Personal Testimony of Bill Coulam
Although I was brought up in an LDS (Mormon) household, I reached a point in my life where I had to find out for myself whether this whole Creator business was for real, or whether it was just a collective farce shared by the majority of humans to comfort confused and little minds. I attended other churches, read spiritual works, compared belief systems, etc. But when it came down to it, nothing short of personally communicating with deity was going to convince me.
Well, near the end of this book, there is a scripture in Moroni, chapter 10, verses 3 - 5. Moroni was the last prophet to write in the book. He simply encourages the reader to ask God if the things in the book are real and true, and teaches the reader that God would answer by the Spirit. I decided to call his bluff. I reasoned that I had nothing to lose. So I gave it a good read (three times). I thought a lot about the historical perspective, comparing it with things I'd studied about ancient Central and North American cultures (Adena, Hopewell, Aztec, Mayan, Olmec, etc.). I thought about the things it teaches about Christ. I prayed a great deal, but didn’t receive an answer right away, which was quite frustrating. For a while, I started to believe that we really are just organic beings, that God is not real and doesn’t answer prayers.
It's a long story about what got me over this “hump”, but in short my heart was inexperienced. I’d spent my entire life trusting and succeeding with logic. I had no idea how to use my emotional or spiritual sides. A wise person told me to beg God daily to soften my heart so that I could feel, both human emotions and spiritual promptings.
Two weeks after I started praying for feeling, it happened. One night I was reading the Book of Mormon, listening to a beautiful song, and I received an enveloping experience that I simply cannot describe (but I’m going to try anyway). Think of the warmest, safest, most loving feelings you’ve ever experienced, perhaps in the arms of a parent or grandparent. Now multiply that 5000X. I felt deep, indescribable peace and the tender, sweet, loving care of my Father in Heaven. At the same time, I instantly learned truth and information I did not have before. All of a sudden, I knewthat:
- Our Father in Heaven is real.
- We are all not just His creations, but His children, and that I am his son.
- He knows me individually and is acutely aware of my doings and needs.
- Jesus Christ was my Savior and Redeemer. All I had to do was turn to Him, trust Him, follow Him.
- The heavens are still open, and that Father loved me enough to speak directly to me.
- The Book of Mormon is true and of God, written anciently and revealed today to support and clarify the Bible’s witness of Christ and His gospel.
All this and more, in just an instant! It was amazing. I really can't do it justice with words, but when it ceased, I knew. I no longer believed or had faith, I simply knew -- as if I’d spent a lifetime studying and learning -- that the things I’d been reading and wondering about were true. Although I didn't hear spoken words from God, it was nevertheless an experience that I can never deny, nor think it came from my subconscious psyche. At once, I was at total peace and filled with gratitude. And yet, the experience was so powerful that I was grinning from ear-to-ear while sobbing (in front of a bunch of guys who happened to be in the room). Just knowing that Father was real, let alone being given answers to all the other questions I’d had, was a lot for me to absorb so fast. But it was real, awesome and changed my life.
If you ever decide to read this in earnest, let me know. I'd be glad to answer any questions you might have. There are also missionaries from our church near you who would love to share more of what we offer the world. They’re the sharpest, neatest, most loving young men and women you’ll ever meet and would bless your home with a visit. I hope you have a great life! May God and his Christ bless you until we meet again.
Sincerely,
Bill & Jenny Coulam
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