Alex Wallace’s Titanic Trash Packet
By Alex Wallace, College of William & Mary Class of 2019
Author’s note: Tossups 1 and 6 are rather vulgar and likely ought not be read in a high school. They have been highlighted in red so you don’t have any excuse, and two extra tossups have been provided as compensation. If you do read the risque ones, you could use the alternatives as tiebreakers.
I goddamn warned you.
Alternative Tossup #1: A restaurant named for this animal offers a “royal red” burger with bacon and a fried egg. A song named for this animal by Bobbie Day speaks of how this animal beat “the buzzard and the oriole” at a certain task. An actor named for this animal portrayed Theodore Roosevelt in Night at the Museum. For ten points, name this animal, the name used by the sidekick to Batman.
Answer: Robin
Alternative Tossup #2: Poles with this prefix can provide their users with instant change of clothes. A spray named with this prefix can repel manta rays or Barracudas, but the only version of the spray with this prefix used was to repel sharks. A credit card with this prefix has an expiration date in “forever” and was used to stop a character played by Uma Thurman. For ten points, name this prefix in the name of a cave under Wayne Manor.
Answer: Bat
Tossup #1 This website hosted a film by Alexei Navalny after it was banned by a Russian court. Coolio premiered a music video on this website, and said site announced that it would plow snow in Boston for free. The football team of the University of Kent was banned from wearing jerseys sponsored by this website. For ten points, name this website whose Times Square advertisement proclaimed that “all you need is hand” and that wants to make the first pornographic film in space.
Answer: Pornhub
Tossup #2 Tom Watson undertook this action in the Palace of Westminster after Jeremy Corbyn urged Theresa May to invest in the National Health Service. Emmanuel Macron undertook this action in a school whilst campaigning for the French presidency. Richard Boyd Barrett undertook this action in the Dail when saying that they “needed more” hip-hop in said body; this was undertaken during a debate on drug policy. For ten points, name this action undertaken by the son of representative Roger Marshall in the presence of Paul Ryan.
Answer: Dabbing (accept word forms)
Tossup #3 Bizarre statements on this site include “When Does Teenager Die? Adults eat teenager alive, no record of their death.” This site’s author claimed that said site “antiquated known knowledge.” This site proclaimed that race-mixing “destroyed all the races” and its author appeared at Georgia Tech and MIT where he challenged professors to disprove his ideas. For ten points, name this site written by Gene Ray that claims that every day is actually four separate days.
Answer: Time Cube
Tossup #4 Marketing for this film included a video wherein two actors in the movie snapped and clapped whilst reciting the name of an animal. A character in this film hires another character who is “done breaking into places and stealing shit” to break into a place and steal some shit. The protagonist in this film gets a job at Baskin-Robbins after getting out of prison, and at its climax a giant Thomas the Tank Engine toy bursts out of a house. For ten points, name this superhero film involving Scott Lang breaking into the mansion of Hank Pym.
Answer: Ant-Man
Tossup #5 In a reddit AMA this individual replied ‘Go Fuck Yourself’ to somebody quoting his most famous work; he also said his favorite sandwich was ham. In April 2016 this individual released the album Keep Singing and previously released the single Singing on the album Keep It Turned On. This individual crashed a Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends float at the 2008 Macy’s Day Parade where he sang his most famous song. For ten points, name this singer who is Never Gonna Give You Up.
Answer: Rick Astley
Tossup #6 NPR censored this work when it was discussed by Guy Raz and Mary Beard. This work is addressed to a poet and a senator. This work states that it is fine for a writer to be a good person, but that his works have no such obligation of nobility, and that certain poems can ‘arouse an itch’ in old men. For ten points, name this work commonly described as the most horrifically vulgar work in Latin poetry, whose first line translates as “I will sodomize and face-fuck you.”
Answer: Catullus 16
Tossup #7 This vessel is a YT-1300f light freighter manufactured by the Corellian Engineering Corporation. After its owner left an establishment run by Chalmun, this vessel was fired upon by Imperial troops. This vessel was briefly under the ownership of Unkar Plutt, and later inadvertently landed on a space slug after escaping from Echo Base. For ten points, name this vessel that can make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.
Answer: the Millennium Falcon
Tossup #8 This individual once turned in an essay in middle school English class on the topic of ‘courage’ that consisted solely of his name on a piece of paper; said individual received an A on said paper. This individual has no backspace on his keyboard, knows Victoria’s secret, and tells Simon what to do. Bigfoot once claimed to see this individual, and said individual is the reason why Waldo is in hiding. For ten points, name this individual who counted to infinity twice and who can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Answer: Chuck Norris
Tossup #9 Paul Krugman went into economics as it was the closest real equivalent of this system. This system is directed through a Prime Radiant, which projects equations in colors such as black, red, and blue. This system was developed by Yugo Amaryl and Hari Seldon. For ten points, name this mathematical method of predicting the future in the works of Isaac Asimov.
Answer: Psychohistory
Tossup #10 After this actor graduated from college he served as a radio announcer for the Chicago Cubs. This actor’s first film was the 1937 Love is On the Air and later appeared with his wife in Hellcats of the Navy. This actor’s final film was a remake of The Killers, and he also co-starred in Santa Fe Trail and gained a famed nickname in Knute Rockne, All American. For ten points, name this actor who famously played an amputee in King’s Row who later served as President of the United States.
Anwer: Ronald Reagan
Tossup #11 This website features April Fool’s Day Jokes known as Ad Hominem Ad Nauseum and once had an off-topic forum in which all posts required pictures of non-national flags. This website uses its sponsor’s name as a security question during registration for an account and was the site of a 2010 cabal scandal. This website has a forum dedicated to women in its subject matter that requires all posts to be approved by administrators. For ten points, name this premier quizbowl forum on the internet.
Answer: hsquizbowl
Tossup #12 The origin of this meme may be a stylized representation of a band-stop filter, and was referred to as Chad. This meme may be a representation of a Massachusetts shipyard inspector or an ill US airman. One leader of a country, upon seeing this meme in multiple sites, enquired if said meme was an enemy spy. For ten points, name this pre-internet meme involving a big-nosed bald man looking over a wall with a statement proclaiming his presence.
Answer: Kilroy was here
Tossup #13 One deleted scene featuring this individual had him tell a sad person to ask for a girl’s number. In another scene, he is among a crowd watching a senator emerge from the ocean. In one scene he is mistaken for Hugh Hefner; another scene sees the same character mistake him for Larry King. In another scene in a different movie, he is a strip club DJ, and in the sequel to that film’s trailer, a vigilante in a red suit recognizes him. For ten points, name this frequent cameo actor in superhero movies, the godfather of Marvel.
Answer: Stan Lee (accept Stanley Lieber)
Tossup #14 This object is produced by a child company of Global Chemical Unlimited and is on sale at participating stores for $14.95. This object comes with a lifetime warranty and should be kept refrigerated when not in use. This object should not be used on concrete and is being dropped by US warplanes on Iraq and is shipped to US troops in Saudi Arabia. For ten points, name this small round red object that you should not taunt.
Answer: Happy Fun Ball
Tossup #15 When this individual was mentioned by I Fucking Love Science, he asked why his name was not blurred out. This individual got into an argument about whether In-and-Out Burger ever served roast beef, and he stated that he is only qualified to diagnose item deficiency. This individual said that our brains could get so big they could take over our bodies, and pretended a Pringles can was alternatively a telescope when he was six and a crush from school when he was 13. For ten points, name this internet troll on Yahoo and other sites who we are all on this blessed day.
Answer: Ken M
Tossup #16 This artist made a statue of his boss to spite a competitor, and played the kazoo as a child. This artist said that “anyone can be a big shot in a hick town like” the town he lived in, and once dreamed of being a king’s musician. This artist turned down a doctor’s offer to repair his instrument of choice, and soon after he conducted a band that played Sweet Victory in a football stadium. For ten points, name this artist who plays the clarinet and whose most famous artwork is the self-portrait Bold and Brash.
Answer: Squidward Tentacles.
Tossup #17 Jason Mendelson wrote a song for every component of this system. Fictional components of this system are called Platz, Marigold, Franklin, Becton, and Abernathy. A popular facebook page that demands for reform of this system bears the name “Unsuck” this system. For ten points, name this constantly on fire public transport system that attempts to provide rail transit to the capital city of the United States.
Answer: Washington Metro(accept “DC Metro” or synonyms for Washington; prompt on general answers like ‘subway’ or ‘train)
Tossup #18 A paper submitted to multiple sham journals by Lucas McGeorge and Annette Kin included a story regarding this individual. This individual served as a Magister of the InterGalactic Banking Clan and intended to become a co-Chancellor of a certain government. This individual had knowledge of abilities some would consider unnatural. For ten points, name this wise individual who ironically could save others from death, but not himself.
Answer: Darth Plagueis the Wise (accept Hego Demask II from hardcore Star Wars geeks)
Tossup #19 A character with this surname works in a wooden office as wood is a scarce commodity in his world. Another character with this surname as a given name receives Techno Trousers and leases a room to Feathers McGraw. A mob boss with this surname dispatches Jules and Vincent to acquire a suitcase; Jules later interrogates a man by asking what the man with this surname looks like. For ten points, give this surname borne by Mel Gibson’s character in Braveheart.
Answer: Wallace
Tossup #20 An animated adaptation of this story infamously features a rapping dog; that dog’s musical number is called Party Time. A film by the studio Asylum with the tagline “a hundred years later, lightning strikes twice” billed itself as a sequel to this story. One film adaptation of this story had Neil DeGrasse Tyson correct the pattern of stars in the night sky. For ten points, name this story regarding a shipwreck most famously brought to screen by James Cameron.
Answer: the R.M.S. Titanic
Bonuses:
Bonus #1 For ten points each, name these literary hoaxes.
a)Give this pen name of James McAuley and Harold Stewart used when they submitted pseudo-modernist nonsense to the magazine Angry Penguins. Nevertheless, their work under this name is seen as a modernist masterpiece anyway.
i)Answer: Ern Malley
b)This novel was written by a coterie of science fiction and fantasy authors to bamboozle a hoity-toity ‘literary’ publisher. It omits chapter 21, chapters 4 and 17 are identical, and chapter 34 was created by the Bonsai Story Generator.
i)Answer: Atlanta Nights
c)This author submitted a nonsensical article to the journal Social Text that stated, among other things, that quantum gravity was inherently a left-wing idea. His goal was to demonstrate that postmodernist journals would publish any bullshit that agreed with their biases; he was unfortunately right.
i)Answer: Alan Sokal (accept ‘Sokal Affair’)
Bonus #2 For ten points each, answer these questions about The Far Side by Gary Larson.
a)One comic contained a lady ape inspecting a man ape, asking if he had spent the night with this primatologist. Said primatologist said she enjoyed the comic after her office was unamused.
i)Answer: Jane Goodall
b)A strip with this two-word description required an explanation by Larson, maintaining that it was simply absurd.
i)Answer: Cow tools
c)One strip gave rise to this name for a Stegosaurus’ tail, claiming it was named for a deceased caveman.
i)Answer: Thagomizer
Bonus #3 For ten points each, name these tongue-in-cheek laws.
a)This law states that whatever can go wrong will go wrong.
i)Answer: Murphy’s Law
b)This adage states that one should not assume malice when stupidity is a valid explanation.
i)Answer: Hanlon’s Razor
c)This law states that the amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude higher than the amount of energy needed to create bullshit.
i)Answer: Brandolini’s Law or the Bullshit Asymmetry Principle
Bonus #4 For ten points each, answer these questions about shit that doesn’t make sense in the 1978 Superman film.
a)After talking with Lois Lane in costume, Superman rapidly disrobes and assumes the role of this awkward newspaperman. The fact that both are played by Christopher Reeve is lost on Lois.
i)Answer: Clark Kent
b)Superman successfully prevents one of these natural disasters by lifting chunks of rock after Lex Luthor launches nuclear missiles with the intent of pulling off a massive real estate scam.
i)Answer: an earthquake
c)At the end of the movie, Superman undertakes this action to reverse time and prevent the death of Lois Lane.
i)Answer: flying around the Earth (accept obvious equivalents)
Bonus #5 For ten points each, answer these questions about the film Olympus Has Fallen.
a)At the beginning of this movie, North Koreans hijack an AC-130 to gain control of this Washington, D.C. landmark. The headquarters of ‘Olympus’ is inside of this landmark.
i)Answer: the White House
b)The defector Forbes accidentally gives his status as a traitor away by dropping the name of this terrorist, who orchestrates the attack.
i)Answer: Kang
c)The Secretary of Defense is dragged out of Olympus by the North Koreans whilst cheesily reciting this text.
i)Answer: the Pledge of Allegiance
Bonus #6 For ten points each, name these cereal mascots.
a)This creature has been compared to Sisyphus in regards to repeating the same task over and over again for no reward, but eventually acquired a certain cereal, which is said to be “for kids.”
i)Answer: the Trix Rabbit
b)This mascot, whose given names are Horatio Magellan, was said to be under investigation for impersonating an officer by the US Navy.
i)Answer: Captain Crunch
c)An ABC article stated that this mascot was “not Irish” and went on to state its cereal was not sold in Ireland
i)Answer: The Lucky Charms Leprechaun
Bonus #7 For ten points each, name these comedy musicians who are not Weird Al Yankovic.
a)This musician wrote such oddities as We’ll All Go Together When We Go and also set the periodic table to the tune of Modern Major General. He has said that satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize.
i)Answer: Tom Lehrer
b)This more modern satirist wrote numbers such as Kill Yourself and Repeat Stuff, the latter of which mocks the vapidness of pop music.
i)Answer: Bo Burnham
c)Another musician to mock the vapidness of pop music is this Quebecois satirist, who did so in his song Pop Song. Other works by this comedian include Radio Friendly Song and Please Use This Song.
i)Answer: Jon Lajoie