“THE MESSAGE OF GRACE #8-GRACE FORGIVES!”
EPHESIANS 4:17-32
INTRO: As we come to the end of our series of messages on grace there is one
word which comes to mind: AMAZING! The song writer Kirk Tally put
it this way:
No Other Word For Grace
By Kirk Tally As Performed By Gold City
Red can’t explain the beauty of the rose
White can’t tell the magic in the air when it snows
Marvelous can’t quite convey the grace of the King
The only word for grace is amazing
Now the Father looked behind the failures I had made
He didn’t notice all the times that I had not obeyed
And He overlooked all the scars of sin I had in me
And the grace, oh that He showed, still amazes me
There’s no other word for grace but amazing
No other explanation will do
Unmerited favor, a song that I sing
No other word for grace but amazing
No other word for grace but amazing
Other_Word_For_Grace.htm
One of the most amazing and unbelievable aspects of grace is that it
offers forgiveness to the guilty, mercy to the unmerciful, love to the
unlovable, pardon to the prisoner, and hope to the hopeless! In other
words, GRACE FORGIVES! I want to offer you a challenge this
morning: Am I willing to forgive others seeing that the Lord Jesus
Christ has forgiven me so much?
Max Lucado in his book In The Grip of Grace relates the story of Kevin
Tunell. Each week Kevin Tunell is required to mail a dollar to a family
he’d rather forget. They sued him for $1.5 million but settled for
$936, to be paid a dollar at a time. The family expects the payment
each Friday so Tunell won’t forget what happened on the first Friday
of 1982. That’s the day their daughter was killed. Tunell was
convicted of manslaughter and drunken driving. He was seventeen.
Tunell served a court sentence. He also spent seven years
campaigning against drunk driving, six years more than his sentence
required. But he kept forgetting to send the dollar. The weekly
restitution [was] to last until the year 2000. Eighteen years. Tunell
was to make the checks out to the victim, mail it to the family, and
the money was to be deposited in a scholarship fund. The family took
him to court four times for failure to comply. After the fourth
appearance, Tunell spent 30 more days in jail. He insisted that he
was not defying the order but rather was haunted by the girl’s death
tormented by the reminders. Tunell offered the family two boxes of
checks to cover the payments for what he owed. But they refused. It
was not the money they wanted but vengeance. The mother was
quoted as saying, “We want to receive the check every week on time.
He must understand we are going to pursue this until the end. We
will go back to court every month if we have to.” (Max Lucado. In The
Grip of Grace. pp. 149-150).
No one could doubt the loss and the hurt this family suffered. No one
should think it unfair that the guilty needed punished. But the
question is: Is 936 payments enough? Not for Tunell to send but for
the family to demand and be satisfied? Would 196 months’ worth of
remorse but adequate? How much is enough? If you and I were the
this family and Tunell had torn away a piece of our family from us,
how many payments would we require? More importantly, how many
payments do we require when someone hurts us? None of us make it
through this life free of hurt. Someone somewhere at sometime has
hurt you. You have been the victim. Just as this 18-year-old girl was
the victim of a drunken driver; you have been the victim. She died
because someone was irresponsible, drank too much and got behind
the wheel of an automobile. Part of you died when someone spoke
cutting words about you, leveled false accusations about you,
demanded too much of you or neglected you too much. Listen
friends, we all get wounded. So the decision we must make is: how
many payments do I demand? How much is enough?
Paul gives us the pattern of Christian forgiveness in Ephesians 4:31-
2—“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil
speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to
another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's
sake hath forgiven you.” It takes the grace of God to forgive as we
should! I want you to notice the last part of v32—“…forgiving one
another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” The pattern
of forgiveness for us to follow is: “…as God for Christ's sake hath
forgiven you.” He has done it:
(1) “freely” - without merit on your part - when we were confessedly in
the wrong.
(2) “fully;” he has forgiven “every” offence.
(3) “Liberally;” he has forgiven “many” offences, for our sins have been
innumerable.
This is to be the rule which we are to observe in forgiving others. We
are to do it “freely, fully, liberally.” The forgiveness is to be entire,
cordial, constant. We are not to “rake up” old offences, and charge
them again upon them; we are to treat them as though they had not
offended, for so God treats us (Albert Barnes’ Notes On The Bible).
Friends, Let us see today that GRACE FORGIVES! We have only two
choices we can make when someone hurts us: grace or grudge. Which
will we choose? Note with me this morning…
(1) THE CHARACTER OF HATRED
EPHESIANS 4:31—“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and
clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all
malice.”
- THE MANNER OF UNFORGIVENESS. Paul here gives us five ways in which unforgiveness manifests itself in our lives. Remember what I said earlier, we have two choices: grace or grudge when we are offended. Notice the progression: bitterness leads to wrath, wrath leads to anger, anger leads to clamor, clamor leads to evil speaking, with malice being the root of them all! Let us look at these six words and see how unforgiveness affects our lives.
- Bitterness. The word bitterness…means whatis corroding, as grief, or anything which acts on the mind as poison doeson the body, or on the minds of others as venom does on their bodies. Thevenom of the serpent lies harmless in his fang; but all evil feelings arepoison to the subject of them as well as venom to their object. Thecommand, therefore to lay aside all bitterness, is a command to lay asideeverything which corrodes our own minds or wounds the feelings ofothers. (AN EXPOSITION OF EPHESIANSBYCHARLES HODGE. Bitterness will destroy our usefulness for Christ. Bitterness will rob us of our joy. Bitterness will cause our prayers to go unanswered. "God does not accept the pennies, prayers or praises of the unforgiving, unrelenting heart." C. H. Spurgeon
- Wrath. The word wrath speaks of “passion, fierceness, indignation.” When we are unforgiving we have a passion, fierceness and indignation against those who have wronged us! It is the attitude of: “I’ll get you back!”; “You’ll pay!”; and “You haven’t heard the last of me yet!” James, the half-brother of our Savior wrote in James 1:19-20—“…my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”
- Anger. Anger here speaks of “violent passion, an excitement of the mind.” It is anger out of control. It is a drive, desire, and determination to see the one who has wronged us pay for his offense. Paul said in v26—“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” But the anger spoken of here consumes the offended ones life. They are always thinking of it, dwelling on it, and plotting on how to make the person pay who has wronged them. It is amazing how skillful we are at trying to get even with those who hurt us. The silent treatment, the avoidance treatment, and the nagging treatment. If we can ruin one day in that person’s life we have gained a point in our favor!
- Clamor. Clamor means “an outcry, a noise, disorder, contentious words.” They are words which people use when they are angry. Someone has said, “Anger makes your mouth work faster than your mind.” It is literally a fight with words. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts. --Robert Fulghum (The Timothy Report, November 8, 2004). We say many words in anger that we wish we could later recall. We say many words in anger that we wish we could repair the damage they do! That is why Paul warns in v29—“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
- Evil Speaking. This includes: slander, backbiting, angry expressions, tale-bearing, reproaches, etc. (Albert Barnes’ Notes On The Bible). All of which are incompatible with the Christian witness “because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Romans 5:5b).
- Malice. But the root cause of all of the five above mentioned is malice. The word simply means “wickedness, evil, malignity.” “as anger produces wrath, and wrath clamor, so all together produce malice; that is, settled, sullen, fell wrath, which is always looking out for opportunities to revenge itself by the destruction of the object of its indignation”(Adam Clarke’s Commentary on The Bible). Malice deals with the desire of evil upon others, being spiteful and showing forth meanness. It’s attitude is: “as long as I hurt, you hurt”; as long as I feel pain, you are going to feel pain!”; and “as long as I suffer, you must suffer!”
- THE MEASURE OF UNFORGIVENESS. The question then is, “how much is enough?” “How can the cycle be broken?” “How many payments will I demand?” Peter asked the Lord a similar question in Matthew 18:21—“…Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” Peter wanted to make sure he didn’t “over” forgive. The Jewish Law stipulated that an offender be forgiven three times but Peter was willing to double that. The answer Peter received from the Lord still stuns us, “…Isaynotuntothee,Untilseven times:but,Untilseventy timesseven.” (Matthew 18:22). What Jesus is saying, “If you have to count how many times to forgive then you have missed the nature of grace!” If you are measuring how much grace to give someone, you are not being gracious. If you keep tabs on mercy, you’re not being merciful! There should never come a point in our lives in which our grace becomes exhausted! You see, unforgiveness keeps score, keeps tabs, and keeps count! But that is not the nature of grace: GRACE FORGIVES!
ILLUS: George Harrison at one time was the pastor of First Baptist
Church (National Baptist Convention), Waco, Texas. When
George was 14 years old, he washed dishes at a seafood
restaurant. One night the dishwasher broke, and the owner
made George wash the dishes by hand. The lye-based soap ate
away the outer layer of skin on George's hands. It took five
weeks for his hands to heal. The owner neither apologized nor
helped George with medical expenses. George vowed to return
one day to give the owner a piece of his mind. Twenty-three
years later George met the owner at his restaurant. The owner
recognized George and said he had heard that George was a
Christian and a pastor and asked him to pray for his ailing
feet. Instead of blasting the owner for his callousness 23 years
earlier, George replied, "It would be a privilege to pray for you."
At that moment compassion replaced the hate and desire for
revenge in George's heart. He wrote: "I knelt down on my knees
at that crowded restaurant and prayed for him. I realized that
hate is a waste of time, for with humans a positive change of
heart is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'' –
Keith Durso (The Timothy Report,
September 6, 2004).
(2) THE CAUSE OF HATRED
EPHESIANS 4:26-27—“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go
down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.”
- THE PRIORITY OF GRACE IN OUR LIVES. V27 says, “Neither give place to the devil.” When we become angry and unforgiving we are giving place to the devil not to grace. We give place to the devil when we cherish anger, hold grudges, and refuse to forgive those who have wronged us. Where the grace of God is missed, bitterness is born. But where the grace of God is embraced, forgiveness flourishes.
ILLUS: A story is told of Peter Miller, a plain Baptist preacher living in
Ephrata, Pennsylvania in the days of the Revolutionary War.
Near his church lived a man who maligned the pastor to the
last degree. The man became involved in treason and was
arrested and sentenced to be hanged. The preacher started out
on foot and walked the all seventy miles to Philadelphia to
plead for the man's life. Washington heard his plea, but he
said, "No, your plea for your friend cannot be granted." "My
friend!" said the preacher. "He is the worst enemy I have."
"What!" said Washington, "you have walked nearly seventy
miles to save the life of an enemy? That puts the matter in a
different light. I will grant the pardon."
Friends, it is only when we give place for grace to operate in our lives that we can be forgiving. It is then and only then that we can practice what Ephesians 4:32 commands, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”
- THE PARABLE GIVEN BY THE LORD. Earlier, I mentioned the question that Peter asked the Lord concerning forgiveness: “…Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” In response to Peter’s question Jesus gave a parable that is recorded for us in Matthew 18:23-27. The servant mentioned in the parable had a severe problem. He had amassed an enormous debt and had no way of paying back his master. Someone has estimated his debt in the millions of dollars. With the economy of the day there was no way he could ever pay back his debt. Friends, let me say this morning that when it comes to our indebtedness to the Lord that our pockets are empty! We don’t need a salary; we need a gift. We don’t need a place to work; we need someone to work in our place. That SOMEONE is the Lord Jesus Christ! Romans 3:19-26 tells us, “Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God. Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin. But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets; Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference: For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.”
The Lord has forgiven us all SO MUCH! But let me ask does God require that we repay Him for His grace? Are we required to reimburse Him for His goodness? When we walk down the wrong path, does He cut off our feet? When our eyes look twice at things we should never have beheld in the first place, does He blind us? When we use our tongues for profanity, gossip, and tale-bearing instead of praise, encouragement, and truth does He cut our tongues out? NO! GRACE FORGIVES! The servant in Jesus’ parable owes an enormous and unpayable debt but the master of this servant out of grace forgives him all his debt! He leaves the king’s chamber a debt-free man!
But notice his response to the grace which has been forgiven him (Matthew 18:28-30). Does this sound like a man who has just been forgiven a tremendous debt simply because his master was gracious? His response to the grace bestowed to him makes no sense at all! But hatred never does! How could a thing like this happen? How could a man who has been freed from his debt not be quick to free others? How could one who has been forgiven so much be so unwilling to forgive others? There are two reasons why I believe this man was unwilling to forgive others? :