Sexual Responsibility: Society, Torah, and Social Action

Sexual Responsibility: Society, Torah, and Social Action

Aaron Arbiter, NFTY-NAR SAVP 2005-2006

Ben Levine, NFTY-NAR PVP 2006-2006

Touchstone Text: Shofetim Deuteronomy 16.20 “Justice, justice shall you pursue, that you may thrive and occupy the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”

Concept: The driving idea in this program is for participants to look at society, look at Judaism through the Torah, and then to look at themselves. When we collect items for a social action drive, we assess the needs of the community before deciding what kind item to collect. Here, while we are not examining needs of society, we are looking at the role that it plays in regard to sex, PPs will be fueled by this discussion, it is my hope that through the course of the program as PPs are divided into smaller and smaller groups, eventually being on their own, that they will challenge themselves, not only with being responsible and having respect for themselves, important issues that need to be addressed in any sex program, but to set goals for themselves as socially active and aware members of their TYGs and communities.

Goals:* 1. To challenge participants to address sexual responsibility as an aspect of their Judaism and as a concept of social action.

2.  To have participants consider societal expectations v. the role of sex in their lives.

3.  Explore the concept of Tikkun Midot.

4.  Analyze the roles of sex in the Torah and sex in society.

5.  To use the fuel of heated discussion to have PPs define their roles as socially active PPs.

Objectives:* 1. Participants will understand what role sexual responsibility plays in this year’s Social Action Theme.

2.  PPs will be broken in consecutively smaller groups to focus the discussion from broad to personal.

3.  PP’s will discuss what sexual responsibility means to them as Jewish teens, and as active members of NFTY and their TYGs.

4.  PPs will set goals for themselves defining their goals and their passions on social action issues.

*In no particular order.

Materials: 1. “Society” magazines, Glamour, GQ, People, Esquire. (Men’s and women’s magazines)

2.  Tables and chairs.

3.  Markers.

4.  Note cards.

5.  A safe room.

6.  Pens and paper.

Timetable:

00:00- 00:05 PPs enter Beit Am.

00:05- 00:10 Introduction

00:10- 00:14 Travel to location and get in groups.

00:15- 00:30 Same-sex discussion & Group sharing.

00:30- 00:32 Travel to new groups

00:33- 00:47 Second group discussion

00:47- 01:00 Open Space technology

01:02- 01:12 Individual goal setting & wrap-up

Procedure: Overview: PP’s start in the same room, together, then they are separated by sex into different locations (part 2a and 2b). After that discussion is complete and the groups have shared with each other, half the men will go to the women’s location, and half the women will go to the men’s location, creating mixed gender groups for the next discussion.

1.  Participants enter the Beit Am and are seated on the floor. PL: “This morning we will be talking about sex, about society, about responsibility, and of course, about Torah! While we are hoping you find this program to be fun and interesting, and to provide some great discussions, we also realize that some of the things we are about to discuss are highly sensitive, so if at any time you feel uncomfortable you can remove yourself from the program and one of us will take you to an adult supervised safe room. Otherwise, I ask you all to be respectful of others, refrain from lashon h’rah, gossip, and have fun!

The first thing we will be doing is separating you by sex, a ,metaphorical machitzah, does anyone know the purpose of a traditional machitzah?” (allow pp’s to answer.) The purpose was so that women would not distract men from prayer, but for us, we hope it will make for a more productive discussion environment as we discuss gender sensitive issues. So now I ask all the men to move quickly into the teatron and the women into the program room.”

2a. The Teatron is set up with benches in triangles with one or two group leaders at each. They will randomly grab 10 PP’s for each group.

In each group:

1. Define sex: Any discussion of sex must begin with a definition of sex. The act of sex has different means to different people, and also brings about different emotional responses in people. Some people consider certain sex acts less important or meaningful than others, for example some will say “Oh, oral isn’t really sex…” etc. In your groups, quickly go around the circle and have each person give his or her own definition of sex.

b.  Magazines. Each group in the Tron should have several “society magazines” like GQ, Glamour, Esquire…etc. Men’s groups should have more men-focused magazines, but women’s magazines w/ pictures of men should be interesting. Have PP’s flip through the magazines and have them each pick out (but not tear out) a picture. Next ask them to share: Why does this picture say to you about how society views us as men? While the pictures do not show sex, advertisements often invoke sexual references, what do you think these pictures imply about the role of men in sex/relationships and in general? You may not get an answer from each person, but try to go around the group and have each person share one thing. How do these pictures affect or not affect how you view yourselves? You are trying to get them to think about how they fit into society, how society views them, and how to deal with these messages. What do you think these pictures say about how men view each other? About how women (or gay men) view us?

c.  Sharing: PL “Now what I would like each group to pick some things they discussed, and use them to make your own decision (possibly a brief “brit” statement) on the definition of “sexual responsibility” that you will share with the whole room. Allow them a minute to discuss depending on time, find a group that looks ready and ask them to share first. Then the PL will ask each group to share, time permitting.

2b. The same activity will be done in the program room, set up w/ chairs in groups of 12 room for groups of 10 w/ GL’s. Obviously the questions will be tailored for women, but the basic questions remain the same, the two sexes having the same discussion.

3.  Split your group in half, send five of them to join a group of the opposite sex in the other location. Scouts will please moniter groups so they go quickly to their new location.

4.  In your new mixed gender groups, please discuss:

1. Texts: In their new groups of men and women Have the PP’s read the texts given to you on note-cards in this order and answer the questions following each:

i.  Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God, he created him; male and female. He created them.

- What do you think this has to do with roles of sex, society, and Judaism?

- What does it say about how we, as Jews, should treat others? What about how we treat ourselves?

1. "Rabbi Kahana once hid under his rabbi's bed. He heard him chatting with his wife, joking and doing what they required. He said to him: one would think your mouth had never sipped this dish before. He said to him: Kahana, you are here? Get out, because it is rude. He replied it is Torah and I require to learn.” - Babylonian Talmud

- How about this text, what does it say on the topic of sex, society, and Judaism?

- Are some ways of learning about sex and sexuality better than others? Is experience the best teacher?

- To what extent can we refer to the Torah today for a good model of a healthy sexual life?

1. Misc. Quotes: “Prostitution is the oldest profession.” “Masturbation will make you go blind” “It’s my body, I can do whatever I want with it.” “The orgasm is a gift from God, we should have as many as possible.”

- How far has society come in sex, and where are we going?

- Consider the Jewish texts, and the quotes. What is the role of a sexually active Jewish teen? A non-active one?

5.  The role of sex in Social Action(surprise, it’s a social action program!):

1. Resolutions. PPs will examine several resolutions and responses dealing with sex and sexuality from different branches of the reform movement over time.

b.  Ad Hoc Committee On Human Sexuality: Report to the CCAR Convention, June, 1998.

AD HOC COMMITTEE ON HUMAN SEXUALITY: Report to the CCAR Convention, June, 1998

Jewish religious values are predicated upon the unity of God and the integrity of the world and its inhabitants as Divine creations. These values identify Shleimut as a fundamental goal of human experience. The Hebrew root ShLM expresses the ideal of wholeness, completeness, unity and peace. Sexuality and sexual expression are integral and powerful elements in the potential wholeness of human beings. Our tradition commands us to sanctify the basic elements of the human being through values that express the Divine in every person and in every relationship. Each Jew should seek to conduct his/her sexual life in a manner that elicits the intrinsic holiness within the person and the relationship. Thus can shleimut be realized.

Other Resolutions are in the back of this program, pick a few to share with your group, then ask the following questions:

c.  Resolutions passed by NFTY, the CCAR, and other branches of the URJ have consistently dealt with issues on sex, sexuality, gender, and sex education. Are these resolutions important to us in our Jewish value of Tikkun Olam?

d.  Tikkun Midot: Most PPs know the concept of Tikkun Olam, healing the world; many are unaware that healing oneself is equally important. How can we embark on a quest to fix the world if we ourselves are not whole?

e.  Tikkun Midot emphasizes the healing of oneself, Refuach Sh’limah, the renewal of Mind, body and spirit.

1. How does Sexual Responsibility relate to the concept of Tikkun Midot? How does it relate to this year’s Social Action Theme?

6.  Open Space Technology: Available to PP’s in each group are sheets of large white paper and a marker to answer the last question on. Not all PP’s will want to answer, but tell those that do to stand around the room on the wall with their answer. This allows people to share their thoughts nonverbally. PP’s can browse others thoughts and join each other’s groups. PP’s with papers can also merge with other PP’s along the wall to form multi-part answers. Eventually clusters have been formed. Ask the three largest to share their thoughts.

7.  Individual Goal Setting: Ask the PPs to try some goal setting. Make sure each PP has an index card and something to write with. Make a single file line and lead them to the lake, lining them up along the shore. Behind them PL says, “Hopefully, you have clustered into groups and addressed the concept of Tikkun Midot. It is not something we often discuss when we approach the issue of Social Action. Briefly you may have discussed issues anywhere from health care, to AIDS, to abortion, to abstinence. I am not here to tell you how to feel about any of these issues. Hopefully you can look at them, and think about sex responsibly, as socially active, Jewish a teenager, that is something you can be proud of. Take a moment or two now to write down some of your thoughts concerns and goals. Goals are so important in doing Social Action work, its something I stressed with many of your TYG’s SAVP’s at LTI. Having had a heated discussion about sex, society, and Torah will hopefully leave you with a lot on your minds and have have things you still want to say. That energy can be tapped, what are your passions, what are their goals?”

-Allow a few moments, and then PL reads:

If you complement your flame of youth with a sense of focus and urgency, you have the power to move worlds.

- The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Menachem Mendel Schneerson.

“Look out at the lake, what we will now do is something that has become somewhat of a hallmark of summers here at the NFTY national Leadership center. We will count to ten, and at ten, inhale, and scream as loud as you can out at the lake, just trust me.”