragraph to the next.
I have proper use of in-text citations. I do not plagiarize my ideas. I do not have an excessive amount of direct quotes.
I changed the language of my essay to be MORE FORMAL.
My body paragraphs each begin with a topic SENTENCE that reflects one of my research questions. I have enough research and facts in my body paragraphs to support my thesis.
My conclusion is catchy and ‘ends with a bang’. It is not repetitive in comparison to the introduction.
I corrected spelling, punctuation, and/or grammar mistakes.
I have at least 5 paragraphs in my research essay.
M y Works Cited page is correct. It has the word Works Cited at the top center. It is the last page of my research essay.

Improvement Score______