11/18/15 College Writing Marina Revision Assign.
Find and fix the fragments in the passage below. You should be combining fragments with independent clauses to create sophisticated and error free sentences. You will also need to correct other comma errors. A correct version of this paragraph will have 11 correctly punctuated sentences. Do not add any additional words.
1Marina, the beautiful mermaid, wanted some tuna salad. 2But had a small problem since she was allergic to celery. 3At Sammy’s Sub Shop, Marina hoped to find tuna salad free of this dangerous vegetable. 4Flopping across the tiled floor to the counter. 5Marina placed her order and then checked her sandwich for celery. 6Not noticing however the spoiled mayonnaise. 7At five o'clock that evening, Marina became violently ill with food poisoning. 8When a lifeguard at the beach discovered the problem he called 911. 9Even though the mermaid had fishy breath. 10A handsome paramedic gave her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 11Wailing like a sick dog the ambulance sped off to the hospital. 12Where the doctor on call refused to treat a sea creature with a scaly tail. 13A kind nurse however had more sympathy. 14After she found some Pepto-Bismol. 15Marina drank the entire bottle of pink liquid feeling an immediate improvement. 16The mermaid told the rude doctor never to swim in the ocean. 17For she would order hungry sharks to bite off the doctor's legs. 18While sharp-clawed crabs plucked out his eyes. 19Tossing her long hair Marina thanked the nurse for the Pepto-Bismol. 20And took a mint from David the handsome paramedic.
©