A Contract of Love

The world, in all its glory, is made up of light and dark, good and bad. This is true of all things. It is true of people. We are a great mixof good and bad. This mixture determines who we are.

It is human nature to suppress or hide behavior that others might find offensive, just like it is human nature to show off one’s good qualities. We cannot know what is hidden in the hearts and minds of those around us. We can only hope that whathides there will not cause us pain.

Because I love you and want to protect you from harm, I need to tell you these facts.

* I recognize that I do not know what is in the minds of others.

* I understand that I cannot be with you 24 hours a day, every day of your life.

* I understand that I will never know all that happens in your life.

* Therefore, I must trust you to tell me if someone harms you.

Out of love, I ask you to enter into this contract with me.

I, ______, give my solemn promise to remember that

(The Child)

you love me, no matter what. I promise to remember, even when I am angry, that you want what’s best for me. I promise to take care of myself, especially in your absence. I know my health and happiness are vastly important to you.

Because I know these things to be true, I promise to tell you if any person, no matter who that person is . . .

1) Hits, kicks or hurts my body in any way.

2) Touches me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.

3) Asks or tells me to touch their body in a way that makes me uncomfortable.

4) Shows me their private body parts.

5) Threatens me with embarrassment or violence.

6) Gives me secret presents.

7) Asks me to lie.

8) Wants me to do something I am not allowed to do.

9) Tells me to keep something a secret that is bad or makes me uncomfortable.

In return . . .

I, ______, give you my solemn promise that, no matter what

(The Adult)

happens, I will always love you. I promise that, even when I am angry, I want what is best for you. I promise tovalue your health and happiness above all. And know, I will alwaystry to protect you.

I know, in life,bad things will happen to you and they will cause you pain. That is part of living. But know there is nothing that can happen to you that will ever change my love for you.

Because I know these things to be true, I promise you if you tell me that someone, no matter who that person is, did any of the things listed above I will . . .

1) Listen.

2) Believe you.

3) Love you.

4) Support you.

5) Not blame you.

6) Not be angry with you.

7) Protect you from further abuse.

8) Take appropriate action.

Together, on this ______of the year ______,

We, ______and ______, agree to trust each

(Adult) (Child)

other through whatever happens in life. We promise to fulfillthevows we havemade to each other on this day.

Should the day come when one of us should break our vow, then it becomes the duty of the other to remember the great love we holdand . . .

I, ______promise to tell as many other people as

(Child)

needed until an adulttakes action to protect me. This includes calling the police. It is important for me to do what isneed to do to stop the abuse.This is my pledge to you.

I, ______promise to take your words to an

(Adult)

impartialperson in authorityand ask for their help and advice. Then, I promise to follow their advice. This is my pledge to you.

This is our “Contact of Love.”