The Power of Play
Kerrie LaRosa, LCSW
Parent Coach
Play Every Day
Spend at least 10-15 minutes every day playing with your child. During this time, give your child your undivided attention (no cell phones, computers, tv, daydreaming). Children love their parent’s attention and spending even a short amount of time has a lasting impact on your relationship and can minimize behavioral issues throughout the day.
The Right Stuff
Use toys that are safe and interactive. Toys such as blocks, puzzles and balls promote gross and fine motor skills as well as thinking and problem solving skills. The best toys should engage children in play, not entertain. I love to look at and for ideas.
Follow Your Child’s Lead
Let your child choose the activity and follow their lead. Often adults get caught up in our own agenda or teaching children the “correct way” to play. Tune into what your child is doing and let them lead the way.
Act Like a Sports Commentator
Describe your child’s play. It may seem uncomfortable at first, but this technique not only tells your child that you are paying attention, but teaches them communication and academic skills. Saying, “you have three blue blocks”, teaches your child numbers, colors and language skills.
Let Them Know You're Listening
Reflecting your child’s verbalizations is another way to demonstrate attunement. During play, repeat what your child says. Feel free to correct grammar or add details to what he/she has said. For example if your child says, “I builded a tower.” You can say, “You built a very tall tower.”"
Avoid Questions, Directives and Criticism
Questions, directives and criticism can take away from the experience, interrupts the flow of play and shifts the focus to the parent. Play is an opportunity for parents to enter a child’s world – enjoy it!
Let Them Struggle
It is hard to see children struggle. But, if parents always save the day, they deny children the opportunity to learn. Letting children work to figure things out on their own promotes self-confidence, persistence and problem-solving skills. If it is too hard for them to accomplish on their own, offer some help and guidance to make it easier, but don’t take over and do it yourself!
Praise
Use this opportunity to praise your child for their efforts. Be particularly generous with your praise if they exhibit positive behaviors or skills you want them to develop. If you are trying to encourage social skills, praise him or her for taking turns or sharing. The more specific you are with the praise, the more effective. Here are some examples: “I like the way you are playing so quietly”, “Thank you for putting the blocks away,” or “Great job being gentle with the books.”
Have Fun! Children pick up on their parent’s mood. Be enthusiastic, have fun and enjoy the special time together!
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