Affair on the 74th
by
James T. Kitchens
999 Juel Street
Orlando, FL 32814
321-217-3763
Affair on the 74th
John – a young businessman. He is wearing a nice suit and carrying a portfolio case.
Laura – a young lawyer, wearing business clothes and high heels. She has a brief case.
Setting: An elevator on the 74th floor of a building in an unspecified city
Affair of the 74th
The scene opens with the ding of an elevator bell. John is on his cell phone
John
OK. Hey, I am getting on this stupid elevator. I’ll call you back after I get on the ground.
(John waits gentlemanly while Laura gets on. John punches a button for the bottom floor and the doors close. There is a sudden jolt and the lights in the elevator flash. John and Laura look at each other a little startled.)
Laura
What do you suppose that was?
John
I’m not sure. (John reaches over and pushes the button again)
Laura
I don’t think we are moving. We aren’t going down. Hit the button again.
John
I am. I’m hitting it!
Laura
Hit the one to open the door.
John
Oh my God! Nothing’s happening!
(John picks up the elevator phone. Laura pulls a cell phone out of her briefcase)
John
Hello. Hello! It sounds like it’s dead. There’s no tone or ring or anything!
Laura
Can’t get any cell reception.
Affair of the 74th
John
Maybe terrorists have attacked the building like on 9/11!
Laura
I didn’t hear anything. You know, like crashing or explosions? Probably just no reception in this steel box.
John
(With a panic in his voice) We’re trapped! We’re stuck on the 74th floor inside a box! I can’t believe this! We could fall!
(John starts shouting)
Can anyone hear me? We’re stuck in the elevator! Is anyone there? Get us some help! Please! (He pauses but there is only silence)
It’s feeling a little stuffy in here. I feel like I can’t breathe!
Laura
Calm down. Look, there’s an air vent in the ceiling. We have air. Take off your tie and coat. It will be cooler. Try not to panic.
(John slips off his coat and his tie, loosening his collar, and sits down.)
John
I hate small places! It’s just like in my dreams!
Laura
Let’s settle down and just try to relax. I’m sure it won’t be long – what’s your name?
John
John.
Laura
I’m Laura. (Laura sits on the floor next to John.) Let’s just help each other get through this.
Affair of the 74th
John
How? Oh, God! We could fall!
Laura
Come on now. That’s not going to happen. There’s probably safety features or something. Just focus on me and I’ll help you. Just listen to me. Let’s talk about something to take our minds off of the situation until someone comes.
John
Like what?
Laura
Well – Let’s play a game. I love to play games.
John
Don’t tell me you have a scrabble board on you.
Laura
I’m trying to help. Can you give me a break?
John
Sorry. You’re being nice and I’m being a jerk. It’s really not like me.
Laura
Like you – that’s the game. We will try to guess each other’s life story. You know, how did we get this point in our lives?
John
Sounds crazy, but OK. OK. Maybe that will help. (John takes a deep breath)
Laura
So. Mr. John. You start. Tell me about who you think I am.
John
Oh – I don’t know. Let’s see -I think you - you were a fashion model, a fashion model in Paris.
Affair of the 74th
Laura
Good start. But come on, give me the details.
John
The owner of the fashion house thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Laura
Hurrah for me! And?
John
And you and he had a passionate love affair.
Laura
Really? So, where is he?
John
Oh, well, he tragically died when his private plane crashed.
Laura
You really do have an issue with falling out of the sky.
John
Guess so. But, everyone was shocked when they read his will and found out that he left you the design house and his fortune. You now run an international fashion empire. How did I do?
Laura
Not even close. I am a low level lawyer in a big corporate firm that doesn’t really care a wit about me. And, my feet are killing me. (Laura take her shoes off)
John
A lawyer. You sure don’t look like the lawyers I deal with.
Laura
OK, my turn. I’m pretty sure you’re not a bricklayer by the cut of that suit. I think you were a college football star. Everyone thought you were destined to become a rich and famous professional football player.
Affair of the 74th
John
Well, you didn’t recognize me, so that’s not true. What happened?
Laura
In your last game – for the championship – you dove for the end zone to score the winning touchdown, but as you scored you were hit, suffering a career ending knee injury.
John
Darn, that was bad luck.
Laura
And then the beautiful cheerleader who was your fiancée left you.
John
Why didn’t I kill myself?
Laura
Because, because your caring nurse in the hospital convinced you that life wasn’t over. You could still be great.
John
So, where am I today?
Laura
You are a sports agent. You’re the guy who negotiates all those multi-million dollar contracts for professional athletes. Right?
John
No. My mother would never let me play football and I’m Executive Vice President of a company called WebBiz.
Laura
The software giant? Wow, you can’t be more than your early 30’s and you are VP of a global software company. You may not be a sports star, but that is still impressive.
Affair of the 74th
John
Yes, it was my great business skills, and of course, my father founded the company and is Chairman of the Board.
Laura
Well, at least you like it?
John
Despise it.
Laura
Despise? That’s a strong word for what looks like a good life.
John
My life is a result of my mother. Always telling me how much my father had sacrificed for me; how I owed everything to him. Like a dutiful son, I got my MBA – which stands for Most Boring Activities.
Laura
Wow, I guess I am not the only child who was a victim of guilt.
John
You? How were you a victim of guilt?
Laura
Ever hear of Jackson, Washington, and Lee law firm?
John
Sure. They are one of the largest and most powerful corporate law firms in the city.
Affair of the 74th
Laura
My father is Jackson. The founding partner. Sounds like I got the same song and dance as you. My father sacrificed everything for me and the future generations, and yadda, yadda, yadda.
John
But you said you were a low level lawyer. If your father is the founding partner, I would think you could have anything you wanted in the firm.
Laura
There’s one problem. I was born a girl.
John
I did notice that. Why do you think I guessed you were a model?
Laura
My father is one of the last great male chauvinist pigs. I spent my early years trying to impress him. But, if I made a 99 on a test, he would say, “well, what did you miss?” Never, “way to go!”
John
That’s awful. So, why did you go to law school?
Laura
I didn’t want to, but it was clearly put to me I would go to college, major in pre-law and go to law school with one sole purpose.
John
And that purpose being?
Affair of the 74th
Laura
To find the most brilliant male law student in the class and calculate a way to entice him into marrying me so he could take over the law firm.
John
And the result of this plot?
Laura
Wendell. Wendell was at the top of our class from day one and a total nerd. I don’t mean to be unkind. I like Wendell. I brought him home thinking my parents would be appalled, but my father loved him.
John
But, you are beautiful and smart, why in the world should you settle… I’m sorry. I know we just met, but when I saw you getting on the elevator, you kind of took my breath away.
Laura
(touched) A man hasn’t ever told me that. I never think of myself that way. Anyway, Wendell told my parents he wanted to marry me. When I tried to tell Mother that I didn’t love him, she told me not to be silly. Love was a romantic notion for fools. So, eventually, I gave in.
I see you’re wearing a ring. Bet you have a gorgeous wife who is the love of your life.
John
Well, you’re half right. Gwen is gorgeous, but I am not sure the other part is true.
Laura
You mean a man who just flattered a strange woman didn’t marry for love? Sorry - that wasn’t nice, I just…
Affair of the 74th
John
It’s OK. Sounds like you and I have parallel paths. Gwen fit the social mold. Her father is a big investment banker who financed our company’s global expansion. We just married our fortunes together.
Laura
We have to change games.
John
What?
Laura
This is depressing. I know, let’s play Secret!
John
What you are talking about?
Laura
We have to tell each other a secret that no one else knows.
John
How do we know we can trust each other?
Laura
If we fall 74 floors does it matter?
John
You said that wasn’t going to happen!
Laura
Just kidding, just kidding. Relax. Come on. Play the game.
John
You go first.
Affair of the 74th
Laura
OK. I have always wanted to be a chef and own my own restaurant.
John
Well, that’s really not much of a secret, you know, as secrets go.
Laura
The secret is I created a fake client for the law firm named the Culinary Institute. Fake bank accounts and everything.
John
Why?
Laura
Because I can go to cooking class under the excuse I am meeting with a client. I have the law firm bill my fake company and I put the money in to pay my own bills.
John
That’s really clever.
Laura
Maybe someday I will just take off and buy my own restaurant. OK, your turn.
John
I really don’t have. . .
Laura
Everyone has a secret. Come on. Confess.
(John reaches in a file and pulls out a colorful brochure. He hands it to Laura.)
Affair of the 74th
Laura
Bora Bora. You want to take a vacation? Now, that’s not really a secret. Everyone wants a vacation.
John
No, I want to buy that small hotel where all the rooms are on stilts over the water. You know, run a hotel where everyone is happy and not trying to cut each other’s throat for a buck.
Laura
Good fantasy, but still a pretty lame secret. Everyone has a fantasy of running away to. . .
John
But I have the money. My secret is not the hotel. The secret is I have taken my end of year bonuses for the last three years and put them in a Cayman Island bank.
Laura
Why did you do that?
John
Just to commit one small act of rebellion and have a stash if I ever escaped.
Laura
And, your wife never missed the money?
John
Gwen just spends what she wants. As long as the credit card is paid, she does not think about money at all.
Laura
We ARE trapped in a box.
Affair of the 74th
John
I think you were right. This elevator is solid and probably has some emergency brake or something.
Laura
I’m not talking about the elevator. I’m talking about. . .
John
Yeah, I get it. You know what, it doesn’t have to be this way! When I get out of this elevator, I am going straight to the airport. I’ll have my money wired to me and be in Bora Bora before anyone knows I’m gone.
Laura
Really? You would really take that leap?
John
Yeah, I’m sick of it. No looking back. There’s just one thing. Look here. There’s a restaurant on the property. I need a chef to run it.
Laura
You mean me? Well, I couldn’t. . .(Laura stands there for a moment and then explodes) YES! YES I CAN!
(Laura jumps into John’s arms hugging him tightly. They look at each other ready to kiss. Suddenly, there is a jolt and the lights flash.)
Laura
What’s that?
John
The elevator; we seem to be moving.
(They look at each other and suddenly both have a stricken look. They let go of each other and begin hurriedly putting their shoes back on, straightening their clothes and picking up their files. There is a ding of the elevator and the voice says “ground floor”. The door opens and Laura goes out the door and turns right, John goes out the door and turns left. Neither looking back.)
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