“‘I Saw That.’ –God”
Psalm 139:1-18, 23-24
July 23, 2017
Second Presbyterian Church
Rev. Sara Benedetti
One of the many reasons that the Psalms are in our scriptures and that we read them regularly is that they are one of the ways that the Bible speaks best to the human experience. There are Psalms that praise and thank God, Psalms that cry out to God in sadness and grief, even Psalms where the writer yells at God, asking why things happen the way that they do. Sometimes Psalms of greatly different attitudes follow one after the other, and sometimes those differences evenexistent in the same Psalm.
I have found support, strength, and consolation in the Psalms many times. It is so reassuring to read a passage from the Bible and think, “That’s exactly how I’m feeling!” The writings of the Psalmist show us that our struggles are things that many people go through, possibly that everyone goes through at some point in life. Psalm 139 is, in particular, one of those writings.
The heading for Psalm 139 in my Bible is “The Inescapable God”. Normally when we hear the word inescapable, our mind jumps to some kind of pursuit where someone is running from a foe who is hot on their trail or the image of an animal who is cornered on a hunt. But the God described in Psalm 139 is not in pursuit of us to hurt us. God is not after us because of some wrong we’ve done or a bad choice we’ve made.
Here, the Psalmist is saying that no matter where he goes, God is there. From the depths of Sheol to the heights of heaven, from the innermost parts of our souls to the farthest edges of the sea, God is there.
It might take some effort on our part to understand that God being everywhere isn’t a malicious thing, or that God always being at our side isn’t like the younger sibling that always seemed to be underfoot. But once we realize that God being everywhere and always with us is an incredible blessing, we can start to appreciate it for the miracle that it really is.
As the Psalmist says in verse 7, there isn’t anywhere we can go where God isn’t already present and with us. There isn’t really a way we can run from God, because anywhere we could possibly go, God is already there. But we still imagine that God can be outfoxed or that we can think of a way to hide.
We like to run from God. We like to think that we can escape God’s presence, that those thoughts or actions that we are ashamed of aren’t known by anyone. But God knows them. And while that idea might worry us, I want you think about that idea and try to take comfort in it.
Close your eyes for a moment and think back on your life. Think of something that you’ve done or thought in your life that you wish you hadn’t done or thought. Try focusing on one thing, particularly if it’s something that you have felt shame about or won’t talk to other people about.
These types of things are usually things we aren’t proud of, things that we wish we could go back and change. Things that we would rather God not know about and so we pull away and try to bury them deep.
So where does the comfort part play in? It can come through the knowledge we receive from Psalm 139 and others that there isn’t anywhere that we can go from God, and that because of that, none of our actions or choices or thoughts are hidden from God in the first place. God knows us intimately, and has from before we were born.
God not only saw what we did that time that we’d rather not remember, but God was there. So we can set aside the idea that we have anything to keep from God, or the idea that we need to have had a perfect past in order to be in relationship with God.
Still wondering how this is comforting? Consider this: if the thought or action you recalled is something that you’ve felt burdened by, not been able to tell anyone else about, but that you desperately feel that you need to get off your chest in order to move past it and heal, take comfort that God already knows. You don’t have to work up the courage and nerve to tell God about it for the first time.
And because God already knows, those burdens don’t have to be ours alone anymore. God carries those things with us and for us, we just have to give up on burying them and attempting to keep them hidden. God knows what we’ve done and is STILL by our side! We can’t escape the presence, knowledge, and love of God.
So considering that we are all imperfect people who all have sins we wish we could take back, it’s truly incredible to know that God is there with us in the midst of our imperfection, staying true and committed to us.
But even when we hear that reassurance, whether it’s preached from the pulpit or read from scriptures or offered up by a friend, we have a tendency to doubt it sometimes. Perhaps a lot of the time. Why would we fear God’s presence? Are we scared that God will judge us? That we will be condemned with no opportunity for redemption?
Those are feelings that many people have at one point or another. And probably with good reason: we are all sinners. But if God was so quick to judge us and condemn us at the first wrong we ever did, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to hear and experience the Good News: that no matter where we go, no matter what we do, no matter what is done to us or what we experience, God is there. God is with us. God loves us.
There is a reason that many people resonate with the parable of the Prodigal Son, where the son asks his father for his inheritance early, essentially telling his father “I can’t wait for you to die.” And then the son leaves home and squanders the money, living in wretched conditions before he drags himself home, content to be the lowest of slaves in his father’s household.
But when the son returns home, expecting the worst, the father does not condemn. The father does not judge. The father does not turn away or reject his son. The father runs to him, a grown man acting like a young, excited child, and throws his arms around his son, rejoicing that he is alive and has come home.
God is that father for us, always there for when we choose to know God fully. God is the mother that recognizes the wrongs that we have done, the mistakes that we have made, and helps us to heal the wounds we have caused ourselves.
The story of that caring mother figure is told in “The Hand Song” by Nickel Creek, where a young boy wants to do something nice for his mom. He knows that she loves and takes good care of her roses in the garden. So one day, when the roses are in full bloom, he goes to the garden to pick a beautiful bouquet of roses for her.
But not only does he tear up and bloody his hands, he also destroys the roses in the process. He comes inside to his mother, and she knows two things immediately: that her roses are doomed, and that her son did what he did out of love. She comforts him and tends to the wounds that he has inflicted on himself.
God knows our intentions. God can see that even when we try and do something kind or positive, that it can turn out badly. God also knows when we do horrific things or act terribly on purpose, like to young man in the parable of the Prodigal Son.
But regardless of the intention, regardless of how many times we repeat our mistakes, God is there with open arms, welcoming us home, greeting us with love. God is there, knowing exactly what happened, tending to our wounds, helping us to move forward.
God is a caring and loving God who wants to be in relationship with us, to help us understand how well we are known and cared for. But we don’t like to make it easy. We can be incredibly stubborn, especially those of us who have been through trauma, have always had to look out for ourselves, or who think that we are undeserving of God’s love.
We still try and run away. We think that we know better, or we decide that we aren’t ready to practice the kind of vulnerability it takes to be truly known by God.
To be known completely is to be completely vulnerable. Think about a relationship where the other person knows you completely. They can predict how you will respond in a given situation; they can interpret a quick look; they can recognize when you are comfortable or when you are holding something back.
But that knowledge requires trust and vulnerability on your part. You trust them not to expose your worries or insecurities. You can count on them to support you and have your back. And you can completely be yourself with them.This is the type of knowledge that God has of the Psalmist, and it allows for the Psalmist to trust in God regardless of the situation.
Do we experience this? Are we vulnerable enough with God that we are completely ourselves in our faith? As it says in this Psalm, God knows every bit of us, every thought that we have, every experience that we’ve been through. God knew us when we were being knit together in our mother’s womb, even before she knew we were there.
But being vulnerable is a choice we are sometimes unwilling to make. We decide we are too self-sufficient to depend on God. We decide are too intelligent to seek out God’s guidance in our lives. We decide that we have messed up too often and too much for God to ever accept us as we are.
And so we run. We run away, whether it’s emotionally or spiritually or physically. We give excuses or justifications for our choice to run, and every time that God reassures us, saying, “You can’t go anywhere where I won’t love you”, we think of a new way to run.
We are like the little bunny from the book The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown, a story that was a favorite of mine growing up. One day the little bunny says to his mother, “I’m running away,” and his mother responds with, “If you run away, I will run after you, for you are my little bunny.”
He then defiantly says, “If you run after me, I will become a fish in a trout stream and I will swim away from you.” His mother responds, “If you become a fish in a trout stream, I will become a fisherman and fish for you.”
This continues with the little bunny coming up with a new plan to escape his mother no matter what she does, until the little bunny says “I will become a little boy and run into a house,” to which his mother says, “If you become a little boy and run into a house, I will become your mother and catch you in my arms and hug you.”
“Shucks,” says the little bunny, “I might just as well stay where I am and be your little bunny.”
God is like that mother bunny. Try as we might, there isn’t anywhere we can hide from God. Sometimes we may want to. Sometimes we are ashamed of how we act or think, ashamed of the choices that we’ve made in life.
We act like Jonah, who knew what God wanted from him and then fled as far away as he could. But God didn’t give up on Jonah. God didn’t say, “Well, he was obviously the wrong choice. I’m just going to write him off, cut my losses, and try again.” God pursued Jonah, and kept reminding him that Jonah had been chosen for a purpose.
Whether Jonah believed in himself or not, God did. And because of that pursuing, Jonah carrying God’s message through the streets of Nineveh, which resulted in all the people of the city turning from wicked ways and entering into relationship with God. (Jonah went off and pouted because he thought God was going to wipe Nineveh off the map, but that’s another story for a different sermon.)
God knows it all. God sees it all. My mom got me a little wall hanging to remind me of exactly that. It’s where a got the title of my sermon. It says “I saw that.” –God.
I put it up in the youth room, just as a subtle reminder. And while my mom meant it to be funny, it’s still true, but not in an “I’m watching you to see when you step one toe out of line so I smite you” kind of way. Instead it’s an “I made you and care about you more than you can really understand, and I’m always going to be here with you, regardless of what you do or what you’re facing.”
God isn’t going to let us go. God isn’t going to give up on us. God will never leave us. Whether we are on the highest mountain top or at the farthest edge of the sea or in the depths of Sheol, God is there, watching and loving and caring, always ready for us to turn and be gathered up into the most welcoming arms we’ve ever known.
So when you leave today, remember that God will always come after you. Remember that God will never leave you alone. And remember that God saw that. In a good way.
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