Self-Compassion: Core Concepts

Self-Compassion: Core Concepts

Dr. Kristin Neff, Educational Psychology Dept., University of Texas at Austin

Self-Esteem

·  For years self-esteem was seen as the ultimate marker of wellbeing

·  Self-esteem is a global evaluation of self-worth

·  Potential problems with high self-esteem - Not if you have it, but how you get it

Ø  The need to be special and above average

Ø  Social Comparison

Ø  Narcissism

Ø  Bullying and Prejudice

Ø  Contingency of Self-Worth

Ø  Inevitable Feelings of Inadequacy

Self-Compassion

·  The three components of self-compassion (Neff, 2003)

·  Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment:

Ø  Treating self with care and understanding rather than harsh judgment

Ø  Actively soothing and comforting oneself

·  Common humanity vs. Isolation

Ø  Seeing own experience as part of larger human experience not isolating or abnormal

Ø  Recognizing that life is imperfect (us too!)

·  Mindfulness vs. Over-identification

Ø  Allows us to “be” with painful feelings as they are

Ø  Avoids extremes of suppressing or running away with painful feelings

·  Physiological underpinnings of self-criticism

Ø  Threat defense system

Ø  Cortisol and adrenaline

·  Physiological underpinnings of self-compassion

Ø  Mammalian care-giving system

Ø  Oxytocin and opiates

Common confusions

·  Belief that self-compassion is weak, complacent and passive

Ø  Compassion can be a strong, powerful force for change

·  Confusion with Self-Indulgence

Ø  Compassion wants long term health not short term pleasure

·  Confusion with making excuses

Ø  Self-compassion provides the safety needed to admit mistakes

·  Belief that self-compassion will undermine motivation

Ø  Most people believe self-criticism is an effective motivator

Ø  Motivation with self-criticism comes from fear of being worthless

Ø  Motivation with self-compassion comes from the desire for health and well-being

Ø  Self-compassion provides the emotionally supportive environment needed for change

Research on self-compassion

·  Most research conducted with the Self-Compassion Scale (Neff, 2003)

·  Explosion of research into self-compassion over the past decade

·  Reductions in: Anxiety, depression, stress, rumination, perfectionism, shame, negative body image

·  Increases in: Life satisfaction, happiness, connectedness, self-confidence, optimism, curiosity, gratitude

Self-compassion vs. self-esteem

·  Offers same benefits without pitfalls

Ø  Fewer social comparisons

Ø  Less contingent self-worth

Ø  More stable self-worth

Ø  No association with narcissism

Linked to motivation

·  Greater desire to learn and grow

·  Personal standards just as high, not as upset when don’t meet them

·  More likely to try again when fail

·  Linked to health behaviors

Ø  Diet, exercise, quitting smoking, less alcohol use, more doctors visits

Linked to personal accountability

Ø  More conscientiousness

Ø  Taking greater responsibility for past mistakes

Ø  Disposition to apologize

Linked to Coping and Resilience

·  More effective coping with divorce, combat trauma, chronic pain

Linked to Other-Focused Concern

·  More caring and supportive relationship behavior

·  More perspective-taking and forgiveness

·  Greater compassion and empathy for others

Family Influences on Self-Compassion

·  Attachment security

·  Parental criticism

·  Conflict in home

·  History of abuse

Clinical Improvements in self-compassion linked to:

·  Less depressive relapse (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy)

·  Less depression, anxiety, shame (Compassion Focused Therapy)

Mindful Self-Compassion Program (MSC)

·  8-week workshop designed to explicitly teach skills of self-compassion

·  Uses meditation, informal practice, group discussion and homework exercises

·  Randomized clinical trial of MSC with intervention group vs. wait-list control group

·  Matched-pair t-tests found significant pre/post change in all study outcomes for intervention group (p’s < .05)

·  Also found significant increase in self-compassion, mindfulness, social connectedness, and happiness for control group (p’s < .05)

Ø  Follow-up survey found controls were reading books and actively trying to practice self-compassion

·  Experimental group had significantly more change in self-compassion, mindfulness, compassion for others, depression, anxiety, stress, avoidance, life satisfaction

·  All well-being gains maintained over time

·  Degree of formal and informal self-compassion practice both related to gains in self-compassion

Self-compassion calculator, videos, research articles, guided meditations and exercises available at: www.self-compassion.org

Suggested Reading:

Germer, C. K. (2009). The mindful path to self-compassion. New York: Guilford Press.

Gilbert, P. (2009). The compassionate mind. London: Constable.

Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion. New York: William Morrow.

6 Session Audio Training

Neff, K. D. (2013). Self-compassion step by step: The proven power of being kind to yourself. Sounds True