ASCHAM OLD GIRLS REUNION 8th August 2009
40 Years on – A BOARDER’S PERSPECTIVE
It was a given that those of us who lived out of the cities would be ‘a boarder’, that we could no longerto continueat our local public school or home schooling for our education; as my mother sysinctly put it that if I stayed ‘one was likely to get pregnant at 16 & married to a fettler at the railway at 17”. As my best friend from school was the result of such a pregnancy & subsequent marriage, who was I to argue. So, it came to be that every term we were sadly fare welled from small railway sidings around NSW.
Thus the boarding experience would be one of strong andmixed emotions.
One emotion I think we all identified with, was the one of incredible homesickness- that feeling of total abandonment one felt esp., when arriving back at Central station to be met by a House Mistresswith all the emotion of an Easter Is Statue.
This got me to thinking ---- How was it that these women actually got their jobs?!!
Our junior house mistress was Mrs. or Old Ma Wait as we very daringly called her behind her back.
I can see her at the interview headed up by theAscham school board (ASB). ‘Sooo tell us why you wish to be house mistress full of emotionally traumatized and homesickgirls.
M W“Well like them I have no friends, and I don’t even have a family who want to see me any more.
I have nowhere to live – so am in need free food and board; I have no ability to relate with young ‘gels’- oh I do like cats. My cat, Puss’ums, that is – ASB – ‘Oh that’s great, highly strung Siamese cats and girls have a lot in common!!! That’s great, you’ve got the job’!!!
Interview with Mrs. Rowe of Raine House
Mrs. R -‘We’ll I never had a happy relationship with any one; I’m from the Queens country I can teach this a bunch of colonialists how to speak and behave, I have nowhere to live so I’m in need of free board & food --- Oh I do love dogs. My dog Pancho that is!
ASB –‘Oh that’s great, dogs and girls having similar training needs. You’ve got the job’!!!
Interview with Miss Sharp of Glenrock House –‘Well, as you can gather I have never been married but I see that as an advantage as I have been able to frighten off every potential male suitor and therefore can do so with any young male who dares to walk through the gates of the school,
plus I am able to intimidate any boarders parent with my stone faced stare; I have no sense of humour; my code dress that hasn’t changed since the 1940’s, so I can set the right dress code for the gerls. Oh & I don’t care for cats or dogs or teenage girls’!
ASB –‘That’s great-if you are seen as caring and empathetic, the girls might take advantage of you --you’ve got the job’!
I think it was because of these emotionally devoid house mistresses that we had to look else where to have our needs meet. Thus it was to each other we turned and from there strong relationships developed, & a resilience that has helped us deal with the many challenges we’ve confronted in our various lives.
Was it a reflection of our unmet emotional needs that resulted in our unusual obsession with food? Looking back we sent alot of time in Cahill’s restaurant eating comfort foods like cheesecake and its famous butterscotch sauce; being a boarder there was always a birthday so an ice-cream cakewas a great way to bring friends together; having midnight feasts on food stored amongst our dirty laundry was hugely bonding; and of course we would never have dealt with the emotion trauma of the exams if it haven’t been for the vita wheat biscuits and cheese slices!!!
So you can imagine my surprise to discover in reading the Charivari that the ‘day girls’ also had a similar emotional need for food that competed with the Boarders – no task for the faint hearted I assure you!!!!
I had been reading about the contributions you had all made to various teams and committees – but the committee that had the greatest interest and support was & here I’m going to read the activist names – Susan Cohen, Bonnie Saunders ,
Catriona Anderson, Angela Cook, Jennifer Cunliffe,
Elizabeth Dick, Claudia Emery, Wendy Fuller, Stephanie Garland, Jennifer Halliday, Janis Hardcaslte , Karen Hedberg, Susan Kerr, Melanie le Guay, Anthea Mair, Katherine Massey-Green,
Diana McSweeney, Belinda Paul, Margaret Phippard, Adele Piggin, Helen Ritchie, Pam Toohey,
Geraldine Weekes and Margaret Yeates – in case you were’nt counting, that’s26 of you !!
So what was the role for this huge committee?
Well their role was to run this very needy organization called the TUCKSHOP!!!
And after a full year of every day girl and boarder spending up big at the tuckshop they raised enough money to send to 2 important organizations – Children’s Medical Research &
Freedom from Hunger Campaign-
the amount….. $15 each!!!!
Obviously our needs were greater than theirs!
However on a more serious tone,reflecting on what I think my feminist grandmother, Linda Littlejohn, would have to say on of our times – I can only think she would have been thrilled to see that regardless of our ‘perceived ability, or lack ofit in my case, by the school’ thatall of us were expected as womento be well educatedand that our parents were willing to make financial sacrifices for us to do so;
it was a time where we could make choicesabout what we wanted to do for a our careers;if & when we wanted to marry;
we had control over our fertility andcould enjoy sex for its own sake; we could be financiallyintellectually independent;
we felt liberated enough to challenge existingstandards by being first to wear mini skirtsjeans with a fly; dye our hair with magic silver white, buy Rolling stones records with highly suggestive words like ‘ I can’t get know satisfaction’ ( not that we knew what it actually meant) and danced crazy dances the twist & the trog !!!!
However in spite of the very comprehensive Dolton system, being a boarder often meant that we were sheltered from much of the main stream of life – I naively came out of Ascham believing that ‘pot’ was something you did a wee into, the a ‘lesbian’ was an Italian sausage and that a ‘poofter’ was a smelly fart.
However like all Ascham women, both before and after us, the one truism is thatour school experiencedeveloped bonds between us & established this wonderful interconnectedness that has remained strong throughout all our diverse and often physically separated lives.
The Ascham experience brings with it an immediate connection with those whom we shared those same formativeyears.
I sense that at this reunion tonight we will all reflect very much on those ‘connections’-those who added to our laughter, our crazyantics and personal friendships…. in particular I would like to mention those who can no longer be with us:-
Melanie LeGuay, Maret Glanville, Julie Buckmaster, Janie Cartwright, Annabel Coles,Edwina Abrahams and most recently Mindy Stannard. I would like to believe that their presence is with us this evening.
In acknowledgement of those who have or are dealing with overcomingpersonal tragedies and health issues – in particular those of you taking on the challenges to overcome cancer.
I congratulate you for your fortitude and resilience.
It also needs to be recognized that many could not make it here tonight due to having taken on responsive caring roles for other family members or having other personal issues to attend to – your presence is greatly missed – maybe 2019 will be your year!!
Finally I would like to share with you what I had written in my diary over 40yrs ago- a Sat in 1968 - ‘Went to DJs – brought ‘Love Me Do’ – oh Ringo Starr is ‘so cool’. Miss Bavin (augh) - has allowed us to use the assembly hall tonight for dancing- wore my pink skirt (mini of course) and DB.s ( those essential fashion items - dessert boots) Quote ‘When we are dancing just amongst ourselves it is so much better– we girls do,do it better!’
Well girlswe do!!
Well done Ascham girls of 69 – Keep on dancing!!!
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