Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 16/ Page 11
Chapter Sixteen
Colin kept his eyes on Nicolette, waiting to see what her reaction would be when Lady Sara Garrison arrived like a new burst of sunshine into the library after supper. Lady Sara immediately stole the attention of almost every guest, except for Colin. He kept his eyes on Nicolette, knowing she had heard of his former connection with the Marquis’s daughter. Watching quietly near the terrace doors, Nicolette seemed to be waiting for Colin to ditch his focus on her for Sara. But how could he? Nicolette tore at his every being tonight. She looked ravishing in her ginger colored gown, with her long sable hair in perfect ringlets cascading from her crown. The fiery color of her gown was in stark contrast to most of the other debutants and ladies present, who preferred the more demure shades of white, cream, violet, pink and blue—though not his Nic.
Dinner was incredibly uncomfortable. Colin hated seeing her lie to the room of judgmental elitists, describing a life in Paris she hadn’t been living. Then again, the way they targeted and attacked her was unpardonable. If they found her feigned life in Paris scandalous, then how would they have reacted if they knew the truth about Lisbon? There was nothing she could do but lie, though he saw every bone in her body fight with her declarations. It was deplorable. None of them even knew her, though they were determined to keep her locked in the twisted reputation that society had branded her with. Moreover, Colin hated having to pretend to hate her. It was sickening that he had to stick to a family history of loathing and competition between their families because no one could understand that he and Nic were able to overcome it.
Along those same lines, Colin was having trouble keeping to the scheme that they didn’t know each other outside of common society scandals. Why did he have to continue that façade of hate between their families when he wanted nothing more than to be as they were in Lisbon, just Nic and Colin—not Noble and Avenry. But Nicolette seemed determined to keep up the façade, not that he could blame her. Not only would Colin lose his fiancée, but his family would most likely disown him. Everything he had ever fought for would go up in smoke. This was not to mention Nic’s own family who was so intent on revenge against the Avenrys for some strange reason—they would also disown her, leaving Nic in more shame than her family was already in. She obviously was loyal to her family and loved them deeply—despite their wishes for her to conform to normal society.
With all this said, why could neither of them tear their eyes from the other? Colin knew that Nic was waiting for him to show his true colors and prove that he was a man who could not give his loyalty to just one woman. Colin was determined to not give her the satisfaction, when Sara finally tugged on Colin’s arm, stealing his attention from Nic.
“Oh, my little Sara, why do you grow more lovely every time we meet?” Colin grinned. Formality called for him to only take her hand, but he cared not for ceremony. He embraced his dear, old friend for all to see.
Sara laughed at his familiar gesture and teased, “you seem troubled, Colin. Are you regretting ever letting me slip through your fingers?”
Releasing her, Colin gazed upon Sara’s maturing features. She was no longer the innocent girl he knew, but becoming a ravishing woman. Sara fit the mold of an ideal debutant, socialite and woman – nearly every lady in society envied her. She held an extraordinarily high title being the daughter of a Marquis. Her platinum shiny hair was offset by her teal blue eyes and ideally porcelain skin. But she held a warmness and grace to her striking good looks – which drew everyone towards her. To say the least, she was perfection. When he courted her, Sara was only sixteen, however she matured much over the two and a half years past in form and emotion. “Who wouldn’t regret losing a gem as you?”
Leaning closely, Sara whispered mischievously, “aren’t you occupied enough with your harem of debutantes?”
“Ah, only idle amusements.” He pulled her close into another embrace. “Where have you been hiding? I’ve not received a letter from you in a year and a half.”
“Miss me, did you? Well, I’ve been in Athens… visiting friends. When I returned this morning, I heard of Lady Camilla’s two peculiar guests. I sent word that I must behold you and my brother attending a week’s worth of debut parties and balls.”
Colin slyly informed, “Marc wanted to stay on account of a few of the guests.”
Sara raised a fair brow. “Who is my presumptuous brother trying to bed tonight?”
“Lady Cawood, I suppose. If Lord Cawood will let him near her.”
“Oh, Eloise is a tart. She’s not even a small challenge for Marcus. But I do see one of your former conquests is present.” She smugly laughed turning her eyes to the tawdry Miss DeWitt.
“Ah, but those ladies seem so ordinary now that my Sara is in the room.”
“Still the lord of all seducers, I see.” She never did fall for his charms. “Now why did we ever quit courting again?”
“Because you’re impossible—”
“I’m difficult, not impossible,” she swiftly corrected.
Colin laughed, once again seeing the same engaging girl he had always known. On many occasions, he wished he had been in love with her, for she was ideal for any man. But Colin knew he loved her as if she were his younger sister, not a wife or lover. She felt the same way, but both still teased about how excellent their match could have been. Colin longed to see Sara with someone who cherished and esteemed her, but he knew no one could ever recognize how rare she was. “Who have you been receiving recently?”
She simply shrugged, “no one of name.”
“No one? Are Marc and Dane running all of your suitors from the estate again? I should speak with them about it.” He lightly teased, feeling as if he were just as protective as both of Sara’s elder brothers.
“No, it isn’t Marc or Dane.” Sara groaned as she tossed her blond curls from her shoulder. “There just aren’t any men in all of the United Kingdom who can hold my interest.”
Her mind seemed elsewhere this evening in his view. Colin’s tone turned solemn, as he took her hand. “You don’t mind being alone?”
“Contrary to society’s belief, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely.”
Before he could question her further, her older brother joined their private gathering in the corner. Catching only her last expression and before kissing her on the cheek, he added, “ah, my sister the philosopher.”
Colin tipped his glass of brandy, pointing to her. “She’s becoming too sharp. Learning all men’s tricks, including mine.”
“Really? Sara, from whom have you learned all these tricks?”
“When I have you two rakes plus Dane as my keepers? How could I not have taken notice?” She widened her luminous blue eyes and pulled an arm around each gentleman.
Colin joked, “Marc, I think she has even discovered who has been chasing away all of her suitors.”
“We can’t keep her innocent forever, Colin, but we have tried our best.” Marcus sighed with a generous grin.
Colin continued to talk over the petite blonde’s head to Marcus. “Does this mean we must relinquish our roles as her keepers?”
“Never!” Marcus huffed.
They all loudly broke into unrestrained laughter, which caught the remaining guests’ attention. Quickly, they covered their mouths in remembrance of proper social graces. Marcus took his sister’s hand, to excuse her from Colin and remarked, “Sara, His Grace the Duke wanted to introduce you to a few of his guests.”
Nicolette watched the three intimately laugh, knowing they would be talking most of the evening away since they seemed to enjoy each other much more than they would anyone else present. She hadn’t taken her eyes from Lady Garrison since she entered the parlor. Nicolette expected her to be fine looking, but not so exquisite. Nor did she think Colin’s former interest wouldn’t be so obviously admired by everyone in the room. She seemed like a magnet for attention. Once again, it was as if Colin wasn’t even engaged to Miss Gray. The two loves of Colin’s life were similar in looks though Lady Sara’s natural beauty was far more devastating to any who gaze on her than Tessa. Sara was fair and rather petite in her features, which only accentuated her brightness. With brilliant blue eyes and an uninterrupted kind smile, she seemed to be everything which Nicolette was not. It was aggravating.
Furthermore, Colin and Sara always seemed to be touching, either he embraced her or she took his hand. They were both of title, how could they allow themselves to be intimate in front of a room of people, especially when they were not formally linked? It was highly improper. Moreover, it truly disturbed her. To Nicolette, this was the first pang of jealousy she had ever recognized. She had not been jealous of the insipid Tessa, but Sara was someone that Nicolette felt she couldn’t compete with—especially since she had history with Colin. Nicolette shouldn’t let it upset her, since Lady Sara and Colin were former affections and their families were still closely tied. There must be some reason they were not courting. Though this did not mean that they weren’t secretly lovers. Colin seemed to have those sorts of women tucked away in every city and borough.
This only affirmed her suspicions of Colin’s forwardness with women and that her time with him was nothing special. Now she could go on with her week at Stonefield without thinking he would continue his pursuit of her, for he now had Lady Sara to fill that role. But a part of her was saddened by this realization. Actually, she was angry over it. He had wasted so much of her time and thoughts with his false promises and insincere affection towards her. Nic supposed it was better that she knew now before she actually fell for his scheme.
Nicolette turned to escape out the terrace doors. The cool air began to sooth her enflamed cheeks, she hadn’t noticed how heated she had become watching Colin with another woman. Nor did she notice that a companion had joined her on the terrace.
“It does no good to ignore me.”
The familiar low voice shook her.
Nic turned to see that Colin had cornered her on the terrace and without escape. All the same, she angrily replied. “I think it does.”
“I’m too intrusive… in all ways.”
“Actually, it’s quite easy to disregard someone that doesn’t interest me in the least.”
He raised an enticing brow, as his full lips curled in satisfaction. “Oh what a convincing lie—”
“Colin, you should understand that I have no use for you.” She beguilingly smiled in return to his game.
He stepped closer to her and whispered, “I can think of one use.”
For a moment, she was speechless. Nic’s chest was heaving as she tried to catch her breath, but his blatant proposal had caught her off guard since she had convinced herself that he would probably not look at her since Lady Sara arrived. No, no Nicolette! Do not fall for it again, she screamed inside her head. Nic closed her eyes for just a moment to regroup before going on the offensive. “Oh, foolish sangue azul, you still have so much yet to learn. Do you know that there is a difference between bedding a conquest and enticing a lover? I am definitely no man’s conquest and you are certainly not in the market for yet another lover.”
His tawny brow raised as he tried not to laugh. “Oh please teach me wise woman of the world!”
“Bedding a conquest involves false hopes and sentiments on the part of the seducer in order to get what he wants. If it is a lover you seek, then it should not be a game, but a plain honest proposition. It also must be beneficial to both parties.”
“So are you saying that either my sentiments are false or that you wouldn’t benefit from my advances? I wager I could prove both of those assumptions wrong.”
Her heart skipped a few beats. She was scared to see him try. Nicolette began to walk past him to the terrace doors. She must leave Colin, before he saw through her witticism to her true craving. Almost attaining her escape, his serious tone and words captured her step.
“I know you may think I’m mad, but all I want to do is be with you.”
She could not leave. She could not move. His words were spoken so honestly and intensely, that she wanted to believe him. Nicolette slowly turned to see him heavily staring at her with his cobalt gaze. Her voice broke on every word as she asked, “and how many other women have you said that to tonight?”
He didn’t answer her. Was he shocked? Or had the truth of her words broken his game? Stepping closer to him, she sharply accused, “admit it, Colin, you’ve bedded quite a few women in that parlor.”
As if he were trying to recover, Colin paused and with a sly smirk on his lips he whispered her own words back to her. “But how many can say I’ve been honest with them? You tease me with the semantics of what a conquest is versus a lover. But I don’t care. I want you as more than a conquest. Though your teasing could force me to change my mind, because all I can think about is tearing you from the terrace, throwing you on the lawn below and making you mine.”
A small sound escaped her mouth though Nic hadn’t taken a breath.
He slowly continued, “But I’m too well trained in the manners of gallantry to do so. I know that you refuse to be any man’s conquest, but I also know that you we feel something much more than just want for me—and that can be even more dangerous.”
His words shook her entire body and a core feeling wished he would act on his carnal feelings. Nicolette knew she must say something. “You’re incorrigible, Sir Avenry! Now we should return inside before the rumors begin again.”