Steps to Feeling Better
Instructions: Read each of these steps. Chose one to focus on each week. Complete the assignment(s) at the end of each step thoughtfully and process it in your next therapy session.
- Ground yourself in your faith-Use prayer/spirituality as the foundation of your day. First thing in the morning give your day in full trust to God and bask in his comfort.Use prayer when you need it, as many times as you need it. Ask God for what you need. Pick a bible verse, a promise from God, and memorize it reminding yourself God is in Control.
How does this apply to you? How can you use it?
- Move-stretch, go for a walk, ride a bike, do yoga, dance around…. Even if its just lengthening your spine and holding your head up straight into good posture. The way you physically hold your body produces feelings. Move and align yourself physically in a way that feels strengthening, positive, and true to you.
How can you start moving? List a few ways you enjoy or are willing to try each day. Create a goal for moving for at least 15-30 minutes every day. Describe it here.
- Be kind to yourself-What do you enjoy? What comforts you and is also healthy…a warm bath, a cup of relaxing tea, a good book, getting a manicure…find what is soothing and feels comforting to you or brings you joy. Pamper and care for yourself like you were caring for someone else in need of comfort.
What will you do to be kind to yourself this week?
- Love and care for your body- Intentionally choose to eat and drink healthy foods and beverages for the purpose of caring for yourself, exercise, allow yourself appropriate sleep and resting time, use your brain to keep it learning and growing, take supplements that improve your mood (consult your physician for guidance)… lovingly care for your health and it will reward you with feeling better physically and emotionally.
Create a list of goals for loving your body. Pick one to start doing this week. Which do you choose ? How will you do it?
- Slow Down- You only have to take it one day at a time, one thing at a time as you move through each day. One day at a time is all we are given to handle, we cannot go back or forward. Be present in this moment, in this day. Concentrate on what you can do /need to do/want to do only for this day. (Helpful verses:Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matt 6:34Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10)
**When you need a break, take a minute for yourself, breathe, allow yourself the feelings of joy and peace.
How do you need to slow down? What will you do to slow down this week?
*If you feel overwhelmed, make a schedule of daily to do lists for a week. Mark them off as you go. Remember to include rest and joy on the list. Are you making a schedule? What does it consist of?
- Solve your easiest problem-Separate your worries into what you can control and what you cannot. Let go of what you cannot control and separate the things you can into workable steps….take a step…allow yourself to feel the accomplished feeling of making progress.
Create a list of your problems. Separate the ones you can control from the ones you cannot control. Release responsibility for the ones you cannot control. You can do this in your mind, and also by writing it down and throwing it away or in another symbolic way.
- Don’t isolate, congregate-You may feel like being alone to wallow in misery…but don’t, buddy up! Do something that allows you be around others choosing positive people who will soothe you and lighten your load.
Make a list of ways you can get connected with others who are positive in your life each week. If you don’t have any positive relationships, make a list of ways you can obtain them. If you don’t know how, ask.
My List:
- Adjust your focus-think of someone else you could help or comfort…even a small act of kindness towards another brings joy to both of you and gives you a sense of strength and purpose separating you from your worries and sadness.
What is an act of kindness you can do this week? List one or more here.
- Look at the big picture-put things into perspective…will this matter in 5 years? Could things be worse? Do you know of anyone who has worse challenges than your own? What in your life is still good…make a list of the good things in life and the things you are grateful for.
Write your big picture thoughts here:
- Remind yourself-How many times have you struggled? Yet somehow you always made it through! How did you? Wow, you are strong! Glow in it. If you can’t think of any about yourself, think of someone you know who has. How did they do it?
List times when you or others faced hardships in the past and how you managed to survive them here:
- Change your thoughts- Identify your negative thinking statements, feelings, and patterns then change them.
How? When you notice a negative thought say, “This is an old thought (feeling) and I no longer choose to think (feel) this way.
Change the thought to something positive that feels positive and real. (ex. ‘I am a failure’ change to “I am doing the best I can”)
You get to choose what you think, feel, do, and focus on in life. Life offers a lot of good and bad…decide which you want and choose to focus on that. It will become a habit that changes your experience and outlook on life for the better.
List negative thoughts that come up often and how you can change them to a positive more accurate statement that feels true to you.
- Use Mindfulness. Become aware of your feelings.-If you are not aware of your feelings you can’t handle or let them lead to healing…take the time to be with your feelings in order to work through them. All feelings are messengers designed to help you; they are normal and serve a wonderful purpose. The key is to realize you are not your feelings; they are messengers giving you information to help you choose positive helpful behaviors.
Honor what comes up-What we resist persists, so do not push your feelings away. Separate your true self from your feelings and become a compassionate witness to your thoughts and feelings. Allow your repressed feelings to be seen and honored without analyzing them, judging them, undermining or indulging in them. Just hear them.
Releasewhat does not serve you- Choose a way to respond to your emotions that honors them and serves you instead of being burdened or bound by them or reacting with destructive behaviors. Decide what you can
do that will help you, not hurt you before you act.
Think of a time you didn’t do this because you felt overwhelmed by feelings and rewrite what would have happened if you had stepped aside from your feelings, listened to your feelings as messengers and made a choice about what to do rather than reacting. List it here:
- Connect with your true self. You are not your emotions, thoughts, or parts that hold your past experiences. You are your true self, resilient and worthy. You have a purpose in life as well as unique gifts and talents to achieve your purpose. Allow yourself to be in touch with your true self, discover your talents and your purpose.
How do you think and feel about this?
I think-
I feel-
What do you see as your purpose in life?
What have you come to know about your gifts and talents?
Is there anything blocking you from getting in touch with your purpose, gifts and talents?
- Set small daily goals. – Make a list of things you need to do each day. Include even the small things you hope to accomplish. Check them off as you go and notice your progress at the end of the day.
What are some things you might include on your daily list for this week?
How does it feel when you complete your list each day?