By John Layer, Jennifer Hutchings, and Crystal Cannon

“Doctor Hathaway”

(To the tune of “SpongeBob SquarePaints”)

“The Two Co-eds and an Old Guy”

Are you ready Kids?

I, I, Old guy!

I can’t hear you!

I, I, Old guy!

OH!!!!!!

Who teaches Organic at S-E-M-O!

Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

Wears glasses and lab coats and plays golf don’t you know!

Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

If learning Organic is something you wish!

See Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

Then take my advice and remember This!

About Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

Take his class and study hard!

Says Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

I’ll give you an A on your report card!

Thanks Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

Please always remember and never forget!

Warns Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

On the day it is due your homework submit!

Says Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

If you turn it in late you won’t get a grade!

Please Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

You can beg and plead but he still says “No Way”!

Geese Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

Always be ready when class time is near!

Suggests Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

Because you never will know when pop quiz you will hear!

Smiles Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

Now go to the lab and unlock your drawer!

Be careful with glassware or you’ll pay for more!

With water and acid hydration you’ll do!

Mix it right and you’ll get something new!

If you make a mistake don’t worry or fuss!

Pour in a beaker but be careful to flush!

Non-Halogenated goes into the gar!

But if poured down a drain it becomes muck and mar!

You have to remember for all SN2’s!

Strong nucleophiles only will do!

If SN1’s you find are a boor!

Then nucleophile strength can be ignored!

For SN1’s you must not forget!

Rearrangements are common this don’t you miss!

SN2’s can not rearrange!

Remember this and you won’t be lame!

Moving on to E1’s I know you’ll agree!

Base strength not important as we have all seen!

E2’s are just a little bit different!

Requires strong bases to be efficient!

For all E2’s mixed in a solvent!

Polarity is not important!

For all E1’s mixed in a tube!

Ionizing solvent you must include!

This will conclude our song for today!

Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

But here is a question to ask if we may!

Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

We have wrote this song for 2% credit!

Right? Doc-Tor Hath-Away?

A good grade we expect or we will regret it!

Thanks Doc-Tor Hath-Away!

Thank You! Doc-Tor Hath-Away!!!!!!!