Sugar Babies…No Longer Delicious Candies in a Bag

Yesterday evening someone said to me, “Alicia, you really should have more faith in the human race.”

In my defense, I used to be one of the most optimistic people I - or anyone around me - knew. Of course, that’s when I was in high school and anyone’s biggest worry dealt with which girl was going to be voted on to the Homecoming Court or who was sleeping with whom.

“Oh, my God, [insert so-called ‘bitch’s’ name here] totally begged for those votes.”

“Did you hear? [Insert so-called ‘slut’s’ name here] is pregnant!”

Sure, I knew there were kids at my school who had their best meals during the school year. And yes, I knew there were students who didn’t do so well in classes because their home lives were crap. I was aware of these things. Yet, I was in high school, and those worries weren’t at the top of my list of things to be concerned about. I was nice to everyone, but I had my own “worries” to deal with.

It’s easy to be optimistic when you know your life won’t always be filled with days of, well…pathetic nonsense.

However, we grow up - rather, we grow older - and we find that pathetic nonsense packed its bags and traveled along with us. A few hours after I was told I should have more faith in the human race, I was introduced to a Web site called - brace yourself -

At first I thought it was some kind of joke. It was late night television; not an uncommon time to see satirical commercials making fun of random things. Could this commercial be mocking the many dating Web site services I myself have made fun of so many times before?

Um, no. Quite the contrary; this was a legit “dating” Web site. My nagging curiosity led me to my computer to check it out, and I was bombarded with pictures of scantily clad women and very well-dressed, professional looking men. To make a long - though humorous - story short, this is the gist of the site: Wealthy, bored people (a.k.a. SugarDaddies and/or SugarMommas) and less wealthy, bored people (a.k.a. SugarBabbies) can get together. The wealthier of the two will spend money on the less wealthy in return for…”companionship.” The site discriminates against no one. There’s room for straight SugarPeople, gay SugarPeople – hell, there’s even room for married SugarPeople.

From the front Web page:

“We are a Sugar Daddy Matchmaking Service with the goal to bring together rich, successful men [Sugar Daddy] and attractive women that love to be pampered, spoilt and supported. Looking for an ExtraMarital affair? Find what you really want and join our free adult daiting site - Cut to the Chase!”

And yes, they spelled “dating” incorrectly.

I decided to conduct some research of this Web site (you know, I don’t want to rip it and its customers a new one, thus showing a lack of faith in humanity, without first knowing exactly what I’m talking about.)

After deciding on a screen name, giving your age, body type, and annual income (typical of most dating sites), you are given a free membership - a free membership which, of course, doesn’t offer all the perks of a paid membership, but, you can still reap the benefits of slutting it up with some lonely rich man for material wealth and possessions. In a nutshell, aside from the free membership, there are four types of pay memberships ranging from $14.95 to $39.90 per month.

An excerpt of the “disclaimer” at the bottom of each screen:

“Your use of the site constitutes acceptance of the Terms Of Use Agreement. Please take note that we prohibit anyone from promoting illegal activities (such as prostitution) […]”

Illegal activities such as prostitution? Excuse me, Mr. Creator of, but in my opinion, these SugarBabies are prostituting themselves in order to be “pampered, spoilt, and supported.”

Unsurprisingly, I have two pieces of advice.

SugarDaddies and SugarMommas: Get a clue. For $39.90 you can go out with friends and possibly meet a decent man/woman who will like you for free. Oh, and if you’re married? Put the money towards marriage counseling or a divorce, you cheating losers.

SugarBabies: Get a job and buy your own damn stuff.