Hospitality is cheerfully sharing food, shelter,
or conversation to BENEFIT others.
What’s Wrong With Hospitality?
A full-length sermon or Bible study outline
By Steve Withrow
Note: This can be used as either a complete sermon, a series of sermons, or used as grist to be adapted as a sermon or Bible study starter. Feel free to use and adapt it as you see fit. --SW
Hospitality is using what God has given to us to demonstrate His love for others.
I. Introduction
A. Hospitality Defined.
It is the word philoxenos (fil-OX-en-os), which means “fond of guests” or “friendly to strangers.”
B Our Story --Luke 10:38-42
Now as they were traveling along, He entered a certain village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. And she had a sister called Mary, who moreover was listening to the Lord’s word, seated at His feet. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only a few things are necessary, really only one, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
In a nutshell we have two women engaging in two separate activities. Martha extended the welcome to Jesus, but Mary made him feel welcome by spending time with Him. Martha was “distracted,” but Mary was “listening to the Lord’s word.” Martha wondered if the Lord cared because she labored all alone. Mary knew the Lord cared because she was in his presence. Martha was “worried” and “bothered.” Mary was at peace. Martha wanted Jesus to issue an order for Mary to leave his presence to help her. Mary was abiding in Christ’s presence and in the place of servitude at his feet.
So the question is, “Who was really showing hospitality, Martha or Mary?”
Here is the point. Martha was focused upon the event of Jesus. Mary was focused on the person of Jesus.
This is what we must realize: Hospitality is defined by your approach to your guests, not your approach to the event.
But so many of us are like Martha. Extending hospitality is one of the most stressful things we do. Why? What’s wrong with hospitality?
II. What’s wrong with hospitality?
A. Its’ inconvenient. It takes time to plan and clean and cook and prepare.
B. It ruins other plans. Unexpected guests.
C. It invades our privacy.
D. It brings us close to people we don’t like.
E. It puts us at risk.
1 By trapping us. “How do I get away from these people if I am uncomfortable around them?”
2 By revealing us. If we are putting up a front, we run the risk of being found out the longer we are around other people. If this is your problem, get right with God, so that when you are found out, they will discover Jesus.
Or it may reveal that we’re not particularly good conversationalists. If that is the case, start practicing conversational skills, and protect yourself by inviting 2 or 3 couples that are good conversationalists. Choose an activity like mini golf that keeps the event moving. But above all learn to laugh at yourself.
F. It costs money. Perhaps this is money I would rather spend on myself. But if money is really tight, invite someone to a potluck. Women work well together to plan a menu together, and it lowers the financial cost spent by one party. Or signal your intentions in advance to dress down the event. “Come casually, it’s going to be a cookout and horseshoes or scrabble.” Make no excuses to avoid hospitality. Find ways to obey the Lord, not reasons to disobey.
G. It puts us on display. No one likes the feeling that his home, or background, or socioeconomic status might be judged by another. It’s like living in a glass house with no blinds.
Realize that you’re on display anyway, even when you’re hiding. We’re like the baby playing peek-a-boo who thinks you cannot see her because she cannot see you. God sees you anyway, and you’re always on display to Him. Does He see you practicing hospitality? Does the world?
H. We sometimes use it as a way to climb socially. It is wrong to use hospitality as a way to ingratiate yourself to those you want to impress.
I. Our feelings get hurt when our guests don’t reciprocate. We need to realize that a love that expects reciprocation is a far cry from agape, which gives without strings or conditions.
III. What’s right with Hospitality?
A. It is the best way to tangibly love Jesus. Matthew 25:31-43
Then the King will say to those on His right, “Come you who are blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in… to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to me. Vs. 34-35 & 40
B. It is the best way to encourage others.
Paul wrote to Philemon, who had a church in his house, “For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.” Philemon, vs.7
Hospitality begets conversations that uncover the needs of the body. Acts 2:45 & 4:32-35 shows how no one in the early church lacked because people gave sacrificially to meet the needs that were revealed in the house church meetings.
C. It is one of the best ways to evangelize and disciple. When the gospel was extended to the gentiles for the first time, it occurred under the direction of the Holy Spirit to both Cornelius and Peter. Cornelius was instructed to extend hospitality to his friends and to Peter by having them meet together in his home for the purposes of hearing a gospel message and breaking bread. And Peter was divinely instructed to accept this hospitality. The Holy Spirit used hospitality as a vehicle for the gospel that led directly to their conversion and filling with the Holy Spirit. Acts 10:19-20, 22 & 11:3
D. It is a primary vehicle through which our spiritual gifts and abilities can be exercised. Through hospitality you can gain an opportunity to evangelize, exhort, encourage others through your faith, display helpfulness, pray with someone and exercise mercy, shepherd and teach, et al. Every spiritual gift can be exercised with power through the conduit of hospitality.
E. It is a great way to keep the house clean. Do you have problem keeping your house in order. Invite people over every week and it will probably solve the problem.
F. It is the only way to build and develop permanent friendships. It is a maxim that it is impossible to have a friendship where the gift of hospitality is not displayed.
G It is the best way to bind an intimate church without turning it into an exclusive church. Notice in Acts 2:46-47 that they were taking meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, and the Lord was adding to them daily those who should be saved. And remember what happened above in Cornelius’ house.
H It is the best way to meet an angel.
Hebrews 13:1-2 refers to the angelic visit to Abraham that preceded the destruction of Sodom, and led directly to Sarah’s pregnancy with Isaac.
IV. Hindrances to Hospitality
A Selfishness. This selfishness can be individual selfishness or family selfishness. Many people do not consider themselves to be selfish or inhospitable because they are so kind to their families. But you can be just as selfish with your personal family as you can with any other personal possession. Excessive family emphasis excludes others. This is sin, and is not far removed from Phariseeism.
B Disorganization. This includes an unkempt home, an unkempt calendar, or unkempt finances.
C Materialism. Many people are materialistic and don’t even know it. They think that you are only materialistic if you possess a great deal of the world’s goods. But a poor person can be just as materialistic as a rich person if they allow their lack of material goods to keep them from practicing hospitality.
We are often ashamed we do not have enough material goods to be worthy to entertain. The translation of that statement is that we don’t have enough finery to impress anybody, and the root of that attitude is pride and covetousness. We are not to find our worth or worthiness in what we possess. Hospitality is all about giving it away anyway.
D Busyness. Being too busy often leads us to either isolation or superficiality in our relationships. Our activities should revolve around clearly established Biblical priorities. If our activities revolve around anything else, then it is a distraction to our call. To take this even one step further, we should remember that God has not called us to busyness. He has called us to simplicity. Activity is less stressful, if it is more simply focused. Simplify your life by focusing yourself upon serving just one Master. No one can serve two.
E Prejudice. This does not have to be racial prejudice. It can be economic, or cultural, and can include any preconceived bias that keeps us from obeying God.
F Insecurity. This means we spend too much time wondering what people will think about us if we don’t “entertain” well enough. What we should be asking is what does God think about us if we will not obey Him by showing hospitality.
G Consumerism. Within the church this shows through an unspoken attitude that Christ, and the Gospel, and the Church exist for my benefit. Instead we must realize that we exist for Christ, and to do His bidding. John Kennedy said it well in the public arena when he said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” When is the last time you asked, “Lord Jesus, what can I do for you today?” If we will sincerely ask, he will tell us to be hospitable. He already has in His word.
H Perfectionism. Many do not want to entertain because of the stress of their own perfectionism. This again focuses us on the event of entertaining rather than upon the people who should be the objects of our hospitality.
J A paradigm that defines church solely as a family.
One Christian thinker has said, “When we envision the church as an idealized family, we are not very capable of welcoming the stranger. When family is the only metaphor we use, people with whom we cannot achieve intimacy, or with whom we do not want to be intimate, are squeezed out. Since intimacy often depends on social and economic similarities, church then becomes a place of retreat rather than true hospitality. Such a church does everything in its power to eliminate the strange and cultivate the familiar. Such a church can neither welcome the stranger nor allow the stranger in each of us to emerge.”
--Molly Marshall quoted in The Other Side, November/December 1995, p.57
IV. Practical Suggestions
These are suggestions from the book, The Hospitality Commands, by Alexander Strauch. Littleton, CO.
1 Plan ahead – if you wait until you’re not too busy you will rarely find time to show hospitality.
2 Sunday noon is suggested as a good time to plan to invite others to your home or out to lunch.
3 Make a list of people who would be especially encouraged by an invitation.
4 Don’t forget your neighbors – Plan a time to get to know them.
5 Reach out to others on special holidays – especially to those who have no family near them.
6 Keep it simple – you’re goal is not to impress people.
7 Keep it inexpensive – this will allow you to do it more often.
8 Make a special effort to invite missionaries or travelers when they come through.
9 Learn the art of conversation. Strauch recommends buying a book called 201 Great Questions, Jerry D. Jones, NavPress.
10 Be creative; pray, read scripture, take a walk.
11 Buy and use a guest book – it’s a great way to look back and recall special times and friends.
These 11 ideas were taken from a sermon by Tim Olson entitled, “Hospitality.”
V. Conclusion
The Mixed Message -- The Christian who will not practice hospitality is sending a mixed message to the world. He or she is saying, “Christ is for you, and Christ welcomes you, but I’m not sure whether I welcome you.”
Illustration – Use the 1-Minute Testimonial from this section entitled “Stay Back 100 Feet” as an illustration. Then ask the question, “What kind of mixed message is being sent by a person who has been welcomed into God’s family who will not welcome someone else?”
Spiritual power is a direct result of integrity. That means that your life begins to lift once your actions and beliefs say the same things. And Jesus calls us his sheep, or identifies us as goats according to that integrity. (Matthew 25:31-ff)
The Invitation – The invitation today is simple. This week, begin a renewed life of hospitality by extending an invitation to someone to come to your home. Who will do it?
Hospitality is using what God has given to us to demonstrate His love for others.